Beyond the Outer Gate Lies
by gabriel blessing
Summary: Harry Dresden had thought he'd seen it all. So had the voice inside his head for that matter. But when one of his all too typical wild weekends ends up with him stranded far outside the Outer Gates, beyond the stretch of even creation itself, he finds out that there are other things out there, laying in wait. Still doesn't make it any easier to make rent on time though...
1. Chapter 1

Beyond the Outer Gates Lies… Devils?

_Author's Notes: And here's the latest out of my Anti-Writer's block thread! I've been bandying a few stories around on there for a bit now, though mostly I've been caught up on Hdxd. Such fertile ground it has._

_Anyway, it won't take a genius to see that this fic is obviously inspired by Surrarin's 'Devil You Know', an awesome fic that is succeeding wonderfully so far at integrating both world's mythos. It does involve Harry when he's still sixteen and developing into the wizard we all know and love. I found myself wondering just what it would be like if the Harry from later series, the one with all the special powers and neat tricks and experience would interact, especially in a world where Fallen Angel doesn't mean creature older than time darker than how I take my coffee._

_Thus, BtOG's was born. _

_Not exactly high drama, just your standard 'take one character from another series and plop them through plebonium powered circumstances in another. But hey, sometimes it's fun to read that kind of thing too._

_So, as always, enjoy while Harry rediscovers how much he hates hormones, bullies innocent school devils, and indulges in buddy cop antics with the voice in his head!_

***Story Start***

I was fighting a monster on a pile of bones.

Wait. Let me rephrase that.

I was feeling firsthand what it felt like to have had your ass kicked eighteen different ways from Sunday, by a creature that could probably throw down against Mab, so far beyond the Gate that any chance of me ever seeing it again was probably laughable, all atop a mountain of bones so vast and ancient that if atmosphere actually existed in this region of the Nevernever I would probably need an oxygen tank to be able to breath.

Plus, I'm pretty certain it was a Wednesday. I never could quite get the hang of Wednesday. Always hated the day actually. Maybe if I worked a nine to five than I could welcome it as a hump day, but with my hours, it just meant the week was half over and the next half was probably gonna be just as bad.

_Perhaps you should be focusing, my host?_ Oh. And there was that voice in my head again. You know, funny thing about voices in your head. When you first get them, you absolutely hate them. Especially if that voice belonged to the shadow of a fallen angel that had existed from beyond space and time and was trying to lure you to hell. But after you get to know them for a bit and then they get literally drilled out of your grey tissue by a psychic assault by an Outsider, you actually realize just how much you got used to them, how much you'll miss them.

But only until they come back and you realize that even without the temptation of hell as an agenda it was still really annoying to be renting room space in your brain.

Regardless of how good the rent was.

_Is now really the time to be reminiscing?_ The voice drawled, amusement in its obviously feminine tone.

'I liked you better when you were still a dormant parasite, Lash' I told her dryly.

_You mean when I was unable to express myself as anything besides blinding debilitating headaches?_ the shadow of a fallen angel sounded more curious than actually offended.

'You're right,' I would have nodded if I wasn't busy having my cheek indented by a fungal monstrosity, sending my body careening through a pile of shattered ribs and what looked like femurs. 'Nothings really changed, has it?'

_Droll_, Lash told me, her own tone dry. _Your attempts at humor remain humorous because you still haven't realized that everyone is laughing at you, not with you._

'I'm pretty sure Mouse laughs with me!' I declared, a wall of ice erupting in front of me, just barely stopping a limb which may have been a tail, a tentacle, or a proboscis from carving out my heart. Above me, a sun erupted as the heat I stole from the air to make the wall gathered. The fire glowed, white hot, before it glittered, something shimmery and silvery joining the white.

I was quite satisfied when my return fire lifted the monster I was fighting, before driving it down, forcing it through pile after pile of sharp bones, some of them for shapes which had never before been witnessed on the actual earth.

I thought about burying it, but the last time I had it had burrowed, and nearly taken my leg off at the ankle.

_Mouse is a dog, and thus cannot laugh,_ Lash pointed out back, and this time I smirked.

'Do you really think that, Lash? Knowing Mouse, do you?' I challenged. I was greeted by silence in my head, though outside it the scream of rage from the creature I was fighting very nearly swept me off my feet, literally.

_Ah, look. Your attack seems to have angered it,_ Lash changed the subject, and my smirk only grew.

"Wizard!" the monstrosity screamed its rage to the heavens, and the mountain of bones we were fighting on shook, as in literally shook. Avalanches of yellow and white began, the landscape around us changing as it charged once more, leaping literally hundreds of yards as it came down on me from above. An explosion echoed behind me as I dodged, lashes of Winter's Ice keeping it from chasing. "How long do you think you can continue, Mortal! You may have closed the Gates, you may have stopped us, but you cannot escape anymore! You have locked yourself in here, with us!"

"No," I shouted back, trying not to notice the way blood kind of mixed in when I spoke. "I'm not locked in here with you, you're locked in here with me!"

Now if I only had a funny mask that changed shape and a trench coat.

You know, once I might have looked up to Batman, but all things considered, Rorschach was probably the best I could go for now.

He was a bloodthirsty sociopath, after all, and considering just how much Winter I had in me, that was probably the best I could aspire to these days.

_My host,_ Lash continued softly, proving that having a reformed fallen shadow in your head means you don't get to ignore things like coughing up blood. _You know as I do. This cannot continue._

'That's quitter talk, Lash,' I admonished her, wiping blood from my chin, and trying to get it out of my eye. I thought about maybe using my sleeve, but there wasn't much left of my duster. It might have been enchanted to withstand bullets, claws, hostile magic, and to remain light and breathable, but I might have overlooked enchanting it against withstanding sustained assault by one of the Walkers of the Outside.

I probably should have extended the scope of my preparation. It really wasn't paranoia, when there really were invisible demons poised to rip your face off.

_Harry Blackstone Copperfield Dresden,_ Lash whispered softly, and I stiffened. It wasn't my Name, but it was the closest that anyone had ever gotten to it. She was a voice in my head, after all. She knew me, in ways no one else ever could. She couldn't compel me with something like that, even if it was close, but it was enough to let me know how serious she was. _You know as well as I, how dire the situation. _

Mark the day in guild and gold. For once, I had no comeback.

It had been a wild week. Most of my life was pretty quiet, filled with the standard drudgery that came from trying to make a living as a wizard/private investigator, interspersed by what I've come to think of as pretty wild weekends. Weekends that involved stopping fairy wars or assassinating fairy queens. Or stopping apocalypses. Or destroying entire species…

I miss the days when wild weekends meant waking up on your stove with no idea how you got the beer bottles to stack into a perfect copy of the pyramids of Giza.

Nowadays, a wild week meant stopping a penetration of the Outer Gates, spearheading a Fae/human/vampire/Denarii/just-about-everything-in-between assault on the leader of a demonic invasion force of Outsiders, before nobly closing the gates forever with yourself on the wrong side to both save humanity and finish killing the last of the Walkers.

'Die Alone.'

That was me. Right here. Right now.

And you know what? I could deal with that. Honestly, I was fine.

Because me dying alone meant everyone else didn't die. Because it meant I could stand here, now, and face this monster that sought the end of all I knew, all I loved, and all I stood for.

Murphy. Molly. Thomas. Even Marcone, Lara, those assholes Nicodemus and Kincaid. Hell, even Mab, Vadderung, and the freaking Erlking weren't so bad when it came to the other options…

And most importantly… My daughter… Margaret…

_So you've made your decision then, Harry?_ Lash breathed in my skull, the sound coming as though it was next to my ear. I knew it wasn't real, I knew it was just her, but I felt soft arms envelope me from behind, holding, comforting, and supporting. I knew it wasn't real, but I felt a forehead against the back of my neck, and the wetness of tears there as well.

'I don't have much left in me,' I told her, softly, tired and sore. It was the truth. I might have been talking a good game, but I was down, down to the very last of me.

I've been using powers not meant for mortals. Things that left marks on you, inside and out. Things that drained you, broke you, and warped you.

And it would have been cheap at a thousand times the price to get me here, to have done what I've done.

I just saved the world you know. Again. How many times was it now?

It was a sad thing when you started to lose track of how many times you could say that.

"Wizard!" the creature I was fighting screamed again, mad with hate and rage.

"He Who Walks Behind," I spoke up, and it was probably a sign that the Walker of the Outer Realms truly didn't understand my world's existence that he didn't freeze at the sound of it.

I'm told I'm pretty damn scary these days.

I believe them when they tell me that.

"What do you think to accomplish?" the Walker who approaches unseen laughed, closing in on me with a loping stride, as much as home on all fours as it was bipedal. "You are alone, you are lost! You are mine! I will dissemble you, and make your suffering legendary! You will beg me for a death I shall never allow! Who are you to try and stand against me!"

"My Name is Harry Blackstone Copperfield Dresden," I said, eyes narrowed and steel in my voice.

_Harry…_

"Who am I to stand against you? I've killed Fairy Queens. I've annihilated species. I've put up with Charity Carpenter on momma bear syndrome…"

_Oh Harry,_ Lash sighed, sounding amused.

"I've stood against elder fey and fallen angel alike. I've died, and been risen again. I am of the Wise! I am one of Winter, who guards this realm! I am recognized by Angels and Gods alike!" Power. Power grew in me. Recklessly, without hesitation or regard. Without thought of anything but the next blow. Magic was emotion and feeling, and right now, there was only one thing in me. "And! What! I! Am! Is! Defiance!"

Defiance. If ever there was a word that represented me, if ever there was something that encapsulated me to my very core, that was what it was. Defiance against the creatures that ruled in the night and thought human their prey. Defiance against the forces that sought to dominate and destroy. Defiance against all who thought to rule me, to control me, to destroy me.

Defiance against the thought that McDonalds could EVER be better than Burger King…!

_Really Harry?_

And right now, I was Defiance against this thing.

Die Alone? As long as I had drawn my line in the sand, than I could deal with that.

Power. Such power. The air around me billowed, and every bone in a hundred yard radius froze, cracked, and shattered. Winter formed before me, pure Winter, a cold so great it made the space between stars look like a bonfire. And with that Winter, the fire formed too, the two points of opposite extremes standing side by side, a cold so pure it darkened the light around it and a fire so hot it couldn't be looked at.

'Lash,' I ordered, and the imaginary head on my neck nodded, the imaginary tears stopped.

_As you wish, my beloved Host._

The fire changed, growing hotter, growing darker, an alteration of its very nature. The smell of brimstone and sulfur billowed around me. It became something different, something dangerous, something more.

Hellfire. The power of destruction. Out here, beyond the Outer Gates, I welcomed it. It might be Hellfire, but Hellfire was of my world, so using it here to defend that world was right.

The Winter Orb changed too. The ball of ice glimmered, becoming something more, something glittering. Frost and Silver joined.

Soulfire. The power of creation. The very method with which angels existed, and existence came to be. Granted to me by Uriel himself for services wrought.

The two were an invincible combination, the truest form of Yin and Yang ever expressed in my reality.

And they would kill me.

Hellfire could only be used by succumbing to infernal temptation, a damnation of the soul.

And Soulfire, which only could be used by burning your soul itself to wield.

There wasn't much of me left at this point. I'd been fighting too long, digging to deep. If I let the fight go any longer, I would lose, trailing bits of myself behind me as I did so.

So, better to go out with a bang. Even if it unmade me to my very core, I was Defiance.

I would take He Who Walks Behind with me. I'd already taken He Who Walks Before and He Who Walks Beside. This would finish all of the Outsider's Walkers. Maybe more would come later, but if they did, they would remember this day, and what it meant to stalk my reality.

Die Alone.

"Mortal!" He Who Walks Behind didn't seem to realize what he was facing, or it didn't care. It came, and I unleashed myself.

The two forces launched, interweaving, intertwining, binding, and in the end…

…_ost…my host… HARRY!_

"Lash?" I whispered, feeling very, very tired. I was cold. So cold. And… empty? There was something that should be in me, and it wasn't there. I… I was breathing… but why was I breathing? What was… the point…

Suddenly something bit me. In a place it really hurt.

"Damnit Lash!" I squeaked, trying desperately to pull something with teeth of something where teeth shouldn't go.

_Well, at least you're awake now, my host._

"Aren't you supposed to be a temptress?" I groaned, still trying to pry the feel of imaginary teeth off me. It proved difficult when I couldn't really touch the imaginary thing hurting me.

_Are you really surprised that some among my hosts considered this the height of passion?_ Lash informed me, and finally the feel of my nipple being gnawed off stopped.

"No, and the fact that it doesn't only disillusions me more!" I groaned, flopping back on the bones. I was tired. Tired, sore, bleeding from a dozen wounds, probably with more bones broken than actually existed in the human body.

But I was alive.

Who saw that coming?

"Mortal…" I heard a whisper, and if I wasn't already empty, if I wasn't already cold, my blood would have frozen.

"You have got to be kidding me," I deadpanned, not really able to pull any real emotion up but still able to recognize that if I could I would be in a cold sweat. "He Who Walks Before must have been the jabronie in your group, because he went down with a hell of a lot less than that."

"Mortal," He Who Walks Behind groaned, and I took in the sight of the once terrifying Walker.

And what a sight it was.

It was trapped, much like Lea had been so long ago, in a prison of ice. Twisted thorns and piercing icicles held it in place, stretching its limbs and locking them in place. But the prison wasn't complete. Large swathes and whirls had been carved into it, a sign of the hellfire that had ravaged parts of the ice. The parts that hadn't been melted by the Hellfire held true, the Soulfire locked in it making it more than just frozen water.

"Not so tough now, are you," I muttered, pushing myself weakly to my feet. I wished I had my staff, but I had broken that with a sucker punch back when I had been dealing with He Who Walks Beside. Demons and things never really expected a wizard to use anything but magic, and I always loved taking advantage of that.

"You have bested me, Mortal," the Outsider hissed. Its huge mouth split into a grin that I immediately recognized as a sign of incoming trouble. "But I shall not perish alone."

"You," I growled, slumping as I glared. "What did you do?"

The creature laughed. "It isn't I you need fear anymore. Mortal, have thou never wondered, why it is we are so desperate to take your lands? Or did you ever think that perhaps I chose this battleground for another reason?"

'What do you think, Lash?' I thought, mind already racing as I tried to figure out what the thing meant. 'Useless trash talk, or ominous foreshadowing?'

_My host…_ Lash trailed off, and I noticed with increasing worry that she did not seem to be taking the trash talk option. _Something… Something comes. Look._

I felt imaginary hands guide me, and I let them. Then I stopped, staring.

"You took me somewhere with a red star?" I deadpanned, staring at the small glimmering red light in the distant sky.

"It comes, Mortal. The one even we fear," He Who Walks Behind laughed. "It comes, and we both shall perish for it."

_Host, _Lash began, and I noticed that her, a shadow of a demon from beyond the existence of time had started to sound worried. And that, all things considered, started to make me worry. _I think, perhaps, we should be considering our options for flight._

"How bad is it?" I asked, wishing I still had emotions at this point, so I could properly start freaking out.

_We should start fleeing now,_ Lash informed me, a desperate hint of panic starting to form. _We should start fleeing most strenuously._

"Where?" I demanded of the voice in my head, not even bothering to feel awkward as even He Who Walks Behind started staring at me like I was crazy for doing so. "Lash, we have nowhere to go. We're locked out here now. We knew that when we started. Hell, even if we could go, I have nothing left Lash. That last attack was sort of all or nothing, and now we're at the 'nothing' phase of that kind of thing."

Despite my words, I was already starting to try to find options. The red thing in the sky, well, it was getting bigger. Rather quickly. Before it had been nothing but a sparkling dot, and now, it looked about the size of a quarter in comparison.

And it was getting bigger, very quickly. So whatever it was, it was probably very large, and moving very fast.

Even if I was the Winter Knight, I was still mostly mortal, and fairly squishy compared to some of the things out there.

_I do not know, my host,_ Lash informed me, her tone hard. I could almost feel the psychic parasite moving in my head, and it was most awkward. _I cannot think of any…_

She trailed off, and I paused. The red thing now looked big enough that I was able to make it out, and I was already starting to sweat.

A dragon. A genuine, lizard with wings, dragon. It was red, and scaled, and looked pissed.

And it was still getting bigger with every second. Which meant, considering it wasn't already here, that I was beginning to get a scope of its size.

I was waiting for someone to yell 'Godzilla!' and for a stream of panicking people to start running by.

"Lash, I know you pretty well by now," I told her, starting to back away, wondering if fleeing was the best idea or if I should hide and hope it doesn't see me. "When you trail off like that, you have an idea. But it's generally not a good idea. But the thing is, even a not good idea is more than having no idea. Because as it stands, I'm thinking 'open a hole out of Nevernever and hope that whatever is on the other side either is friendly or just kills me quickly' is a good option."

_Baring the fact that you have not the power or control left in you to do so, _Lash began dryly despite the situation, _we are currently beyond the Outer Gates, beyond even creation at this time. There is no way of knowing what would happen if you were to attempt to open a gate, or even if you would be able to. You could quite possibly destroy yourself completely with the attempt._

I paused for a moment before responding, "It's definitely Wednesday, isn't it. Stupid Wednesday." I went on, voice as serious as I could make it. "Lash, that dragon is getting closer. And it's big. As in really big. As in it currently is taking up about a quarter of the horizon, and it's still not here yet. Which indicates it's gonna get even bigger. And He Who Walks Behind, one of the strongest Knights of the Outside, is scared of it."

Lash was quite for a moment before she continued. _Well then. Opening a gate and hoping is it then._

"I knew you'd see it my way," I told her back with a small grin. The grin left quickly. "Though how I can do that when I'm so tapped…"

_My host, _Lash began in that tone she only ever used when she was about to suggest something that was Dresden-level stupid. _There is a way, to regain some of your power. Not enough to fight, but enough to maybe escape. _

"And you're not telling me it why?" I demanded, watching the dragon get even bigger. Its enormous jaws opened, and even from however far away we were, its roar shook me and the bones around me.

_There would be consequences to using it._

"Consequences worse than that?"

…_To begin with, open your mind to me. As a mortal, you will not be able to do this alone. I shall have to assist you directly._

At one point, opening my mind to Lash would have qualified as the stupidest and most suicidal thing I could ever consider. That was when she was still the shadow of a fallen, rather than the spirit with free will that I had helped her become. Now it would be no more dangerous than letting Bob in.

Scratch that. Less dangerous. This way I wouldn't wake up in the middle of an orgy or a strip bar wondering why I was in a tiger stripped thong and wearing a lamp shade.

"Let's gogogogogo-" I declared frantically. The dragon was nearly here, all crimson scales and flashing teeth, and oh GOD IT'S ENORMOUS!

_Now, Harry!_ Lash also seemed a bit anxious to be going. I felt… something. Something familiar but wrong, a power that seemed like I should recognize it but really couldn't, flooding through me.

That and pain. A deep, full body, throbbing and visceral pain. I was used to pain by now, all things considered, but still, this was an experience all its own.

With the dragon almost on me, I crossed my fingers, spat to the side for luck, and opened a portal to whatever lay beyond the Outside.

***Scene Break***

"Ow," I declared, opening my eyes before promptly closing them. It seemed the best way to describe what I was feeling at the moment, and considering wherever I was apparently liked lights a lot brighter than where I came from it was better to give me some time to adjust. "Did it work?"

_It seems so, my Host,_ Lash's voice was a comforting promise that things hadn't gone completely pear shaped. She was calmer now, and didn't seem worried currently. Well, she seemed worried, but not in the 'Big Dragon Coming At Us' kind of way. _In a way._

'When you end sentences like that, it kind of leads a man to be suspicious,' I told her cautiously, before opening my eyes again. If I was about to face down a screaming hoard of monstrosities in whatever hell we ended up it would be better to do be able to see them.

Instead, I found myself blinking as I took in a florescent light bulb.

The fact that I could actually identify what I was looking at, rather than being struck blind or insane by some lovecraftian monstrosity from beyond the Outside, was almost as disturbing as it was relieving. My eyes finally getting used to the light I started to examine the room. White walls and ceiling, hanging drapes, a machine with funny lines occasionally flickering across it…

'Am I in a HOSPITAL?' I had to ask Lash, unable to believe what I was seeing.

_Indeed, _Lash confirmed, _You have been unconscious for some time, most likely a combination of your own wounds and your use of power. When we were first approached, I was somewhat… surprised to find that the realm we had ended up in was so… similar. Disturbingly similar._

'You mean all that bracing for impact, and we ended up back on Earth?' I demanded, sudden panic striking through me. 'That's impossible! We sealed the Gates! There should be no way back! If the Outsiders can just get back in from where we were, than we have to warn…!'

_We are not back, my host,_ Lash whispered softly. I blinked, and realized that she sounded awed, frightened, more than a little out of depths. _For all its similarities, this is not creation. Rather, not the creation I was a part of… my host, I don't know…_

'Calm down, Lash,' I told her, though when a freaking Fallen Angel, a sentience older than the concept of time itself, than panic can get contagious. 'I mean look at this place. This has to be home. It's identical! How the hell can be anywhere else?'

_My host, the machine,_ Lash pointed out, and I glanced at it, still trying not to panic.

'What about it? It looks like its working fine…'

Even as I said the words, it hit me: the machine. It was working fine.

Sitting next to a wizard, presumably for a long period of time, and even when a wizard's emotions were starting to run wild.

The thing should have broken and started chirping Dixie a long time ago.

And then, as though to make things even more surreal, a nurse came. I stared at her. She looked… normal. Human. Hell's bells, she looked Asian! She was dressed in a standard nurse like outfit, with a clipboard, and even normal looking glasses. And when she gave me a startled look, before speaking, I realized that yes, she really was Japanese.

'Lash,' I began, and the redeemed angel's shadow spoke up.

_Of course, my host,_ she told me, and between one word and the next, she appeared to me as though she were speaking English.

Sometimes, the rent really was worth it when leasing brain space to a psychic apparition.

"Young man, can you understand me?" the nurse continued, and I nodded, answering back.

"Yeah…" glanced around, trying to understand this crazy scene. "I'm just a little confused…"

Then I paused.

"Young man?" I repeated, gawking at the title she had chosen for me. I was pushing forty at this point, and the only ones who called me young man anymore were the wizards who had been around for centuries and creatures with similar life spans that weren't trying to murder me, like Big Brother Gruff.

"I'm sure you must be confused," the nurse continued, leaning forward as she started to fiddle with some of the needles in my arm. "The doctor will be here shortly. We have many questions for you…"

She kept talking, but I stopped listening as her moving close enough let me catch sight of my reflection in her glasses.

'Lash,' I began slowly, staring at my reflection.

_I did say that there might be consequences,_ the stupid parasite not even having the grace to sound embarrassed at its amusement.

'THIS is a CONSEQUENCE?' I felt like pulling out my hair. 'How is this even possible!'

_It involves the misbalances of energies, typically referred to as ki or chi, and the imbalance between your physical and magic energies as caused by overuse of Soulfire…_

'English, Lash. English.' I really needed this to be summed up for me. 'Five words or less.'

_You turned into a teenager._

'That's six,' I told her, too stunned to think of any other response. I could see myself, and I was so… so…

Still so godamn tall! I looked like I did at sixteen, and I had got my growth spurt early.

'_Into', not 'in to', _Lash quibbled, and I graciously let it drop, knowing I had the moral victory there. _You should feel honored. This kind of occurrence can only occur among those who both have Soulfire, and a body. And the number of existences that have ever had both can be counted on one hand. With many fingers to spare._

'But I don't want to go through puberty again!' I moaned, startling the nurse as I flopped back onto the hospital bed. 'The hormones, Lash. The hormones!'

_I shall endeavor to do all I can to help aid you in this transition,_ she told me in an innocent tone. Too innocent.

'Lash.' I began slowly, remembering that the voice in my head had once been called the temptress. 'You're not going to visit me in my sleep, are you? You're not going to make me relive some of the most awkward moments of my life via wet dreams, are you?'

_My, what an amazing idea,_ she proclaimed as though she hadn't actually already thought of it. _Do not worry, my host. I shall do all I can to, how did you put it? Help pay rent?_

"Hell's bells," I mumbled, and the nurse gave me a strange look.

***Scene Break***

Japan. That's where I was. Not just some alternative dimension that through an impossible series of coincidences so outlandish that even that room of monkeys on typewriters would have to scoff at the chances resembled Japan, but a country that was nearly exactly identical to Japan of my home world.

Hell's bells. Even the whole WORLD was nearly exactly identical to my world. The languages, the cultures, all of it the same.

I even found a copy of both Star Wars and Star Trek here.

At least I was someplace civilized.

Well, there was one big difference I suppose.

Before I had arrived, there was no Harry Dresden here.

It had been a strange year so far, all things considered. I mean, if I was planning to suddenly appear in an entirely new world, I would have liked to done so incognito, to maybe make some money doing somewhat shady things before buying an identity and settling in to staying under the radar.

Considering I woke up in a hospital, and with a pretty extensive bill built up by that point, disappearing wasn't really an easy thing. Especially since I was now, you know, under the age of majority and all.

And yes. It really was as bad as the first time. Anyone who says 'youth is wasted on the young' is a freaking moron. Only the young don't know enough to know how bad they really got it.

It took me a while to work my way through the Japanese welfare system. Because of my looks and name, everyone at first thought I was an American citizen, which I agreed with wholeheartedly. However, whatever I wanted and everyone thought, it wasn't going to make the embassy accept someone who literally had no records existing. Without a single shred of proof of my citizenship, it had eventually ended with me officially becoming a Japanese citizen.

And no, I did not change my name to 'Hari'. No matter what the papers say, this man is a Chicago man to the core!

The Japanese social system ended up being a lot like the American one was in the end: stick the poor orphan somewhere and hope he doesn't get in trouble.

I got in trouble. A lot.

Eventually, after enough paperwork to deforest a significant portion of the Congo, I managed to get myself emancipated, though living on my own at this point meant 'going to school and trying to make the welfare check make ends meet'. It helped, a bit, that I was already an adult, and thus I had no trouble with school…

Er. Make that an adult who managed to get a G.E.D and could still remember vaguely that trigonometry had something to do with triangles.

I think.

Anyway. All things considered, despite being in another existence so far from my original that there was virtually no hope of me ever returning, and despite the fact that I was a grown man used to the independence that kind of thing entailed being forced to relive childhood, and even despite the fact that shopping for clothes in my size was proving to be absolutely impossible in a country where even the normal American seemed tall, I found myself, strangely enough, enjoying the experience.

It had been nearly a year and a half, and no one had seriously tried to kill me.

I'd almost forgotten what the experience was like. It was kind of boring, actually.

Anyway, after a series of long stories that all had sequels that eventually spanned trilogies of long stories, I found myself here, in a class room, staring at classmate who was giving me a confused look.

"What do you mean, you're a wizard?" the other boy asked, blinking owlishly at me.

"I mean, I'm a wizard," I sighed, already knowing how this conversation would go, and resigned to the inevitable conclusion. "As in, I use magic."

Like I said. Had to make ends meet somehow, right? And if something ain't broke, don't fix it. And thus, Harry Dresden, Consulting Wizard was born once more, now operating in two realities. Call now!

"Er," the other boy seemed confused, and I sighed again.

"Look," I paused, and it took a second before he realized I was waiting for him to supply a name.

"Oh! My name is Hyoudou Issei," the boy declared, bowing in the way that I never quite got used to doing myself. "It is a pleasure to meet you."

"Likewise," I told him, waiving off the normal pleasantries. He frowned at that, but I ignored it. "Anyway, I'm sure by now you heard the stories, and your friends managed to convince you to come over and try to tease me or something. In response to that, let me give you my card, you can pretend you got one over on me, and you and your buddies can all go off laughing into the night. Sound like a plan?"

"A card?" Issei sounded surprised, and then blinked again when I tossed one at him, again abandoning all formalities rather than butcher yet another bow while trying to be polite. "Dresden Harry; Wizard. Lost items found, paranormal investigations, consulting, advise, reasonable rates." He blinked at the last bit before staring at me. "So… you're some kind of priest or something?"

"Haven't found a god willing to take me, so no," I snorted. "It means that I do things just like what's on the card. If you have a lost item, or if something strange is happening, you can hire me to investigate and I'll look into it. If you have any other questions, I have a website…"

"Oh, here it is," Issei muttered, finding the URL at the bottom of the card.

I have a website. You have no idea how weird that is. I mean, nowadays apparently the yellow pages don't even exist, so how else am I going to advertise?

I'd discovered a lot of things different about this new world I was in. For everything that seemed identical, there was something off, sometimes just by a little and sometimes by a whole lot.

Technology for instance.

In my old world, there had always been a, well field or aura or something, that all practitioners had. In modern times it caused electronics to fritz occasionally, though in older times it had caused bad skin or occasionally made milk curl, sometimes caused hallucinations or something. The effect had changed over time, and no one ever really knew why. Here though…

For the first time ever, I was able to discover the glory of the internet, and I wept for all I had missed before.

And so now I, Harry Dresden, officially had a homepage. Now if I could just figure out how to keep flamers off it…

"So…" Issei continued, sounding hesitant for some reason. "Just what do you do then? As a wizard?"

"It varies," I shrugged, adjusting so that my legs weren't quite so mangled under the desk. The classroom's furniture was definitely not meant for someone my size. At least I always got to sit at the back of the class. If I sat up front, people behind me literally had trouble seeing the board. "Sometimes I just find things, like it says on the card. Other times, I'll get clients who have something going wrong. Sometimes it's something simple, other times it's actually something a bit more dangerous. Why? Do you want to hire me?"

I could be forgiven for being a bit eager at that point. I needed the cash. My current landlord was a lot less lenient then the one in my last world.

"Oh!" Issei actually seemed to be thinking about something for a moment, before he grinned. It was a pretty creeper style grin, and I was glad at the moment that I was a guy. "You know, I always wanted a harem…"

"Back of the card," I cut him off, sighing as I slumped onto my desk.

"No love potions, endless purses, parties or other entertainment," Issei obediently finished, and slumped as he got my point. "Man, than what good is being a wizard if you can't have a harem!"

"You raise many good points," I told him, head still on the desk. "You get kicked around by monsters, wear your fingers to the bones trying to help people, and you still can't get the chicks. Being a wizard is seriously less glamorous than Gandalf always made it look."

"So," Issei continued, and I glanced up at him as he sounded deep in thought. "You have Middle-School Syndrome?"

"Yeah. I think we're done now," I sighed, shooing the kid away. "You can keep the card. Call me if you ever want to hire me."

"Right, right," Issei seemed to sense he was reaching that point where I seriously began reaching for my staff in an effort to recreate the way I had smashed a Walker's nose in. "Well, you're a bit weird, but you seem like an okay guy," he grinned, and I paused, actually cocking my head to the side at the declaration. "If you ever, you know, want to have some fun, me and my friends know a good place to relax."

"Really?" I couldn't help but wonder if this, despite my best efforts to keep it from ever happening, could be my fabled so called 'high school debut', the point where the mundane people around me reached out to me and interacted, where I started to live a normal life, making friends who share my same interests and hobbies.

"Yeah," Issei grinned, leaning forward as he did so. "There's this place behind the Kendo Club where you can see right into the girl's changing room and…"

"Oh look!" I declared snapping a hand out to point at the front of the room, feeling my faith in humanity bleed away a little more. "Class is starting!"

***Scene Break***

"Dresden-kun," the voice that came from behind me invoked a response that was halfway between a bitter sigh of resignation and a smile of anticipation. "Dresden-kun, if you have a moment, there is something I'd like to speak to you about."

"Ah, Sona!" I declared cheerfully, turning to view my nemesis with very real cheer. "How have you been? My, you're looking quite lovely today? Is that a new brand of make up? The way it makes your eyes flash…"

"I do not wear makeup," the girl herself was unflappable in her response, though her cohort frowned, glaring at me as she did so. "Also, please address me by my appropriate title of 'Kaichou'."

"Of course, of course, Sona," I told her, smiling innocently down at her. "So, what can I do for you on this fine day? A movie and a dinner out? Maybe a walk in the park? Or perhaps something more romantic?"

"Dresden-kun, I am not, nor ever will be, interested in you romantically," Sona informed me bluntly, adjusting the frame of her glasses as she narrowed her eyes at me. "Please refrain from making such implication in the future."

"Ah, but you look so cute when you're angry," I told her with a cocky grin. "Your eyes get all flinty and your button nose gets all scrunchy. Like a little puppy…"

"Why you…!" the other girl present, the taller one started to burst out, only to be silenced as Sona gave her a brief look as well.

"Control yourself, Tsubaki," the President ordered her, and the taller Vice President, or 'Fuku-Kaichou' as they put it in these parts, of the Student Council grimaced, closing her mouth. "The provocations of misanthropes shouldn't be risen to."

There's a story to all of this. Kind of a funny one in retrospect.

Originally, I had come from another high school, a fairly respectable one albeit one that was a lot closer and cheaper. The thing was, that school had something of a bullying problem. I'm told it's pretty standard in Japanese schools, just the normal kind of shenanigans that kids get up to. The teachers did what they could to prevent it, but there was always some troubled or just stupid kid that felt the need to take out whatever was bothering them on whatever quieter or smaller kid caught their eyes.

Problem was, I don't really like bullies. So I did something about it myself.

One of those long stories I mentioned later, I was quietly and discreetly being thanked by the teachers and families of the victims, and also politely but firmly told to find a new school.

Hence, my transfer to this current institute of education: Kuoh Academy. It had been an all-girl school originally, and even now the male to female ratio was still heavily skewed towards the female, especially in the older years. Because of that, I was accepted despite my recorded history of violence, albeit reluctantly.

This school was also one of the few places I have managed to find where I've located actual proof of the occult in this new world.

That aside, my current interactions with the Student Council President actually started from a misunderstanding. Rumors of me getting into a lot of fights had started to spread pretty quickly through the school, and one of the students had approached me cautiously, asking me if I was a yankee.

Seeing as I was from Chicago, I had responded with a 'yes'. Turns out that in Japan, Yankee was slang for 'delinquent'. And also, apparently in Japan, there's a long standing tradition of Student Council Presidents attempting to reform delinquents.

"Ohhh," I hummed, sounding impressed. "Misanthrope. Sorry, that's such a big word. Can we tone it down a bit so I can follow the conversation?"

"Misanthrope: one who is a troublemaker or fails to conform to social conventions," Sona once more turned her shiny glasses back to me, coolly playing along with my teasing. "As in you, Dresden-kun."

"Ah, shucks, thanks Sona!" I told her, rubbing the back of my head as I feigned sheepishness. Her eyes narrowed even further, and I grinned.

I know I shouldn't be teasing her quite so hard. Actually, Shitori Sona as was her full name, was a hardworking and earnest young lady. She ruled the student body sternly but fairly, and was actually a rather respectable person.

Truthfully, she reminded me a lot of Murphy, and I couldn't help but liking her because of that. The thing was, she reminded me more of Murphy back when I had first met the small cop, rather than the close friends we had ended up becoming.

And because of that, I couldn't help but trying to get her to loosen up a bit. As a favor to the Murphy of old.

Also, I wasn't completely sure about this, but I don't think she was human. Because of that, I also tended to try and provoke her, mainly as a way to try and get a feel for just what she was.

Kind of a 'keep your friends close and your enemies closer' type thing.

"Dresden-kun," Sona continued, getting tired of our banter. "I have several things to discuss with you. For instance, your flagrant disregard for the dress code…"

"Haven't we gone over this before?" I reminded her, leaning back against the wall as I made myself comfortable. "I told you, it took a while for my school uniform to be made, and once I had a set I started wearing it…"

"Yes, a something I reluctantly take as your ability to follow the rules," Sona allowed, before glancing down slightly. "However, your use of unauthorized accessories has continued."

"And I've already given you the doctor's note," I reminded her, holding up my left hand, the glove I wore at all times creaking as I opened and folded it.

It was a strange thing, suddenly finding yourself in a body much younger than what you were used to. It was even stranger when that body still had all the scars you had managed to accumulate over the course of many, many battles. It had something to do with the way I had changed, my body not so much regressing backwards in time to before the scars happened but actually being changed in a process which ran concurrent with the time flow…

Er, Lash had explained it to me once, and it had made mostly sense at the time. Mostly.

Whatever the case, I had some pretty gruesome wounds over the years. There wasn't much I could do for the scars on my face, left there by a Yee Naaldooshi, but the scars on my hands I could at least cover. It hadn't been hard to get a doctor to genuinely give me a note either.

Japan wasn't a place that admired that kind of maiming. They much rather preferred to keep it out of sight.

"And just what kind of scar would a doctor actually prescribe covering?" Tsubaki broke in, eyes narrowed as she glared at me. She, like Sona, was a diligent young woman, and she took offense to my banter with her boss. She was someone who very much respected authority and the proper order of thing.

Me, as someone who respected neither, naturally ended up butting heads with her as well.

Also, pretty sure not human.

"Oh, my hand melted after I got in a fight with a vampire with a flamethrower," I told her with a straight face. Tsubaki blinked, before scowling as she assumed I was making something up.

Oh, if only that were true.

"Not to mention the large staff you insist on carrying around," Sona continued, grimacing as she looked at aforementioned stick.

"As a registered member of the Bo-jutsu club, it's natural that I would carry my practice tools between classes," I offered her patiently. Also true, and probably the most convenient excuse for keeping my staff around I had ever come across. In Japan, seeing practice weapons being carried around wasn't even that uncommon, a history of their long martial culture, and as long as I wrapped it first, no one cared about the long stick I lugged with me just about everywhere I could and a few places I probably couldn't.

"A member who had never once shown up for practice…" Sona pointed out.

"Ghost member is still member," I shot back.

"And instead spends all their time in the track club, though refuses to participate in interschool events…"

"I just like to run, and I think competition is unhealthy among students." I was a firm believer in running. It was an essential skill when you come face to face with something that can physically crush you like a beer can with one hand.

"And that's not including the most ridiculous claims of being a 'Wizard' of all things," Sona's eyes flashed, and I felt my own narrow at her tone.

_She knows something, my host,_ Lash agreed softly with what my own instincts were telling me.

"What can I say? I've known from a young age what I want to be when I grow up, and I have no problems starting early," I told her evenly, before smiling impishly. "Shouldn't the Student Council President be doing all she can to encourage the ambition of her fellow students who have chosen their life paths?"

Tsubaki snorted slightly, having that look that only someone who was initiated into something secret could have when they were talking to someone they thought wasn't in the know. It didn't really work when the person they were talking to really was in the know, though I'll admit that I wasn't quite as in the know now that I was in a world completely alien to my own. Still in the know enough to know that I knew more than most know.

And man, that last sentence was kind of repetitive vocabulary wise.

"It is the Student Council President's duty to ensure the safety of the student body, regardless of how disreputable any particular student might be," Sona declared, shifting her glasses as she gave me a cool look. "And making foolish and childish claims like being a wizard indicate that I shall need to be especially careful about your safety, Dresden-kun; regardless of your misanthropy. I do not want to find any more of these juvenile pranks among the student populace," she held up one of my business cards from the tip as though it were a dirty thing she had picked up off the floor. "Any threat to the school will not be tolerated."

And the funny part was, I believed her. Not in taking the 'not be tolerated' line as some kind of oblique threat to get me to stop handing out my business cards, but rather the 'any threat to the school will not be tolerated' as in she will not allow anyone in this place to come to harm.

It was one of the reasons that I was willing to interact with her at all, despite my suspicion of her being something inhuman. Whatever she was, she valued the safety of this school strongly, considered it her duty to enforce and protect the peace, regardless of how the public might think of her.

Like I said. She reminded me of Murphy. In the good way.

She was also pretty short, which helped reinforce the impression.

"Noted, Prez," I told her, giving her a crooked grin. She glared at me at the abbreviation of her title, but I turned with a waive, making sure to shake my staff conspicuously as I did so. "Now, I guess it's time for me, despite my misanthropic nature, to head off to club. Later!"

Just because I like her didn't stop me from having my will ready and focused to stop an attack on my back. But that was just the kind of general paranoia that had kept me alive through a war rather than anything personal.

***Scene Break*  
**_Harry Dresden, the Winter Knight, wielder of Soulfire, champion of the realms, Bane of the Outside,_ Lash sounded amused for some reason. _A host of power and action, a creature of defiance so profound even the fallen can be swayed by it. And this is what you do on the weekends._

'Why Lash, are you trying to imply something?' I asked back dryly, already knowing but playing innocent anyway.

_You are such a nerd, Harry,_ Lash told me with a soft laugh. I shrugged.

'Actually, out here in Japan, it's called "Otaku",' I corrected her, making no move to defend myself of the accusation; if the shoe fits, after all.

I'd never really been the partying type, after all. I mean, why spend a perfectly good night out on the town, getting drunk and making bad choices, when you can spend that kind of time at home, with a good book, reading quietly?

Thomas was the wild one in the family. I got enough crazy from my job.

Back in the reality I came from, I had mostly preferred reading, though sometimes I would make trips to the drive through, the only place I could really watch a movie without worrying about accidently causing the projector to spontaneously combust. I'd also spend my time playing with my giant man-toy, er, important wizarding device that was Little Chicago. Regardless of what Bob said, it was still an important magical tool.

Now, though, now that I was out here in a world where I could actually utilize electronics, my inner nerd had only blossomed. Especially in such close proximity to Akihabera, the mecca of all who enjoyed their geeky hobbies.

It was cool. It was the new millennia. It was totally okay to come out of the geek closet these days.

_And you wonder why it is you always seem to come up short when it is time for rent,_ Lash sighed, still sounding amused.

'They're do it yourself models of both the Millennia Falcon AND the Death Star!' I pointed out dramatically, shaking the bags that held my loot. 'Do you have any idea how hard it is to find models of anything besides Gundams these days?'

Japan was cool and all, and anime and visual-novels are great, but some things are just the classics, and the classics never die.

_Naturally I do in fact have an idea. I simply do not care,_ Lash deadpanned.

'Philistine,' I told her with great panache. Then, I blinked, realizing that the short cut through the park I was using had brought me to someone I recognized. 'Hey, isn't that the Ichi kid?'

_Hyoudou Issei,_ Lash corrected me and I nodded, still staring.

'Is it just me, or is that kid actually on a date?' I asked, having trouble believing my eyes. I mean, this was the kid that invited me to go peeping, and if rumors were correct was one of the three most perverted students in all of Kuoh.

_It appears so,_ Lash commented carelessly, obviously not in the least bit interested in the on goings of mortals outside of her host.

I on the other hand, couldn't help but feel happy for the kid. Stars and Stones, maybe if the kid actually got into a real relationship it'll help calm down those rampant hormones.

Oh god, the hormones.

'Well, I guess there really is someone for everyone,' I decided, and began to take a detour to avoid interrupting the kid's fun time, when something blared through me, something I hadn't sensed in a long time.

Danger. It was there, at the edge of my senses, a knowledge that came partly through having lived through countless battles, and partly due to predatory instincts that Winter had instilled in me.

_My host,_ Lash began, but it was too late. Even as the instincts hit me, there was a flash of light, a streak of something bright, and the entire scene in front of me changed.

Where once there had been an innocent looking girl, dressed like a teen on a date, there was now a more mature woman, dressed in slutty lingerie and with black wings growing out of her back. And where once there had been a normal boy, happily enjoying the trials of his youth and adventures in dating there was simply a corpse, a human body that had been penetrated by a sharp spear of light.

It was that quick. That was how fast the living became the dead, how unfair the world was. With no more than a blink of an eye, safety could vanish, and a future could be robbed.

I knew all that. Even if things had been peaceful for so long, it was something I never really forgot, something that never really could be unlearned.

But as I stood there, the two bags holding my swag slipping out of my fingers, it didn't change the fact that it pissed me off.

It pissed me off a lot.

"Oh?" the winged thing in front of me drawled, and I glared at her as she casually stepped over the boy she had casually murdered. "A witness? Well, that won't do at all. Too bad for you, boy. If you must blame anyone, blame yourself for being in the wrong place at the wrong time."

"And if you have to blame anyone," I growled at her, reaching for the staff at my back as I grit my teeth. "Blame yourself for thinking you can prey on humanity any time without consequence."

"How adorable," she laughed haughtily. Another of those spears of light appeared. "As though a lesser existence like yourself could do anything."

I actually enjoyed it when the spear impacted my shield and the thing's eyes snapped open in shock.

"Forzare," I told her back, pointing my staff, and she screamed when the wave of power, fueled by my pure rage at this creature's arrogance, slammed into her, threw her back across the park, and ended up soaking her as she destroyed the fountain she had been standing in front of.

'What is it, Lash?' I demanded tersely, already sprinting forward, all those long hours of running being put to good use as I dashed forward and to the side.

_I'm uncertain,_ the shadow admitted, sounding apologetic. _I'm not certain of the species that might exist in this realm. From its wings, I would say it some sort of harpy, or perhaps of the fey, but be careful._

'I suppose we can ask it after I break its wings,' I decided, readying my staff again.

"A magician?" the thing shrieked, pulling out of the water, soaking wet and looking pissed. "You think you're paltry magic is enough to stop me, Raynare of the Grigori?"

"Yes," I told her, and the thing started, realizing as the water drained around her eyes that she was shouting towards the wrong direction. "Infriga!"

Now don't get me wrong. When it comes to battle magic, I still hold fire as the all-time best of the elements. It has pure destructive power, as well as the ability to help purify dark magic. Plus, there was just something primal, something evolution put deep in us that makes us unconsciously fear fire, to flinch from it knowing that if we get too close we will be burned. However, ever since I took the mantle of Winter Knight, ice had started coming just as naturally to me, and had rapidly moving up my list of combat ready skills.

And when all the water that was soaking the harpy girl down suddenly froze, holding her in place while sapping her strength, that was just an added benefit. Her startled shriek was cut off as I took advantage of her captured status to swing my staff like I was trying for a home run directly across her skull.

The meaty thunk it made when it connected was satisfying, but I frowned when it did little more than send her stumbling, a stumble that she recovered from all too quickly as she leapt up, proving that whatever bird girl was she was tougher than a normal human was.

One of these days, I swear: a monster or creature that slithers in the night that is actually physically weaker than a human. I will find it. I will make it my pet. I will name it George.

"You," bird girl, Raynare I think she called herself, hissed at me, clutching the side of her head as a trickle of blood leaked down, a livid bruise already starting to blacken nicely. I could see her eyes though, and she didn't look like she was concussed. "You dare? You dare raise hands against me, you human?"

"Of course," I told her flatly. "You see, as a card carrying member of the human race, I, naturally, have to take exception to seeing one of my own being attacked." I paused, and continued with a small grin. "And it was a staff."

"What?" the thing asked, straightening as she glared at me.

"I 'raised staff against you'," I told her, grinning. "What can I say? Walk around like that and of course you're going to give someone wood."

"Impudent dog!" Raynare snapped, glaring even harder, though she did move as though to cover herself. Hey, you walk around like that, you either have a whole lot of self-confidence, a complete lack of sense of decency, or you're looking for attention. And I didn't mind giving that attention if that's the case.

See above mention about hormones.

"Good," I declared, nodding firmly even as I gathered my will. "I was worried I hadn't hit you hard enough, but if you're already forgetting that you already identified me as human and started to hallucinate that I'm a dog, it shouldn't be too hard to finish you off."

"Shut up!" Raynare screamed, and I tensed as another spear of light appeared. Still screaming she threw it at me.

"Fuego!" I shouted, slamming will into my rod and the light met with a potent blast of fire, the force of the two canceled each other out, a shockwave shaking the leaves of the trees around us.

"So," Raynare scowled, still glaring at me, as a lull settled over the battlefield. It looked like the fact that I wasn't some scared dumb kid who had never had to fight for his life was enough to make her hesitate to actually engage. "You have some power in you after all."

"Ah, not so eager to fight against someone who can fight back?" I mocked her, running more will through my staff as I got ready. Aerial opponents were always tricky. When you could move in three dimensions instead of two it made it a lot easier to juke, so aiming became a lot less precise. I started to get ready some of my more large range attacks. "What a surprise: a so called 'superior being' who's really not that superior."

"You dare speak to me in that way?" the harpy thing declared, snarling furiously.

"Ah, I was wondering if the wings were just for show. Looks like I can chalk up 'bird brain' as well if you're having trouble remembering our conversation so far. It's going something like this: I'm kicking your ass. Did that help?"

"Why… you… impudent... mongrel…!" Really. This was actually feeling a bit too easy at this point. I was used to creatures that weren't used to being trash talked getting riled up easily, but whatever this bird girl was, she was definitely not used to this kind of banter.

The size of the new spear of light she was making was definitely a sign that I was getting to her. I tried not to let it show as I grit my teeth to start pulling in my will.

Then the bird girl seemed to realize something, and her scowl grew as the spear of light disappeared. I realized that she wasn't looking at me anymore, but rather behind me.

I didn't look to check. Come on. I wasn't born yesterday. But I did ready my will and strain my ears to be ready just in case there really WAS something behind me.

"Hmph," the harpy glared back at me, before throwing her head back haughtily. "I see I'll have to cut this short. Count yourself lucky, mortal. If we meet again I will destroy you."

"Just in case you didn't notice you bird-brain, I was winning!" I declared in exasperation as in front of my eyes the harpy disappeared, vanishing in a cloud of feathers and glimmering light.

I didn't take my eyes off of where she had been, but I did start to back away until I could keep my eyes on it and see what was behind me.

And was somewhat surprised to find it was a hot chick. Like, a really hot chick.

And I recognized her.

And she was standing above Issei.

"Ah, is that you, Rias-senpai?" I asked, still holding my staff in a ready position as I watched the other girl. I recognized her, one of the school idols or something that popped up when someone was pretty, popular, and not jerk. She was beautiful in a way which my poor, beleaguered teenage body couldn't help but notice: gorgeous features, eye-catching red hair, and voluptuous body.

Don't get me wrong. She wasn't 'Lara' class. But she was close.

And also, I was pretty sure that whatever she was, she had more in common with Sona than me when it came to species.

Still wasn't sure what that was.

"'Rias-senpai'?" aforementioned girl mused, sounding amused at the same time. By Japanese standards it was a pretty informal way of addressing her, using her given name, even if I tacked on an honorific. She was kneeling next to the fallen Issei, and I realized with a start that despite the massive wound he had taken he was still alive. I could make out the rise and fall of his chest, and it looked like the wound was a lot smaller than I had thought it was.

'Idiot,' I cursed myself. 'Getting so swept up with the fight that you stop to think about whether or not there was something you could do to for the victim! Idiot!'

_Host,_ Lash began softly. _It is not that the wound was not so great, but rather that it is smaller now. Look…_

There, as though I was looking at two different scenes at once, an image of Issei when I first saw him get stabbed appeared. It was in the corner of my vision, like one of those old 'second screen in the corner of your TV' gimmicks that I vaguely remembered. But I could still make it out, and yes, it really was a smaller wound.

"I had heard that you were an overly casual yankee," Rias continued, sounding amused as she listed my reputation. "And that you had a tendency to get violent. And that you had Middle-School Syndrome…"

"Oh come on," I grumbled. "Why can't I get rumors like 'tall dark and handsome' or 'big old nice guy' or something?"

Rias blinked at my interruption, and then giggled a bit, covering her mouth as someone finally reacted to my jokes like they were actually funny. I blame television, warping the minds of the young so that they couldn't see real humor. "I see your sense of humor hasn't been exaggerated at least!"

Despite myself, I grinned softly. I didn't put my rod down though. "Finally, someone with some taste."

"Thank you," Rias beamed a smile at me, still looking pleased at my jibe. Her smile narrowed slightly, taking on a sly cast. "Still, to think that you were actually a magician…"

"Why is that a surprise?" I couldn't help but sigh at the declaration, shaking my head in befuddlement. "I have business cards for Pete's sake! They say, right on them: Dresden Harry: Wizard. You really can't get much more obvious than that."

Rias actually paused at that, frowning. "You know, you're right," she finally admitted, sounding bemused again. "You really can't." Her eyes narrowed as she frowned, giving me a considering look. "Hiding in plain sight?"

"Those who don't know, won't take it seriously," I nodded my own smile slipping. "But then again, those who know don't either." I sighed. "But those not in the know who are really that desperate will give it a shot. Eh. It's worked so far."

"I see," Rias frowned, though it was more contemplative than upset. I think I had confused her with my answer. She gave me a contemplative look. "But from what I've seen, you are no stranger to combat…"

I didn't quite like the look she was giving me. It was something measuring, and slightly intrigued.

It looked like someone who was planning something. I'd seen it enough to know that nothing good would come of it.

"Rias-senpai," I decided to interrupt, aiming for friendly but probably coming off as 'forced polite'. "If you don't mind me asking, what are you doing to Issei?" She blinked, before looking down at the kid she was still standing next to. "Because, and I don't want this to sound antagonistic or anything but I can't think of a better way to put it: if you're planning to do anything bad to him, I'm afraid I will have to blast you into the fountain too."

Rias blinked. Than she did it again. Then, in what I hoped was a good sign, she started to giggle again. It was good, cheerful sound, not the ominous type.

"Ah! Dresden-kun! So you were fighting for Issei-kun, is that it?" she beamed a smile at me, and then, off all things, curtsied. "Thank you very much for your valiant effort on behalf of my peerage." She smiled up at me, and again, I kinda got a shudder out of it. A look like that from a girl that looked like that was enough for anyone my apparent age to have to shift awkwardly and not stand up in class for a few minutes. "I shall remember this."

"Peerage?" I cautiously pushed, eyes narrowing. "Just what are you, Rias-senpai?"

There. The question. Out in the open, no room for wiggling. I could get a lot out of how she answered. If she dodged I could probably attribute her to the Fey. If she lied, she was mortal. And if she told the truth, well…

I'm pretty sure I'm not sure how to handle someone who told the truth. It was just so rare I didn't have a heuristic method to attribute it to.

"I am Gremory Rias, a devil," she told me with another curtsey. My blood went cold. My grip on the staff tightened, and I suddenly regretted taking the time to talk to the thing in front of me. I should have blasted her the moment she stepped in front of me. "I thank you for defending my newest pawn. I will now go see to his health. Good day, Dresden-kun."

"Sto-" I began to shout, but couldn't make it in time even as I aimed to take the head off the demon who had just taken an innocent young boy with a glimmer of light.

Alone, in the park, the wood of my staff creaked beneath my grip.

_Harry,_ Lash began softly, trying to calm me down.

'Lash,' I responded, the perfect picture of calm.

_You should really think about taking a few moments to consider things,_ Lash advised me, though she sounded resigned.

'Yes. Calm. Calm is what I am. I am made of calm. Calm is the little mind killer, and I shall let it pass through me.' I told her.

_Just don't start a war again, Harry._

'No promises, Lash.'

I was a little upset at this point. I had just missed the chance to stop some harpy thing from killing an innocent young man. And then, a devil had apparently taken advantage of that fact to damn some poor innocent soul.

The smell of sulfur came from my staff. The runes I had spent hours, days even, carving into it, glowed with venomous light. Maybe it was hypocritical, but it could also be considered poetic, but Hellfire coursed through my tool.

I was about to go do something about above mentioned situation.

But before I left, I did stop to pick up some of the feathers that the harpy had left behind.

I was a wizard, after all.

***Scene Break***

The next day had progressed surprisingly well, all things considered.

Not one building had burned down yet. Day still wasn't over, but hey, nothing yet. That's a win in my book.

It wasn't a surprise to me when at lunch Sona approached me. After all, she had never made it a secret that she considered getting me to follow the rules to be a personal crusade that she wouldn't forsake even in the face of rampant smart-assedry, and I the fact that I was blatantly wearing my duster and a new necklace laced with black feathers wasn't something you could really miss.

It was the way she approached me that was unusual.

"Dresden Harry-san," she began, and rather than sounding disapproving I noticed that her voice cautious, and a little bemused.

"Shitori-san," I answered back coldly, turning to address her directly. No way in hell, and man that pun will get old, am I turning my back on a devil. The School Council President was being accompanied by the Vice-President, as usual, and both of them seemed surprised by my formal address.

Tsubaki especially seemed confused. The normally antagonistic expression she wore when dealing with me was gone, and a cautious uncertainty was present instead. It looks like the other devil had clued them in that yes, the stick was more than a fashion accessory.

"I would like to speak with you privately," Sona continued slowly after she got over the fact that I could actually be polite. Well, I could use polite phrases while doing very little to hide my hostility otherwise. "Do you have a moment?"

"Yes," I told her, standing from my desk. Sona pursed her lips slightly, looking up at me as I loomed over her. I tended not to try and make a big deal about my height in everyday life, but I wasn't above using it when I was doing business. As though something like height would actually affect a devil, a creature that had existed since before the beginning of time, that had spent eons perfecting the art of manipulation, and probably had enough power and skill to crush me with the same effort it took me to blink. "I think it's time we had a talk."

Sona grimaced even more, and I got the impression that this conversation wasn't going quite like she had anticipated at all. It was probably an impression she meant for me to have, so I didn't let it dissuade me in the least.

***Scene Break***

I had to give the Student Council one thing: they had the bitchenest meeting room ever. Seriously, this was the kind of thing you'd find for the President of some international company rather than a school. The Council Room was big, and it had the kind of furniture you'd expect to see with price tags larger than a salaryman's annual income. I was pretty sure that the wood here was all either mahogany, oak, and perhaps unsurprisingly ebony.

Since all of those types of wood burned easily enough, it wasn't too much in the way of a detriment.

There were also pillars set about the spacious room, looking like they were made out of granite, as well as shiny polished tiles and expensive throw rugs.

It was swank, and I wasn't jealous in the least when comparing it to my cramped one room apartment. I had throw rugs too, and mine had vintage anime prints, so there!

The room had been mostly empty when we entered, just another boy, a blond that fit the image of a Japanese yankee a bit more traditionally than I did, and a girl that looked like she was probably a first year. Both of them gave me the same vibe that Rias and Sona had given, so I chalked them up as devils as well and made sure to keep them in view at all times.

"President!" the boy yelped, sounding surprised but happy. "I was just finishing the report you wanted. I thought you were…" he trailed off as he caught sight of me, eyes narrowing as he frowned.

"Saji," Sona greeted the other boy, with a nod. "My apologies for interrupting, but would you stay on hand for a moment. I may require you during this meeting."

"Of course, President," the newly identified devil nodded eagerly. "But isn't that the delinquent with Middle-School Syndrome that you've been…"

"Does everyone in the school think that?" I couldn't suppress an annoyed groan. "I mean, I'm pretty damn obvious, all things considered. And since you all are devils I'm pretty sure you guys at least would know that yes, there are mortals out there than can handle the mystic powers of the universe."

"Wait," Saji began, blinking and looking confused. "You mean…"

"Yes," Sona agreed, having taken her place behind a super expensive looking desk, and adjusted her glasses. "It turns out that Dresden-kun is really a magician as he claims."

"But," Saji protested giving me a surprised look. "But he gives out business cards!"

"It's all part of my super-secret strategy," I told him dryly. "Utilizing reverse psychology, no one would ever suspect the tall, mysterious, and dastardly good looking foreign boy with a staff of actually being a tall, mysterious, dastardly good looking wizard. You've fallen for my trap, mwahahaha."

I didn't really laugh, but more just kind of said the evil laughter flatly.

"It seems you have no issues with modesty or self-image," Sona noted with a small frown, and I shrugged.

"My modesty is one of my redeeming qualities, along with my rapier wit," I threw back, and Sona snorted slightly, though she quickly covered the fact that she would ever deign to do something so meager up. The other girl in the room, the one I still didn't have a name for giggled slightly, and I was a bit annoyed by the fact that so far it was only devils that apparently appreciated my unique brand of humor.

"Banter aside," Sona cut off the girl' giggles, just as serious as ever as she adjusted her glasses. I know she planned the way they caught the light, and I had to give her points for showmanship, even if she ripped that right out of anime clichés. "Since it has come to light that your status as a magician is in fact real, and that you have some experience in combat, I had hoped to come to an understanding with you in regards to how we shall proceed in the future."

"Yeah, and just how is that going to go again?" I asked her, willing to let her lead the conversation. It would help me figure out what the creature was really after.

"To be blunt, I was hoping to invite you to my peerage," Sona declared, and Tsubaki gave her a quick look as Saji gaped.

"President, you can be serious!" the other boy declared pointing a finger at me as he shouted at Sona. "This Yankee? In your peerage?"

"Be quiet, Saji," Sona declared bluntly, and the boy winced and shrank down. "He had the proficiency to match a fallen angel in combat, and would have been the victor if Rias is correct in her assessment. And as a magician, he would bring valuable skills to the Rating Game."

"Fallen?" I repeated, eyes narrowed as chill went through me. How? How had this devil known about Lash? It had happened beyond the Outer Gates! There was no conceivable way she would have known about my encounters with the Denarii!

"The opponent you fought yesterday, the one that attacked Hyoudou-kun," Sona elaborated, narrowing her eyes and seeming confused by my confusion. I hated it when confusion became a self-sustaining circle like that. Then her words hit me.

"That was a fallen?" I deadpanned, voice absolutely flat as I tried to put her words into any kind of meaningful structure of my knowledge of the fallen. "As in a fallen angel, a creature older than time, who quit God's service in rebellion when Lucifer was cast down, and works to destroy all of creation in an eternal grudge against it?"

_I am suddenly rather interested in this conversation,_ Lash chimed in, and it was no surprise that the former shadow of the fallen herself seemed less than amused at the claim that the harpy thing we had fought yesterday was in anyway considerable as kin to her.

"That is… the definition as found in the bible," Sona finally offered cautiously, cocking her head to the side as she studied me. "Though it is somewhat archaic and prone to embellishment. Dresden-kun, are you perhaps less familiar with the three powers than I had anticipated?"

"I had a really isolated upbringing," I offered, trying not to show my embarrassment. I was supposed to be a Magus, one of the wise. Having to have a devil of all people explain the hidden powers that were made me feel like Han Solo in the world of the Jedi again. I hated that feeling. "Why don't you educate me? And what's a peerage?"

That's twice now a devil had mentioned the word in my presence, and so far I wasn't liking the implications.

"A guy like this is really getting an offer from the President?" Saji muttered glaring at me for some reason. He grimaced and shut up when Sona gave him another look, folding his arms and muttering to the side.

"The three powers, the Angels, the Devils, and the Fallen, were at war ever since they came into creation," Sona started to explain for me, and the fact that she had implied that the three existences which should predate time itself ever had a point where they were created was enough to already lead me to doubt her. "Eventually, after a long war, when even the Satans were killed, an uneasy cease fire started among the three. With so many casualties that the continued existence of all three of the races was in doubt, no one was willing to resume hostilities."

_The Satans?_ Lash sounded just as uneasy as I at both the implication that there were multiple Prince of Darknesses out there, and the implication that they were killed as well. It was somewhat reassuring that even the shadow was out of her depths.

"During that time of peace, one of the Satans, Ajuka Beelzebrub, came up with what is known as the Evil Pieces system," Sona continued, pulling out a chess piece from one of the drawers. I took it in carefully. It was dark red, and it felt… felt like it had some kind of power in it, but I was just too unfamiliar with this worlds magical systems to make heads or tails with it. "With this piece, high class devils could change other species into devils themselves, and have them as their servants."

"Servants?" my blood ran cold. Yesterday, Rias had said something about 'the newest member of her peerage'. The implication that the devil had not only taken but enslaved the kid was starting to make me feel less than happy and peaceful. "You make others into your slaves?"

"It is not quite like that," Sona sounded a little hesitant, as though she wanted to refute my claim but was having trouble doing so. "Though there are some devils that treat their peerages in that way, the underworld wanted more than just slaves. We are seeking to replenish our forces, and in order to inspire new devils to grow stronger, if they reach the appropriate rank they too can receive their own evil pieces after they become high class devils."

I was having trouble not gawking as the devil continued. That and not freaking out. What she was describing…

Sona seemed to understand that whatever response I was having to her explanation, it wasn't the one she was hoping for. She sounded hurried as she continued. "As a young devil myself, I have not yet completed my peerage, though the ones present are in fact members." As though on cue, in front of my disbelieving eyes, everyone in the room but me grew wings. As in actual wings. Spiny twisted bat like things that looked more like spikes that lacked any sort of webbing between them. "When I heard of your prowess, I decided to make you an offer to join my peerage as well. With a wizard, many tactics will be open to me when it comes time to compete in the Rating Games. Dresden-kun…"

"Stop right there, hell tart," I interrupted flatly.

"H-hell tart?" Tsubaki stuttered, sounding shocked and outraged at how I had addressed her master.

"Why you…!" Saji seemed similarly enraged and started to pace towards me with his fists clenched.

He stopped when a concentrated ball of fire appeared in my hand, my 'little ray of sunshine' spell causing him to tense.

"Don't make me destroy you," I told him bluntly. He flinched, eyes wide as he stared at the miniature sun I had conjured. Guess he didn't expect that to happen.

"Saji!" Sona had risen from her seat, hands on her desk as she stood poised to move. She looked tense, but unsure of how to respond.

"You. You mean to tell me that you, an agent of hell, who exists to corrupt and damn humanity, a devil, are in the process of restoring hell's army so you can continue you war on God. That you are corrupting and damning innocent students of this academy, enslaving them to your will to do your bidding and fight in your name. And you want me to join up with you. Willingly. That's, that's pretty much what you are saying. Right?"

Saji gaped at me, suddenly looking very confused, and the other girl whose name I still hadn't caught had turned pale. Tsubaki turned to glance at Sona with a very awkward expression on her face. Sona herself grimaced. "Nowadays it's not quite like that," she began, sounding slightly pained at my summary. "With the ceasefire, it is less to do with improving our armed forces, and more to do with ensuring our species survives. The most conflict a devil or their servants would likely encounter is the Rating Games, and even if they are considered servants, it's not exactly like slavery…"

"Wow," I narrowed my eyes, still holding my ball of sunshine even though it looked like Saji wasn't going to try something to me. "A devil telling me that being damned wouldn't be so bad. Where have I heard that one before?"

_To be fair, you never did let me explain what we intended,_ Lash pointed out dryly. The shadow was paying attention herself, and I refrained from talking with her further. She would get her own impressions of the scenes as well, and she'd serve as a good second opinion after we had a chance to review what had happened later.

"I mean, am I really expected to believe that load of bull?" I went on, and Sona seemed even more pained as I ripped into her. "Oh, wow, a devil, telling me it's not what I think. As though I'd trust a species that's pretty much built out of lies and temptation. Do you think I was born yesterday? That's adorable. You're just so cute I want to pick you up and put you in my pocket.

"D-don't talk to the President like that!" Saji demanded, and though he still looked nervous about potential incineration, he also sounded outraged enough at my words to risk it anyway as he tried to defend his master.

"Saji, that's enough," Sona told him with a sigh. She looked disappointed, but unsurprised. "From his perspective, he has said nothing wrong. There are some who will not trust us no matter what."

"President," Tsubaki murmured softly, looking upset that her master seemed unhappy.

I upped my danger rating on the devil sitting in front of me. If I didn't know she was a creature from, hell attempting to damn me, I would have thought she was just a young lady who had had her feelings hurt by being rejected rudely. It sort of reminded me of Rosanna, with that whole 'lady of misfortune' air around her.

And I still thought Rosanna was full of shit too.

"Though it is disappointing, it seems that negotiations have failed," Sona continued, giving me an even look as she recovered her composure.

"Wow, you figured that out all on your own?" I shot back, still scowling. Okay, maybe now I was just being rude, but I couldn't help but feel an irrational surge of spitefulness at the creature. It was because… "I can't believe I actually believed you when you said you were concerned about the safety of this school."

And that, I think, was probably the reason that I was acting up so much here. I had honestly thought that whatever she was, she was at least something that cared enough for humanity to look after it. Finding out that she was a devil, that instead of looking out for the school because it was the right thing to do, she was just preserving the flock for her own purposes, keeping the sheep at hand for when she felt like sheering kind of pissed me off.

"That's not true!" the still unnamed girl interjected, and despite the fact that she hadn't been too assertive until now she sounded genuinely outraged at me having called her master's bluff. "President…!"

"The safety of the school is my paramount concern," Sona interjected, and she had risen, putting both hands on the table as she glared at me like she did whenever she was trying to get me to straighten up and follow the school rules.

"And how can I believe you when you say that?" I shot back, and she scowled at me, the most emotional I had seen her pretty much ever. "If that's true, than I don't suppose we'll have any further trouble, will we? However, if I hear that you laid even one finger on any of the students, if you hurt even one mortal, in the school or not, then I'll be coming back. And I won't be so polite that time."

We glared at each other from across the room, before Sona gave a brief nod as she studied me closely, apparently realizing something while she did so. Despite my threat, she started to smile slowly.

"Then I suppose that's all we need to discuss, isn't it Dresden-kun," she declared, sinking back down to sit, her composure returning.

"I'll see myself out," I said in response, letting my sunshine disappear. Without turning my back, I opened the door and left. "Later, Prez."

***Scene Break***

_Well,_ Lash noted. _At least the building isn't on fire. I suppose that was more than I was hoping for._

'I don't burn every building, you know,' I told her back patiently.

_Just the ones you get in a fight in?_

'Exactly,' I nodded, glowering at the ground in front of me. It was after school now, and I was sitting in the bleachers, going over how my day went. The track team was doing their laps, but I had declined to join this time, citing ill health. 'If I ever find the person who started that rumor, I swear I'm going to light them on fire.'

_That will show them the errors of their ways, no doubt,_ Lash quipped, before sighing. Between one second and the next, I wasn't alone on the bleacher. Well, I was still technically alone, in the eyes of everyone else. Only I could see the tall athletic blonde woman sitting beside me, stretching in a way which would have cause some of the male joggers nearby to trip if they could perceive her.

She did that on purpose, damn her.

_My host,_ Lash continued, and though the illusions mouth moved I still heard her voice in my head like normal. _Was there anything about that conversation that seemed odd to you?_

'I just got finished hearing from the legions of the damned themselves that they are actively recruiting in order to restart a war on heaven,' I answered back, still scowling. 'So no. That's pretty much just how my life goes. Nothing odd here.'

_True,_ Lash agreed and I sighed. Why, oh why, couldn't that conversation had been odd? Why was my life so, so, so Dresden-esque? Why was that a word I had coined as a synonym for FUBAR? _But there was much there that intrigued me._

'I'll say,' I admitted, still scowling. 'I feel like I'm trying to tread water with cement shoes on trying to make sense of that conversation.' I gave her a quick look. 'Why don't you hit the highlights, and we'll see how much we're thinking alike.'

_Very well,_ Lash held up her hand, and started counting off on her fingers. _First off, the implication that the fallen, devils, and angels, were ever anything less than pillars of creation._

'Yeah, that's a good spot to start,' I agreed shivering at that very, very important implication.

In my world, the thing next to me was the shadow of the Fallen Lasciel. She was an angel, an incarnation of the forces that created reality, an extension of the will of the Creator, of God, empowered to symbolize an aspect of creation that had rebelled against her own purpose. She had been cast down to hell, stripped from heaven, and eventually ended up in one of the thirty pieces of silver that Judas had received to betray the son of god. She could only tempt those who had picked up that coin, offering them more of her power at the price of their souls, and only if the mortal chose to make that exchange.

It was a far cry from some kinky lingerie model with crow wings. And if everything I had heard today wasn't bullshit, that's precisely what the fallen were considered here in Bizzaro world.

I'm feeling a little bit underwhelmed comparing the two.

It was the same for devils, and demons. Devils, for all their titles, were essentially all those angels who had joined Lucifer in his rebellion, all of them pretty much fallen who resided in hell and operated under a similar modus operandi to Lasciel, though most didn't have convenient coins to wonder the world in. Demons were creatures that usually lived in the deeper less pleasant parts of Nevernever, creatures that could be summoned but rarely managed to look anything resembling human. The closer a demon looked to human the more power they generally had. They tried to tempt man too, making bargains and pacts, usually in an effort to get the Name of their bargainer so they could control them after.

I had made a few bargains with them myself in the past, but had ended up cutting off that bad habit. It was starting to get a little hot for me.

All that said, devils weren't cute girls and hot blooded guys who lounged around in Student Council rooms while operating a school.

_More than that, the implication that all sides have taken casualties in the past,_ Lash was aware of my train of thoughts and simply continued her list.

'Which brings up a whole other list of inconsistencies.' These creatures, Fallen, Devil, and Angel, they were literally pillars, aspects of creations, closer to metaphors than they were actual creatures. You can't kill an angel, you can't end the fallen. They simply WERE, and as long as creation was they would continue to be as well.

_And the implication that not only were there more than one Satan, but that they had all died in the past…_

I don't think I even needed to get into that one.

_But what also intrigues me is the implication that they are able to change mortals into devils._ Lash was frowning as she continued to count.

'Something which is, literally, impossible,' I agreed.

Mortals were Mortals. Devils were Devils. That was the truth. You couldn't change one from the other. You couldn't take a small feeble existence and make it an aspect of reality. Sure, you could change the mortals body until it resembled something in human, like the Denarii did. You could rip their souls out and change them into obedient servants and slaves, if the human was willing and stupid enough to give you permission. You could twist a mortal into an unstoppable killing machine and let it loose.

But you couldn't make one a devil.

_More than that, there were other implications that were a little… disquieting, _Lash leaned forward, putting her chin on her hands as she pursed her lips.

'And those were?' I prompted her. There was a whole lot of that conversation that I had been focusing on, and I might have been distracted by the outrage of being propositioned to join Hell's foreign legion and missed out on some of the subtler things.

_To be frank, it is the concept that the devils are actually breeding,_ Lash summed it up, and I blinked, the notion of devils actually propagating like mortal creatures something I hadn't even caught. _The devil mentioned that their reason for changing humans to devil was to help their species come back from extinction is similar to the concept of attempting to widen a gene pool to facilitate an endangered species, _Lash continued. _And Ms. Shitori also indicated that she herself was young, indicating that she was a relatively new creation. Also, many of her reactions were similar to those I have noted in young mortals._

'You're right,' I nodded, trying to recall instances where Sona had reacted strangely. She seemed surprised when I had listed my current views of just what the fallen were, and had seemed embarrassed when she admitted that some of her species acted less than benevolently towards their slaves. And she had been absolutely outraged when I had expressed doubt about her intentions to the school. The more I looked at the conversation, the more it seemed like…

'Did I just bust down the door and bully a bunch of school kids?' I asked Lash, suddenly feeling a little bit like a class A jerk. Then I shook my head. 'School devils I guess?'

_It seems that way, from my perspective,_ Lash giggled, covering her mouth as she did so. Though she pursed her lips and sighed afterwards. _Though whether that is the truth, or whether they were simply intelligent beings playing to your preconceptions and deceiving you expertly is indeterminable at this point. It all comes down to a simple fact, one you've already realized._

'This isn't my world,' I grimaced.

It was the truth. It looked so much like my world that I sometimes had trouble keeping that fact in my mind, but this wasn't my world.

This was a world that was beyond even the Outside. It was a reality that was so fundamentally divorced from my original existence that it was freaking shocking that things like gravity, thermo-dynamics, and conservation of mass even existed here in a way I could perceive without being driven mad or turned inside out via alien physics. It wouldn't have been surprising if the creatures of this world breathed argon instead of oxygen, or traveled through time in a non-linear fashion.

All the scifi I had crammed into my head via recreational reading could keep providing me all sorts of ideas, but it wasn't completely relevant right now; fun to think about sometimes, but not relevant.

_My host,_ Lash continued, giving me a direct look, _There is one more thing I would like to call to your attention._

'And that is?' I asked, glancing at her briefly.

_Not once did you meet any of their eyes,_ Lash reminded me bluntly, and I straightened, shocked at that. _If they were indeed devils, or devils similar in nature to our existence, than you would not have had to worry about a soulgaze. Yet you did so here._

"You're right," I whispered, shocked at the realization that I had been holding myself back.

A soulgaze was what happened when a practitioner met the eyes off another. It was a way to gaze, to see in part the very nature of the one you were looking at, to view their soul. But soulgazes weren't one way streets. Look into the abyss and the abyss looks into you, after all.

I made it a point not to soulgaze anyone anymore. After all the things I've done, all the dark places I've been and seen, I wasn't too confident that I wanted anyone to see my soul anymore.

But a soulgaze could only go between those who had souls. You couldn't gaze on the fey, or devils, or most of the things that dwelled in Nevernever, or even in most of the monsters that walked the earth normally. Souls only existed in mortals, the only ones who had that kind of freedom and potential.

'They just looked so human,' I admitted, frowning. Those self-proclaimed devils even though they should be immune to the soulgaze seeing as they didn't have souls in the first place, I had made sure not to look at them.

Though, I had to admit, there was no way of knowing if I COULD soulgaze anyone here. For all I knew, the people around me, even the mortals, might not have a soul in the same way I did, or gazing just might not work on someone from another reality.

I wasn't going to try it anytime soon either. I'm pretty sure my soul was a scary place these days, and I didn't want to traumatize anyone just to find out if I could.

'So I may or may not have been contacted by the forces of hell who may or may not be as bad as they were on my world, and I may or may not have just prepared to throw down like in the big leagues against a bunch of may or may not school kids,' I summed up everything I had gotten from that conversation.

_That seems to be the case,_ Lash agreed. Then she smiled slightly. _Maybe._

'Well as long as we got something concrete out of it all I'm fine,' I grumbled, before Lash paused, looking aside briefly, and then disappearing from my sight. Turning, I followed her last line of sight only to be grabbed by the front of my coat and pulled.

I started to pull my will in a desperate attempt to fend off a surprise assault by the devils I had just confronted, only to pull myself up short in surprise.

"You!" Hyoudou Issei declared, sounding frantic, his eyes wild. "You remember her, right? You remember Yuuma!"

"Yuuma?" I asked, trying to keep track of what was going on as the smaller boy shook me. This had literally came out of nowhere, and I had no idea what the boy was talking about.

"No way!" Issei declared, gritting his teeth. "Yuuma! My girlfriend! You have to remember her! You were there!"

"Girlfriend?" I repeated, before remembering how I had found the kid yesterday. "You mean the bird chick with an impalement fetish?"

Issei froze, staring at me. I started to panic when tears actually started to show up in the kid's eyes.

"You DO remember her," he whispered, sounding triumphant. "She DID exist!"

I frowned, and gently but firmly pulled his hands off my coat. I got the feeling that Issei had been going through something pretty traumatic and panicking, a perfectly justifiable response to how his last few days had been going, but still, hands off the coat. "I get the impression that you and I are about to have a long conversation, aren't we?"

***Scene Break***

"Here you go, kiddo," I told Issei, offering him a canned juice. I had thought about buying him a warm coffee, but figured he was already jittery enough as it is.

"Thanks," he said, looking a lot calmer now than a few minutes ago. He was looking at me carefully, as though he wasn't sure what to make of me. Finally, he blurted out, "You're a wizard."

"I got the business cards and everything," I told him dryly, and he shook his head, sipping his juice.

"No, I mean, you're a wizard," he repeated, still staring at me. "Yesterday, after… after Yuuma-chan stabbed me, I, I think I was dying, and I saw you. You were throwing around fire and ice, and you're staff was glowing…" He shook his head, still staring. "You're a wizard."

"Kid, constantly repeating the same thing over and over again is a sign of shock," I told him, sighing. "Take a couple of deep breaths. Drink a bit of juice. When you're ready to move on with conversation, let me know."

_Your bedside manners continue to amaze me,_ Lash noted.

'I'm a defeater of arcane menaces, not Florence Nightingale,' I told her, rolling my eyes.

_If the child is indeed in shock, perhaps more compassion might yield fruit quicker?_

'What he needs now is a firm hand,' I disagreed, frowning. 'Something steady to help him get his balance, not a shoulder to cry on.'

_Perhaps,_ Lash admitted.

"Er, Dresden-kun," Issei's voice brought me back. He was frowning. "Are you alright? You looked a little strange…"

"Just talking to the voice in my head," I told him with a sigh. He gave me a weird look.

"Isn't that what crazy people do?" he pointed out, now looking a little worried about being alone with me. We were the only two people left on the roof.

"It's only crazy if the voice in your head is your own. If it's something else's, than it's just a sign that you lead a wild life," I told him dryly. When he looked confused, I just sighed and shook my head. "Don't worry about it. You'll probably never have to deal with something like that."

"Is that a wizard thing?" Issei asked, watching me closely, and I nodded with a sigh. "That sounds… weird," he finally decided.

"You have no idea," I told him. Judging that Issei had managed to calm down a bit, I prompted him. "So kiddo, there a reason that you jumped me out of nowhere, or is that just a new hobby of yours?"

"It's," Issei began, swallowing as he did so. "It's just no one remembers Yuuma! It's as though she just disappeared. And the other day, I… I was stabbed wasn't I? I think I was dying, but then I just woke up in my bed. But everything is weird now. It's like the light… it's like it hurts. But when I'm in the dark, I my body is suddenly stronger! What's going on? What's happening to me?"

I frowned as he rambled, taking in his words. 'Newest member of my peerage,' Rias had stated, and if Sona was telling the truth, than that meant this kid, who as far as I can tell had never done anything more wicked than peeping, was now a devil.

And if I was judging it correctly, he had no idea that he had been changed, or into what.

I felt my gut tighten at the thought. Here, a soul lay damned. Had he made a contract, perhaps on his deathbed, or had the devil just enslaved him without a word of consent? It didn't look like he had any idea what was going on, just a stray soul wondering in confusion.

Maybe… it might be a mercy if I ended his suffering, here and now.

It wasn't the kind of thing I would have thought of, long ago. But then again, long ago, I wasn't aware of just how high staked the game actually was. That was before I had been taken in by Winter. Before I had learned that there were forces from beyond the Outer Gate that needed to be stopped, and that no one would ever know that it was my, as the Winter Knight, job to stop them. And if hell really was assembling its forces…

_Preemptive murder is not your usual choice, my host_, Lash spoke up, and I grimaced.

I mostly had it under control, but I was still a predator, made that way by the mantle of Winter in me. Moments like this happened, though having a third party in my head had gone a long way to helping me realize when I was slipping to the dark side.

Even after I pushed the instincts away, I still found myself wondering. This poor kid, Hyoudou Issei, was now a devil. If the devils really were rebuilding their army to begin waging war again, than this poor rambling kid might end up a warrior meant to enslave humanity.

I needed to know. Right now, I needed to make a choice, to find some way to do something to help clear up the confusion, to help me decide just how I was going to react to my current situation from here on out.

'Lash,' I decided, 'I'm about to do something reckless.'

_So nothing new then,_ Lash snorted.

"Issei," I interrupted the other boy as he started to build himself up into proper hysterics. He paused, giving me a hopeful look. "I'm going to do something real quick. I need you to stay still for me. Afterwards, I'll be able to help explain things better."

"Er, okay," he nodded, looking hopeful.

Knowing what I was about to do might have a dreadful impact on me in the future but getting ready to do it anyway, I closed my eyes.

And when I opened them again, I used my Sight on the other boy.

The Sight, an ability of perception that develops in practitioners over time. It was a way to perceive the world as more than just what it normally looked at. It was a way to see the very nature of things, the truth of their existence.

It was also dangerous as hell to use it carelessly.

Things seen by the Sight could never be forgotten. Humans, our memories faded, dimmed, things were forgotten. This was necessary, it was something that let us deal with our experiences, let us heal from wounds or injuries we might have experienced. It was what helped us grow and change.

But those things Seen were never lost like that. Once, I had Seen a Yee Naaldlooshi, and the Sight of it had nearly driven me mad. Once, I had Seen Mab at the height of her power, and the feeling of it still nearly broke me.

Fresh as the day it had happened, there were other things I had Seen. Far too often, those things were less than pretty.

And so I prepared myself to See Hyoudou Issei, a devil, a newly changed agent of the inferno…

And found myself just looking at a boy.

There was no hellfire or brimstone, no screaming of the damned or twisted corruption. Issei in the Sight just looked like Issei. No, that wasn't quite right.

Wings. Like the wings that I had seen in the Student Council room when Sona and the others had revealed them. They were present. And there, on his chest. It was a wound, something fresh and aching, something new that had scarred him. And his eyes, they were furtive, wide and glancing, scared and confused…

And his arm. It was… his arm…

I cut off the Sight, drawing a shaking breath.

"Issei," I began slowly, looking at him cautiously, "have you ever had anything to do with a dragon before?"

"A dragon?" he repeated, still staring at me expectantly. "No… dragons aren't real." He paused. "Er, weren't you going to do something just now?"

"Just did," I told him, letting the new memory drift away. I would never forget it, but I could ignore it for now.

"But all you did was just stand there!" he declared looking confused.

"Hey, not all magic is flashy," I told him. When he looked disappointed, I sighed. Glancing over, I saw a set of chairs near the door to the roof, and with an effort of will I pointed at them. "Forzare."

"Whoa!" Issei yelped as the chair rocketed towards us, coming to halt right behind me as I let myself collapse down into it. "How did you do that!"

"Magic," I told him, refraining from adding 'duh' to the sentence.

"But magic isn't…" he began, almost by rote before he cut himself off, glancing at the ground.

"Magic isn't real?" I finished for him, and he looked away sheepishly. "It is. Magic is real. So are dragons," at least after seeing the kid's arm I was fairly certain they were real here. "As are demons, angels, monsters, all kinds of things that go bump in the night. And you just found yourself ass deep in it, kid."

"Stop calling me kid. You're in the same grade as me," Issei grumbled, though he looked pale. "Call me Ise."

"Rightio, Ise," I told him and he gave me a half grin. It didn't last long.

"So than, Yuuma," he began looking a little sick.

"She called herself Raynare when I was kicking her ass," I told him, grimacing as I did so. "And I hate to be the one who says it, but when a monster usually plays around with a human, they generally don't use their real names. Yuuma was probably a fake one."

"Then she wasn't human? Then, why did she ask me out?" Ise asked, sounding desperate and scared. "What was she doing? Why?"

I looked at him, and sighed. "She really did a number on you, didn't she?"

Because that was what I Saw. That devil or not, this boy was more or less the exact same as he had been before being a devil, that whatever had changed in him hadn't twisted him beyond recognition. That he had a fresh wound on his heart, and that he was scared and confused.

"Did a number on me?" Ise repeated, flinching and looking away. He probably didn't realize what I meant, not consciously, but he might understand deep down. Psychic trauma was like that sometimes, and the wounds he had gotten yesterday wasn't just on his body. He would get better, but it would take time.

I suddenly felt tired, and like the monster on the roof wasn't the devil. I had just seriously considered murdering in cold blood an innocent boy guilty of nothing more than being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

"So, what happened?" Ise asked, giving me a desperate hopeful look as he turned to me for answers.

And I found I didn't have any.

"I don't know," I told him with a sigh, and he gawked. "I might be a wizard, but I'm not omniscient or anything," I defended myself, scowling at the fact that I really was out of my depths now. If devils were so different here than from my world, what else could be different? I was, in effect, just as ignorant as this poor dumb kid. "I thought I had an idea of what was going on," I continued, "but recent events had proven that I might be wrong about a whole lot of things I thought I was right about."

"So then, you can't help me?" Ise looked like a little lost lamb at that point.

"I can't," I began, before pausing and studying the other boy. He was just as confused as me, so maybe… "But I know someone who can."

"Who?" Ise demanded, his eyes lighting up as I managed to at least get him a direction to go towards while looking for answers.

"Gremory Rias," I told him, and he cocked his head to the side.

"One of the Great Onee-samas?" he repeated, sounding surprised.

"That has to be one of the stupidest titles I've ever heard," I muttered before continuing. "Yesterday, while I was fighting off the harpy chick she was the one who saved your life. I'm not sure how, but it was definitely her. If you want some answers, she's the best place to go." He nodded slowly, and I continued. "Just do me a favor, and when you get those answers clue me in too. I don't like not knowing what's going on, and you're my best chance of starting to figure things out as well."

"Is it going to be dangerous?" Ise asked, swallowing as he did so.

"I don't think so," I admitted. "She seemed like she was looking out for you, but like I just said, turns out I don't have all the answers. You scared?"

"A little," Ise admitted, before swallowing and clenching his fist. "But if I don't go, than I won't know what's going on, and I think that's even scarier!"

"Precisely, kiddo," I told him, smiling as he showed that he was made out of sterner stuff than most.

"Don't call me that," Ise grumbled, before giving me a hopeful look. "Could you maybe come with me?"

I hesitated, thinking about it, before I shook my head. "Sorry, but I'm probably not the best one to do so at the moment." I had just nearly threw down with another of the devils, and it sounded like they communicated so having me along might just make things harder for Ise. "Besides, I have other things I'm looking into."

"Like what?" Ise demanded, upset that I couldn't go with him.

"I'm kind of tracking down that bird girl," I admitted, glancing at the necklace laced with feathers. "And when I find her, I'm gonna get answers out of her, even if I have to beat her like a kettledrum to get them."

***Scene Break***

I skipped school the next day.

No, it wasn't because I was feeling sheepish about having nearly started a fight with the Student Council. It was because I was doing dangerous, extensive, wizarding investigation stuff.

Seriously.

Have I mentioned that I love the fact that Burger King has franchises in Japan?

Just putting that out there.

Though my own investigations have proven only slightly above fruitless, I was currently going to meet up with Ise again, who hopefully would be able to supply some answers.

"Dresden-kun!" he greeted me as he pedaled into sight. I was somewhat impressed by just how quickly he was managing to make that bike move. "Guess what? I'm a devil, and it's awesome!"

"Wow," I muttered, staring at him again. "Er, either they have better brainwashing techniques than I thought, or I was really, really missing out on something."

_And if only you had listened to me sooner, you might know which it is,_ Lash told me.

I was almost bemused as I followed Ise along, listening as he started giving me all that vital intelligence that I had been lacking. It seems that the nervous boy from yesterday had been replaced by some highly motivated pod person of some sort.

"And I get to hang around Buchou and Akeno-san, the two great Nee-sama's of Kuoh Academy!" Ise happily listed all the fringe benefits of being a devil, and a member of the Gremory Peerage as it was called. "And Koneko-chan is cute too! There's that damn handsome Kiba, though."

"Wait, can you back up a sec," I held out my hand, trying to focus on the useful things Ise was telling me rather than him listing all the hot chicks he now got to hang around. "Devils can speak any language, but that doesn't extend to the written aspects?"

"Yeah, so English is going to be a breeze for sure from now on!" he declared, pumping a fist as he did so. Lash knew what I wanted without me saying a word.

"Any language at all?" I asked for confirmation, and Ise nodded vigorously.

"It's great! I feel so international now!"

"Well I'll be," I muttered, pursing my lips. "It really works, doesn't it."

"Why do you say that, Dresden?" he asked, sounding confused.

"Because we're speaking Ancient Etruscan and you didn't even notice," I pointed out for him, and Ise blinked in surprise.

"Hey, you're right," he noted, before giving me a confused look. "How do you know Ancient Etruscan?"

"Magic," I told him, grinning slightly. He scowled at me but I let it slide. Hey, wizards who don't act mysterious are breaking union rules. "So what are you doing right now? And did you figure out who and what that harpy chick was? Or why she came at you?"

"Well, now I'm doing the devil's work," Ise enthused, and I perked, glancing out of the corner of my eye at him. "Basically, since devils are creatures that respond to temptation and desire, when someone has enough desire they can summon a devil to help them out. Apparently it can be all kinds of work, and we get payment in return for doing it. It's like a part time job or something."

"And that payment is?" I asked, trying not to show how tense I was.

"Oh it can be all kinds of things, like money, or sometimes expensive things," Ise didn't even notice the way I sagged, unable to believe that response. I had seriously been expecting something a little less… harmless as cash.

_The way the boy put it,_ Lash sounded intrigued, _Interesting._

'What did you notice?' I asked her.

_That devils are those who respond to desires, and encourage them in turn,_ she explained. _Though it is less extreme than in our world, to encourage desire is to feed it. The more a human has their desires granted, the more they are willing to give into them._

'So rather than just going for the soul directly, they simply encourage mortals to fall further and further on their own,' I concluded. It was… strangely both more and less insidious than back home. In a way, it was a lot safer for the mortal, helping prevent them from instant damnation that creatures like the Denarii could offer. But also, it was a way of training the human that calls the devil to be greedier, to be more willing to fall to avarice.

I was strangely relieved by that. So far, all my preconceptions had been turned upside down. If devils didn't have at least SOMETHING wicked about them, than I would seriously be in danger of just throwing my arms in the air and going home to sulk.

"And as for why Yuu- Raynare attacked me," Ise stumbled over the name, grimacing as he corrected himself. "It turns out that she was a fallen angel. Apparently, I have something called a Sacred Gear, some kind of magical tool or something that humans can be born with sometimes. Fallen angels don't like it when humans have that kind of power, so they kill them when they can."

"And now, rather than a human having a power that they don't like, a devil does," I grimaced, not quite sure what to make of something so… simplistic as people being born with magical artifacts in them. "Can you show me yours?"

And a second later I felt like palming my head at the way that came out. Luckily, Ise was too excited to notice.

"Sure!" Ise began, before pausing and frowning. "Hey, did you change languages again?"

"Ancient Sumerian," I told him, and he gawked at me. "Trust me, it really did sound like that."

'Also, Lash,' I began.

_Yes, my host?_

'Keep it up. This is getting kind of fun,' I grinned, and heard the shadow giggle herself as she changed the language once more, Lower Kingdom Egyptian if I didn't miss my mark.

"Right," Ise finally shook his head, before holding out his left arm and concentrating.

It didn't escape my notice that the arm was the same one that had resembled a dragon in my Sight. With narrowed eyes I watched as the arm glimmered, and then changed.

"A gauntlet?" I hummed, studying the new addition to the other boy carefully. "What does it do?"

"Actually, we haven't figured it out yet," Ise admitted, scratching his head with the gauntlet sheepishly. It was bright red, and had a sort of scale motif to it. It didn't seem immediately dangerous, but I kept an eye on it anyway.

"If you're trying to figure out what it is, I suggest researching dragons," I told him, and Ise frowned.

"Why are you so set on dragons, anyway?" he asked, and I just shook my head.

"So if you're currently, er, doing the devil's work, why are you out here on your bike?" I asked, and Ise slumped. Was it just me or did this kid have some pretty exaggerated expressions?

"Er, normally a devil just teleports themselves to the contractor," he began looking depressed. "But, er, it turns out I don't really have much demonic power."

"What do you mean by not much?" I prompted, frowning as I focused on that new phrase 'demonic power'. It didn't sound ominous at all. Really.

"As in not even as much as a normal devil baby," I swear to god, he began crying.

_So devils do procreate as other species do,_ Lash noted, and I nodded with her.

Then I started to feel awkward. Standing next to a crying guy would do that to anyone.

"Well, work hard and I'm sure you'll do better," I told him, and he just started to cry harder. "Why don't I tell you how things have been going on my end?"

"You mean, have you found her yet?" Ise sniffed, but he glanced up, a complicated look on his face as I successfully distracted him.

"Not yet," I told him, "wherever she is, it's someplace that's warded against my tracking spells."

"Tracking spells?" Ise repeated, frowning. "Warded?"

"Wards are the type of spells you put around places or things, mostly to defend them or to hide them," I explained, deciding to keep it general enough for now. I still didn't know how much my magic had in common with this world's magic, and I didn't want to raise any alarm flags.

"So you can't just find her?" Ise frowned, and I shook my head.

"Not easily, anyway. But there's ways around that kind of thing," I held up the necklace, and Ise frowned at it. "See those feathers? They're the ones I knocked out of her in the fight. If you have a piece of someone or something, you can use that piece to find the original. Most of the time, while she's hidden, nothing happens. But when she comes out…"

As though prompted by my words, the necklace suddenly started, and began swaying, pushing in a specific direction.

"You found her!" Ise declared, before grimacing. "What… what should we do?"

"I didn't find her yet," I told him, pulling out my tablet. Again, as though prompted by my words, the swaying stopped. I grimaced. "It only lasts as long as she's outside her protection. But, I've been keeping this up for most of the day."

Then I paused. "A giant pile of money appears."

"What?" Ise had every right to be confused. It was kind of out of left field.

When no giant pile of money appeared, I chalked up the previous too cases of things happening just because I said them to coincidence.

A man could dream though, right?

"Anyway," I continued, holding my phone up. I had a map of the city displayed on it, and all over the map were little arrows I had drawn. This was so much easier when I didn't have to lug a paper map around. "Every time the feather moves, I make a mark here. Even if I can't tell where she is now, the more arrows I make the more it narrows it down." I scowled at the map. So far I had gotten enough of those movements to start narrowing down my search, and the more that showed up the more I was able to narrow. "It may take a bit of time, but I'll get her.

"When you do…" Ise swallowed, and then looked up, determined. "Let me know. I… I want to be there. I have to, to ask her. Why she did it."

I gave him a measuring look. Then I sighed. "Look, Kiddo.."

"Ise," he corrected me, and I nodded.

"Ise. I hate to be the one who tells you this, but nothing good is going to come out of that conversation. You might be better of just letting it go."

"How would you know?" he demanded, scowling at me, and I scowled right back.

"Because I've had a few of those conversations myself," I told him, and he blinked, surprised at how grim my tone was. "None of them ended well."

"Er, Dresden," Ise sounded worried. "You mean you…" He stopped, and then shook his head. "No. Never mind."

"Smart kid," I told him, and the two of us walked in silence for a bit.

"So," I finally spoke up again, breaking the tense atmosphere. "How have the other devils been treating you?"

"Great!" he declared, enthusiastically picking up the conversation from there. I listened carefully, trying to see just how a devil treated their peerage. I wanted to see if it wasn't as bad as I feared, if they really were more than just slaves. "Akeno-san is really nice, and makes great tea! Kiba is okay, the damn handsome. And Buchou is really nice! She even told me that if I worked hard, I could achieve my own dream and become a high class devil too!"

"Good for you," I muttered bemusedly. It looked like the more I heard, the less I had to worry about. "So what's your dream?"

"To have my own peerage, and become a Harem King!" he declared happily.

I stopped.

I stared.

"What?" I finally got out.

"To have a great big harem of beautiful women with large oppai!" Ise continued, the fire of his enthusiasm burning hot as he gripped his fist in front of him. "To be able to do echi things to them and their oppai all night long!"

It appears that Ise is a breast man.

It also appears he is unfamiliar with the term 'shame'.

"Good for you?" I offered him slowly, backing away a bit.

"And so, for the sake of my future as a Harem King, I will work hard!" Ise swore, pulling up to one house specifically. I guessed it was the client's house as he rang the doorbell.

"You do that," I told him, still backing away slightly. Then I frowned. "Just so you know, if you build that harem through mind control, coercion, or any kind of demonic enslavement, I'm morally obligated to murder you."

"Eh?" Ise sounded a little surprised by that, turning to give me a confused look. Than the door opened and I gaped at the person who answered it. He realized I was staring at something, and turned as well. "Eh?"

"Pyo," the enormous man who answered the door declared, speaking in one of those artificially cute ways that some girls did. Only he was very much not a girl. He was enormous, with the kind of muscles I'd expect to find on some of Marcone's hired Vikings. Hell, he was even bigger than Hendricks had been.

And he was wearing what appeared to be a magical girl cosplay outfit.

Sailor Bubba, why, oh why, do you exist?

"Are you the devil-kun who came to grant Mil-tan's wish?" the juggernaut asked, still speaking cutely.

"Eh!" Ise squeaked again, and gave me a panicked look.

"Good luck, work hard, and keep your eyes on your dream," I told him in a rush, and then veiled myself, albeit poorly, and made good my escape.

"Eehhhhhh!" Ise's scream echoed from behind me, and I prayed for his well-being.

***Scene Break***

I narrowed my eyes, taking in the sight before me. It had taken a few days, but I was positive this was the place. Now, the only question, was what to do about it.

Prior experience had helped me get down how to plan an assault like this. If I took a few days, scoped out the guards and what kind of forces are there, it would make things easier in the long run. I like to think I had mostly grown out of the whole 'frontal assault is the best assault' phase I had had back when I was younger, and even a little intel could…

I swore as my phone began to ring.

Okay, maybe I was a little out of practice if I had forgotten to mute my phone. Though, in my defense, I never really was able to have a cellphone before, so maybe this slip could be forgiven.

"What!" I snapped, getting the phone to my ear as I answered it, cursing under my breath as I did so. If I had been in the middle of infiltration having my phone go off would have been a silly reason to get caught.

"Dresden!" Ise nearly shouted back, his tone so angry it made me blink. "I need your help! Raynare, she took Asia! They're going to do something to her, and we have to stop them!"

"Wait, who are 'they'? Who's Asia? What's going on?" I blinked, feeling like I had missed something. It sounded like Ise had had a wild couple of days and some probably pretty important events had occurred to him.

It was odd, because my last few days had been really quiet, and usually it was me who had to endure the madness and then call up some confused back up when I got in over my head.

"It'll take too long to explain," Ise declared, and I felt déjà vu for a moment. How many times had I used THAT excuse myself? "I found out where Raynare is hiding!"

"Is it the big abandoned church on the hill out in the middle of nowhere?" I asked him slowly, and he paused.

"Wait, how did you know that?" he asked, losing his pace in confusion over my answer.

"Because I am currently standing at the foot of the hill that the big abandoned church in the middle of nowhere is on," I told him dryly.

"You found her too?" Ise sounded excited. "So she is there! I'm coming, and I'm bringing Kiba and Koneko-chan! Just wait for us!"

And like that, the phone went dead.

'So that's what it feels like,' I mused, staring at the phone before absentmindedly turning it to vibrate only.

_Will the experience be enough to stop you from inflicting it on others in the future?_ Lash asked idly.

'No, not at all. It's just refreshing to be on the other side for once,' I admitted, before sighing. 'So. Frontal assault it is.'

_Don't burn it down until you are outside,_ Lash recommended.

'No promises.'

***Scene Break***

"So I take it you must be Kiba," I greeted the blond, good looking boy absentmindedly, before glancing at the tiny girl with silver hair. "And you must be Koneko. Devils, I presume?"

"Ah," the blond smiled gently before bowing politely. "I see Ise-kun has mentioned us. You must be Dresden Harry. A pleasure to meet you."

"…suspicious," the girl stated, just eying me cautiously. I guess a tall foreign boy in a black duster wasn't exactly the most trustworthy figure to meet late at night.

"We don't have time for this!" Ise demanded, and I glanced at him, frowning. I had known he was the excitable sort, but now he seemed different. He was still high tension, but his eyes were narrowed, a harsh glare at the church above as though he was trying to burn it to the ground with his mind. "Who knows who's up there, or what's going on! We have to…"

"There were about fifty men, most dressed in full priest outfits, none carrying any firearms that I could make," I told him, flipping through my notebook. "One of them had a sword, a silver haired guy that seemed like a head mook to me. It looked like he stayed in the main foyer. There's some kind of staircase hidden under the alter, and most of the lesser mooks made their way down about a half hour ago. They had a girl with them, and judging by the atmosphere I'm assuming that's 'Asia', and that they probably intend to do her wrong. I know for a fact that our girl Raynare was with them. I think I caught sight of two other of the fallen, if the wings were anything to go by, but they left the church so they're either standing guard or have already moved on."

"Er," Ise blinked, staring at me. Both Kiba and Koneko also seemed surprised, the girl's head cocking as she took me in. "Magic?" he finally asked.

"Sometimes low tech is best tech," I told him, holding up the binoculars I had been scoping the church out with. "I didn't want to get any closer in case I caught the other fallens' attention, but I was able to make out the inner foyer after I climbed a tree for some leverage. Sorry, but once we're down the stairs we'll have to play this by ear."

"That's… more than we expected," Kiba admitted, before smiling. "I had heard the stories, but it seems you really are experienced."

"This ain't my first rodeo," I sighed, before putting the binoculars back in my back pack. I had some pretty standard wizarding tools there, but if this was going to be frontal assault style than most of them weren't needed. I'd just leave them here and pick them up afterwards. "Any of you ever fight with a wizard before?"

"…no," Koneko ended up speaking, still blinking as she continued to study me.

"Then I'll give you the details as we move," I assured them as Ise nodded fiercely, already making her way up the hill. The rest of us followed. "First off, bear in mind, is that I'm squishy."

"Squishy?" Kiba repeated, looking at me oddly.

"Squishy, as in I'm just a normal mortal human. You devils are probably gonna be a lot tougher than me," I explained, hurrying to keep pace. From the way they were all moving I was definitely certain that devils were stronger than humans. "Because of that, I work better as the rearguard. Sorry, but you guys are going to be taking point."

"I see," Kiba nodded, patiently listening. Ise glanced back at me to show he was listening before scowling and focusing on the church.

"…definitely squishy," Koneko apparently decided. I wondered where a girl that tiny got to make that kind of judgment, before deciding that it would be better not to underestimate the devils, regardless of how they looked.

"That being said, my specialty is pretty much wide scale destruction," I admitted sheepishly. "My favorite elements are fire and ice. If I see a small opening, expect the ice. If there are a lot of them standing together with nothing I like around them, that's when you'll see the fire."

"Logical," Kiba agreed.

"And also, if you hear me yell 'Down in Front' that's a very good indication that I'm about to be doing something excessive," I advised them as well. "I'm not expecting it for this kind of fight, but if you hear the shout, I advise you to retreat, and try not to be between me and them."

"And do you do something excessive often?" Kiba asked, frowning.

"Er…." I thought back to some of my past escapades. "I'll pass on that. Incidentally, there won't be any fall out if this church happens to burn down or anything, will there? Er, just speaking hypothetically."

"…definitely suspicious," Koneko resumed studying me with narrowed eyes. I smiled back innocently.

"We're almost there!" Ise shouted as we closed in on the church.

"Allow me to get the door," I declared, leveling my staff. "Forzare!"

Both doors rocketed backwards with a thunderous crash, part of the frame holding them going with them. Kiba picked up speed, proving that the devil was definitely faster than me by a long shot and rocketed forward, nearly blurring as he moved past Ise to take point.

"Ow, ow, ow!" the white haired guy moaned, pushing the door off of him. I must have gotten lucky and caught him in the blast. "Who the hell blows up doors! Seriously!"

"Freed!" Ise shouted, and I realized that whoever it was the kid apparently had met him before. "Where's Asia!"

"Well, I never met the same Devil twice before! You know, since I'm super strong, I cut Devils into pieces when I first meet them! Once I see them, I cut them up on the spot! I then kiss the corpse and say goodbye! That's how I used to live! But since you guys ruined my style, I'm so lost! That's no good~. It's not good to interfere with my lifestyle~! That's why~! You guys piss me off! I hope you guys will die! Actually die! You trashy Deeeeeeeeeeeevils!"

Okay. It only took this Freed guy opening his mouth, and I was able to use my highly sensitive 'psychometer' to detect that he was absolutely insane. He also seemed fixated on devils as well.

Hey, if the bad guy is crazy and not paying attention to you, that's kind of a plus minus equal type thing, isn't it?

I was bracing myself for the fight to really kick in when the crazy guy reached into his robes and pulled out a gun and what looked like a sword hilt.

And then my jaw dropped in pure disbelief as the hilt actually lit up, a sword of light appearing on it.

"He has a lightsaber?" I whispered. "I just had a geekgasm."

Still, disregarding the fact that after we finished this guy that sword was coming with me and no devil better try to stop me, it was still probably a very dangerous weapon. Not wanting to be on the end of that holy sword myself, I veiled, and strafed to the side. My veils would never be as good as Molly's were, that was undeniable, but even if I was just blurring my outline, that could be the difference between life and death if that gun was pointed at me. I prepared my will to take action, but found that there really wasn't anything I could do yet at this point.

It turns out that what I had thought was Kiba's max speed earlier was just him warming up. Fast. So damn fast. I narrowed my eyes as I tried to keep track of the devil's movements, and was able to, if only just.

I did not want to have to throw down against that. Partly because fighting something that fast was dangerous, and unless I came in prepared with some cheap tricks I would probably end up stabbed before I even knew I was being attacked.

Partly because the best way to fight against that kind of speed was to just saturate the whole area with wide scale destruction, and I was trying to avoid getting that kind of reputation in this world as well.

I was still biding my time when Kiba used a sword that…

No! My lightsaber! Why did you break my dream, you devil! In front of my eyes, the sword that Kiba was wielding was literally extinguishing the culmination of nearly a life time of dreams!

Damnit!

_Be strong, my host,_ Lash comforted me. _Be strong._

"…disappear!" Koneko declared, and then I gaped as a girl who literally barely reached my waist picked up a freaking church pew, and then threw it at the still startled priest.

How did she do that? I mean, literally, how the hell did she do that? The pew should have weighed at least three times her mass! Due to the leverage and way it was balanced, she should have literally been unable to pick it up just because of basic physics!

'Okay, I call hax,' I muttered to Lash, so far feeling a little out of my depths here. 'I give up, Bizzaro world wins. Can we go home now?'

_I believe your friend Ise is still relying on you,_ Lash pointed out gently and I snorted.

'Why? So far these two seem to have it all under control.'

_Perhaps you will be of more use when dealing with the large number of, as you call them, mooks, down below? _Lash offered and I sighed.

'Great. Now I'm mook control. That's so demeaning. It just means I'm just providing our side's thug-power. That's what Thomas was for, not me.'

"Promotion!" Ise shouted, and then I gaped yet again as this time HE was the one moving so fast I had trouble following him.

"No fa-!" the psycho priest started, only for Ise to nail him a good one, right in the kisser. All that momentum bled over nicely to force, and priest went flying into a wall, pretty much ending the fight right there.

"Don't worry guys," I declared dryly, letting my veil fall as I stepped back out of the corner. "I have it all under control."

"But you didn't do anything," Ise pointed out, sounding confused, and I sighed.

"Well, I guess your sarcasm-fu is still weak," I told him. Kiba at least looked amused.

Seriously, why was it only devils that found me funny?

"…useless," Koneko told me and I scowled at the girl before again I had to suppress the urge to gawk as the tiny girl just walked up to the stone alter, grabbed, and then lifted the entire thing up with one stone cracking tug.

"Someone was drinking their milk," I muttered, eyeing the girl carefully.

"Koneko is a Rook, so that much is simple," Kiba offered, before Ise brushed past him, charging down the stairs to whatever was lying in wait for us.

"Pardon?" I asked, following behind as Koneko, then Kiba went. I was the last to go in, though I did keep my staff trained behind me as I played rear guard. Kiba paused as he noted me walking sideways, and then smiled as he realized I was keeping an eye out for ambushes.

"I see you haven't had the Evil Piece system explained to you yet," the blond nodded, still smiling. Seriously, this guy seemed moderately unflappable when it came to keeping his cool. "If you'd like, once this is over, Buchou should be able to explain it for you."

"Well, it's not like I never went into combat without knowing the capabilities of my allies," I grumbled. "It sucked before, and it sucks now. Hell's bells, who are these guys anyway?"

"Fallen exorcists," the other boy supplied, and I blinked at him. He picked up on the fact that his answer wasn't, and he went on. "Priests that used to work for the church, but ended up being kicked out for some reason or other. Some for being too extreme, some for harming humans inappropriately, others like Freed…"

"For being batshit crazy?" I offered, and Kiba nodded in agreement. "So just about everyone below is probably the same as Captain Loopy up there?"

"Most likely," he offered, before frowning slightly. "When they no longer have the protection of the church, most of them tend to turn to the fallen for protection."

"Great," I muttered, voicing the opposite of my true feelings. Kiba seemed to pick up on that. Maybe it was the scowl that gave it a way.

"Is there a problem?" he asked cautiously, studying me closely.

"I hate killing mortals," I told him flatly. "No problem with killing monsters and stuff, but other people? That's when it gets complicated."

"I see," Kiba studied me carefully, a small frown appearing on his face. "But that implies that you've done so before…"

"I never said I can't do it," I told him, my expression going stony. "But it doesn't mean I have to like it."

"I'm sorry," Kiba apologized, and for what it was worth he really did look regretful. "But depending on what we find, we may have no other choice. If it helps, most of these people are probably like Freed was, people who enjoyed killing too much and were cast out for it."

"Actually, yeah, that does help," I told him, grimacing but firming my resolve.

I could handle dealing with psychos. Stars and stones, with some of the scumbags I've come across just working in Chicago's underbelly, I had no delusions about the kind of psychos and killers that were out there. Even if these guys were priests, at least they were psycho priests.

"We're almost there!" Ise shouted, and I glanced ahead, taking my eyes off the passage behind us to check our front and saw a doorway that seemed to open to a wider room. Bracing myself, I prepared for the fight.

When I broke into the room, I found most of my compunctions about using lethal force against my fellow mortals disappearing.

"Ise…san?" the young blonde girl managed to get out. She groaned a moment after, and I scowled.

I didn't know who this Asia was, or what she had done. Ise seemed to know, and my impression from him so far was that she was good people.

And she was currently tied to a cross, wearing a thin undergarment, and writhing in pain. All around her, stone faced priests stood by, some of them chanting and others just standing guard, none of them doing anything to help. If I judged it right, it looks like they were the ones who were doing whatever it was that was hurting the young girl.

"Welcome, devils," bird girl Raynare still had that haughty voice, and her eyes narrowed as she caught sight of me in the back. "And the magician too? It seems that my fortune is great today.

"Well, if you enjoy getting your ass kicked, I'd say you're right," I told her, narrowing my eyes. "But hey, if you're really that masochistic, who am I to stop kicking?"

"Asia!" Ise yelled, and the shaking blonde girl who was now confirmed as being the Asia in question looked up painfully.

"Ise-san," she whispered, sounding surprised but overjoyed, beneath the pain anyway, that the kid had shown up.

"It's too late!" Raynare declared triumphantly. I desperately readied my will, deciding that doing something drastic in the name of stopping whatever this ceremony was seemed like an acceptable course of action, but I was too late.

Just like with Ise before, there was flash of light, and a life was extinguished. It was that quick. It was that cruel.

And it pissed me off. It pissed me off a lot. So I used it. I pulled that anger, turned it into will. While I gathered my power, Ise had managed to break through the formation and recover the now dead girl. His fellow devils moved to cover his back.

"Go, Ise-kun!" Kiba ordered, and the crying kid nodded, still cradling the limp blonde girl as he ran back through the doorway, heading back to the church proper.

"It's too late for that now!" Raynare ordered, laughing cruelly as she did so. I was taking aim with my staff for a sucker punch when she did that flashing thing, feathers flying as she teleported.

Okay. I was going to learn how that worked. I mean, teleportation? That wasn't the kind of thing you saw back on my world. If I could adjust the affect, I wonder if I could make it look like the teleporters on Star Trek?

_My host, you are not allowed to say 'Beam me up, Scottie',_ Lash informed me, and I scowled at the shadow for ruining my fun. _Also, you may wish to calm down. We are still far underground, and it would be troubling to escape if you go overboard._

'They were torturing an innocent girl,' I told her softly, turning my eyes to the gathered priests. 'They dragged her into the night, hurt her, and then killed her, and there was nothing she could do to stop them.'

I had been dragged into the night before. Hell, several times at this point. I knew what it was like to be helpless, to have things done to you that you couldn't stop.

Yeah, turns out I was going to have no problem fighting these guys.

"Well then," Kiba began, his smile a bit fierce. "Shall we be-"

He cut himself off as my staff appeared beside him, the tip of it spearing in front of him.

"Fuego," I declared. "Pyro fuego!"

"Eh?" he yelped, flinching back as the column of fire erupted from the tip. The smell of sulfur lit the air, and the runes I had carved on my staff glowed ominously. Hey, I was fighting on the side of the devils, Hellfire just seemed appropriate.

"Dodge!" one priest managed to get out, before he screamed as the flames hit him. I didn't get as many as I hoped for, many of them already having been moving before I had finished chanting, others calling up some kinds of shields or holding talismans that managed to protect them. It made sense, seeing as these were priests that hunted devils and all.

The situation quickly degenerated from there. With so many exorcists present, it was impossible for us to mount any kind of united front. Besides that, Kiba was moving so fast, darting in and out of the priests, dodging and blocking lightsabers with frightening quickness, and Koneko had just waded in, literally picking up priests and using them as clubs as she showed that same mind boggling strength she had displayed earlier. Meaning, the meat shields I was depending on to cover my poor mortal self turned out to be crappy at their job.

"Die, magician!" one of the priests shouted, coming at me. Lightsabers seemed pretty much the weapon of choice here, and I felt a ridiculous urge to tell them there lack of faith disturbs me.

Then I realized I was casting myself as Darth Vader and sighed.

_At least you finally know the power of the darkside,_ Lash reassured me, and I decided that being able to squeeze a Star Wars quote out of her made the whole being on the wrong side of the force worth it.

I blocked the first exorcist with my shield, the rippling plain of light flashing into experience and drawing a curse from the attacker. There were a lot of them, and frankly, they were all too close for my comfort. I had no idea if my duster would protect me from the swords of light either. I'd only put my standard defensive enchantments on it, and I'd never been attacked by some sort of holy element before, so I guess that was going into my research list pretty quickly.

With a grimace, I dug deep in me to the power of Winter.

As the Winter Knight, I had a lot of power, the kind of physical ability to match some of the tougher monsters I had fought. When the next priest came, I punched him, and was secretly pleased as for once, I got to be the superhumanly tough creature rather than the squishy mortal as I felt bones crack and organs rupture.

I suppressed that glee quickly, not willing to let the mental influence of Winter take root in me. As I dodged another attack, some kind of gun that shot bullets of light that the priest had concealed under his robe, I pulled my will and focused.

"Infriga!" I declared, and the next priest that came near me had only a moment for a strangled scream, and then I ripped the warmth right out of him. His body cracked in places as he froze between one moment and the next, momentum and sudden changes in temperature causing small fractures before he stopped completely, nothing more than a corpse standing like a statue.

And I took that heat, fueled it, and then slammed it into the next priest as a ball of fire.

It was a dangerous trick, a combo I had first found when I had charged the Red Court itself in order to rescue Maggie. It was rare, really rare, for a wizard to be able to manage two such opposing elements. It probably would have taken me a century or so to pull it off if I hadn't had the power of Winter. However, with the affinity for all things cold and frozen having literally been engrained in me, it was now one of my staples for fighting.

Even as I dodged another attack, I repeated it, yanking the warmth out of the burning priest, freezing him in turn in a rictus of pain and blistered flesh, and the repeated the process with the next priest.

Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

It wasn't until several minutes later, when I tore the fire out of one last priest and realized that I was out of targets to move it to, that a voice interrupted my concentration. "Oh my."

I started, steeling feeling Winter's mantle affecting me, glancing around as I sought my next prey… my enemy, my next enemy I corrected my thinking, when I realized the fight was over.

"I was aware that you knew your way around a fight," Rias declared, and I realized I couldn't remember when she had got here. Beside her, a dark haired girl about her same age, just as stacked as the redhead, had her hand to her mouth and was blinking. Beside them Kiba was frowning, pursing his lips, and Koneko had her head cocked as she watched me carefully. "But this far exceeds my expectations."

It would be easy, so easy, to take out the boy. And then afterwards, there would be nothing to stop me from taking those three lovely creatures, and breaking them, using them as I will, as was my right…

'And stop right there,' I ordered myself, imposing my will with long practice on the instincts of Winter. I straightened, took a deep breath, and took stock of the situation.

All around me, nearly a dozen priests stood like grim lawn ornaments, frozen in their final moments. All but the first one were covered in burns, their poses ones of agony as they stood in a cold, final testament of their lives.

"We done here?" I asked, before scowling at my tone. It always took me a few minutes to come back from that bad place Winter tended to send me. I realized I was still holding the fire ready, the ball of sulfurous flames crackling as I held it in place with my will with the ease of long practice. I let it disperse, a blast of warmth buffering over the surroundings as the heat dissipated.

"Yes," Rias declared, pursing her lips as she studied my handiwork. "I've never seen magic like this." She gave me a measuring look. "What school do you practice?"

I had absolutely no idea what she was talking about, and didn't really want her to know that, so I told her with a straight face, "The old school."

She blinked, and then giggled again, a sound echoed by the dark haired hotty beside her. Even Kiba cracked a grin, and I was struck by just how at home they were, talking to a wizard surrounded by frozen corpses. Then I was struck by how at home I was by the same thing.

I think I made some bad choices in my life.

Then I remembered we weren't quite done here yet.

"We should go back up Ise," I declared, frowning as the devils continued to just stand around, wondering just why they weren't helping their friend.

"We are monitoring the situation through our familiars," Rias informed me, before frowning. "If at all possible, I would like for Ise to be able to handle this himself. It would be best for him, in order to help him move on."

I frowned, wondering if this was some kind of ominous devil initiation thing, before remembering that wound on the kid's heart I had Seen.

"You may be right," I allowed, scowling. Ise had wanted this conversation, and even if I was sure that it wouldn't end well, he needed to see it through before he'd truly be able to start healing.

"I had heard from Sona that you had a less than favorable reaction to devils," Rias noted, studying me. "It seems that she may have exaggerated slightly." She huffed, folding her arms. "No doubt trying to monopolize you for herself, that sly girl."

"No, I kinda blew up at her," I admitted with a sigh. "I'm at a good age for overreacting I guess. But then I decided to do some investigating of my own. Considering what the fallen are like, I'm kind of coming down on the whole 'better the devil you know' side of things."

"I see," Rias beamed, her smile growing. "Well then, Ise should be finishing up soon. I suppose we should do something about these," she eyed the statues.

Well, it wouldn't hurt to show off a bit. I was still on the fence about how to deal with devils from now on, but a little preemptive intimidation might be useful if things ever turn sour.

With an effort of will, I channeled force, a wave of it sweeping out from around me. The wave struck the statues as it spread, shattering them and sending chunks of frozen flesh scattering around me. Rias jumped slightly, and devils were lightly showered with frozen chunks of priest.

"I kind of feel sorry for the janitor when those finally thaw," I declared innocently.

***Scene Break***

I ended up walking back to the church proper myself. Stupid devils and their stupid devil only teleportation. I swear, I will learn it myself just as soon as I have the time.

I veiled myself before I entered, remembering what Rias said about letting Ise handle it on his own. There were a few tense minutes towards the end, but the kid managed to pull through, decking the fallen hard enough to put her through a window and ending the fight.

He looked about how I felt after some of my more wild adventures, but it looked like he would live to see another day.

When he knelt next to the cooling corpse of his friend, it reminded me she wouldn't.

Asia. I had never met her, but I'd say a prayer for her later.

"Ise," Rias spoke up, coming out of however it was the devils had been hiding. "Fetch that," she told Koneko, and the tiny girl made her way out of the church, probably to get Raynare before she recovered and got away.

"Buchou," Ise looked up, surprised at her presence. "But weren't you…"

"I said that I had other things to do," she smiled at the boy kindly. She was still smiling when Koneko returned, dragging the limp fallen angel behind her. The dark haired girl who still hadn't had an introduction made a gesture, and water poured on the unconscious fallen, waking her back up. "It just so happened that I was investigating the actions of the fallen myself."

"Hmph," Raynare had guts, I'll give her that much. Despite being out numbered and having just had her ass handed to her, she was putting up a strong front. "If you think that you've won, than you're mistaken," she declared imperiously. "Release me now, or the others…"

"Fallen angel Kalawana, fallen angel Dohnaseek and fallen angel Mitelt have already been dealt with," Rias declared coolly. It looked like harpy girl wasn't the only one that could pull off looking down on others. She held up three feathers, and Raynare's eyes widened as she seemed to recognize them. "When I heard that the fallen were moving in secret, I went to investigate. When they came, they spoke of their plans, boasting when I asked them as a final favor. Once I knew everything, I dealt with them myself. You were moving without the knowledge or approval of the Grigori." The redhead let the feathers fall to the floor, and I got the impression that in Raynare's eyes it was like the clacking of bars coming down on her. "You are the last one left."

"To think that a lowly devil with a useless Sacred Gear could ever…" Raynare turned her anger at Ise, only to be interrupted by Rias.

"You were mistaken about my lovely Ise's Sacred Gear," the redhead declared. "It isn't Twice Critical. It seems that my pawn has the legendary Boosted Gear, the Longinus with the power to slay even god, the gauntlet of the Red Dragon Emperor."

Ise gaped, sounding surprised by the declaration.

Frankly, most of it went right over my head. I still wasn't completely sure what a Sacred Gear was. However, in regards to it having something to do with 'Red Dragon Emperor' I would like somebody to get me a phone.

Because I freaking called it.

"Yoho!" a new voice interrupted, that same psychopathic cheer present in it, and I realized in surprise that the crazy ex-exorcist had made an appearance. And that he was right in front of me. And that he hadn't noticed me at all.

Maybe my veils didn't suck as much as I thought they did? I mean, Molly was a genius at them, so maybe comparing myself to her in that field was little unfair.

"You!" Raynare latched onto the priest being present like a drowning swimmer reaching for a life vest. "Priest! Save me!"

"I don't know. What are you going to do for me if I do?" Freed didn't seem to have any loyalty to the fallen at all, and sounded like he was enjoying her getting her comeuppance. "Maybe if you have sex with me…"

He cut himself off as he felt my staff poke him in the small of his back.

"Yes, that is my staff," I told him. "No, it's not me being happy to see you."

"Ah, shit," he got out before I slammed will through the staff, hitting him with enough force to send him rocketing through a window just like Raynare had earlier.

"And the wizard picks up the spare," I declared cheerfully, and the dark haired girl giggled.

"My, my Dresden-kun," she smiled. "What a naughty boy you are."

"I blame puberty," I shrugged, a little embarrassed by the fact she caught the innuendo. I turned my attention to the fallen, who was gritting her teeth as her last hope was snatched from her. "So. What are you planning to do with this thing?"

"Destroy it, of course," Rias told me as though it was the most natural thing in the world. I frowned, but nodded.

"Do you mind if I have a moment with it first?" I asked, studying the broken former angel carefully. "I had some questions I wanted answers to."

"I have no objections," Rias frowned but capitulated. "Though I would prefer if you made it quick."

"Do you expect me, Raynare of the Grigori, a superior being, to answer to you, magician?" Raynare snapped at me, and I glared back at her.

"No, Ms. Raynare, I expect you to die," I told her, trying for the Goldfinger accent, but suspecting I didn't quite make it. "Superior being? All I see here is a monster, something that prays on humanity. I hunt creatures like you. I kill them for fun, and profit. I enjoy my job, probably a little too much." My voice grew colder as I went on. "Anything that dares lift a hand against a mortal, will find me there, ready to cut that hand off." I closed my eyes, and braced myself for what I was about to try. "And I don't need you to talk to get my answer."

I opened my eyes, and Raynare met them defiantly.

The soulgaze began a moment later.

I saw her, Raynare, this creature that had once been an agent of god and was now just a monster praying on the innocent. I saw the way she chased after someone, a man, no, another fallen angel. I saw how she gazed with admiration at his back, how she had willingly thrown herself from grace to follow that back. I saw how she would be willing to do anything for this man:

Azazel.

Raynare was in love, I realized. She truly, fully, and to her very core, loved the one she had fallen for, figuratively and literally. She would do anything for him, no matter how depraved, if he asked for it, or even if she thought it would make him happy.

Even murder Ise after toying with him. Even murdering the girl Asia, torturing her to death for some reason I still wasn't clear on.

Terrible things were done in the name of love. It was love that had finally made me fall to the powers that coveted me in the end.

The gaze ended. It only lasted a moment. Even if it felt like an eternity, even if just like with the Sight it was a memory that could never be undone and would never fade, it was over so fast most would never even recognize it happened.

But the backlash of the gaze, the truth it revealed to me…

This thing in front of me. I had been able to gaze it. It had a Soul. Something only mortals should have, in this murderous creature. That meant it had agency, that it had free will.

It had a soul, hell's bells, she was even capable of love and human emotion.

If the Fallen could have those things, than could the devils have them too?

"W-what are you?" the strangled whisper brought me back from my racing thoughts. I focused, and realized that Raynare had turned white. Sweat was beading on her forehead. She was trembling, and she was staring at me like she had never seen anything more terrifying, as though she couldn't bear to be near me, as though she was frightened to her very core.

When you soulgazed, the other person got to see you too.

And I wasn't a very nice person these days.

"What…" Rias began, sounding confused as she looked back and forth between the fallen and I, but anything she might have said was drowned out as the fallen continued.

"Get it away from me," Raynare was trying to back away, to crawl and put distance between me, but she had started shaking too hard to properly make the motion. "Get it away, get it away, GETITAWAYGETITAWAY!"

"What happened?" Ise demanded, gawking at Raynare as all semblance of pride vanished and she started screaming.

"I got my answers," I told him bluntly, before glancing at Rias. The redhead was still alternating looks between me and the shrieking fallen, looking completely shocked at the change that had come over her. From her perspective, it had only been a second between when she was valiantly showing her defiance and being reduced to a gibbering wreck. She wouldn't have been able to see anything, wouldn't have known what to look for to identify a soulgaze, and probably didn't even know what one was. "Do you want to put her out of her misery, or should I?"

"I'll do it," Rias declared, recovering her composure at my question. Something… something black and red, some power I didn't recognize started to form in her hands.

"The Power of Destruction," the dark haired girl was also frowning, studying me as she tried to figure out what I had done. She at least seemed to notice my curiosity. "Buchou has a high quantity of it. It's why she's called the 'Crimson-Haired Ruin Princess', after all."

And I thought my titles were ominous.

"Ise! Ise! Save me! Don't let him take me!" Raynare screamed, turning to the boy. He flinched at the desperate pleading. "Don't let him take me!"

"Buchou," he whispered, turning his back on the fallen. "Do it."

A flash of dark and red, and Raynare was gone.

I made a note not to get hit by that power. Not until I could find a way to defend myself against it.

"…what did you do?" Koneko spoke up into the silence that settled on the room.

"Magic," I told her bluntly. A real wizard never revealed their tricks until they had to.

"That wasn't like any magic I've ever seen," Kiba frowned, and though he didn't look hostile he definitely seemed a bit more on guard than he had been a minute ago.

"Super-duper secret magic," I corrected him tiredly.

"Playing mysterious, are you?" the dark haired girl licked her lips slowly, smiling. "My, my. How intriguing…"

"It's like a drug," I admitted to my addiction to keeping secrets. "Trust me, it's a wizard thing." Then I frowned and looked at her pointedly. "Who are you, anyway?"

She blinked, and then, surprisingly, flushed. "Ah, how rude! I am called Himejima Akeno. Pleased to make your acquaintance."

"Really?" I couldn't help but ask, wondering how anyone could be pleased to meet someone who can apparently break the will of a higher being with a look. "Wow. You're a brave one, aren't you."

"Fufufufu," she giggled winking at me.

"Buchou," Ise whispered, and I glanced at him. He had recovered something from where Raynare had used to be, some kind of ring, and had put it back on the deceased Asia. If I had to make a guess, I would say it was the so far illusive 'Sacred Gear' that everyone kept talking about. "It's not fair. Why? Why would something like this happen to Asia? After everything she went through, to end like this…"

Rias studied him for a moment, before smiling slightly. "Ise," she began, pulling something out of her blouse. "Do you know what this is?"

"An Evil Piece?" he blinked, sounding surprised. My eyes narrowed slightly, and I started to get an idea of how this conversation was about to go.

"I never finished explaining what all the pieces are," Rias continued. "The final piece is the Bishop. It's for those who specialize in support or magic. If you'd like, I can resurrect that girl, and she can join my peerage."

"Y-you mean," the boy stammered, hope lighting in his eyes. "You mean you can save her!"

"Yes," Rias smiled. "Let me…"

She tried to move closer to the girl, and stopped, pulling up short as she found my staff, runes glowing, between her and the body.

"Stop," I told her, and she stared at me, surprised. She must have heard from my tone of voice just how serious I was.

"Dresden?" Ise gaped, staring at me as I put myself between Rias and where he was kneeling beside the body. "What are you doing? Buchou is going to save Asia! Why are you doing this?"

"Because she's not saving her," I told him, voice grim as I narrowed my eyes. The other devils were starting to spread out, surprise over me interfering giving way to cautious preparation as they seemed to realize the fighting might not be over yet, and that there next opponent could very well be me.

"She is!" Ise shouted, and even though I wasn't looking at him, I could hear tears in his voice. "Asia! Asia can be alive again!"

"But she would be a devil," I told him bluntly, before sighing. "Look, Ise, I feel sorry for the girl. I really do. It sounds like she got dealt a shit hand, and I know how that feels. But she got what everyone else gets: a life. And now that it's over, do you really have a right to interfere? Her soul will be judged, and if she is found innocent, than she will be welcomed into heaven. And if she gets turned into a devil, that means she'll be missing out on eternal freaking paradise. Do you want to deny her that chance?"

"B-but…!" Ise trailed off, shock sounding as I bluntly pointed out something he had probably never considered.

"So you've come down against devils after all?" Rias asked, frowning as she watched me closely.

"No, not really," I admitted with a grimace. "Everything I've seen indicates that you aren't as bad as I feared. So far, I even kind of like you guys. You seem reasonable, and you have a good sense of humor." My eyes narrowed. "Hells bells, I honestly don't even have a reason to keep you from changing people into devils either for that matter."

Because even if they were devils, from everything I've seen, they still have their souls, their free will, and they retain who they are. At this point, I was cautiously willing to accept the fact that in this world, devils weren't quite as bad as in my world.

"Then why are you interfering now?" Kiba spoke up, still polite even as he cautiously eyed me, no doubt judging the best opening.

"Because by doing it now, after she's dead, you're denying her the chance to choose," I told them. "If she was alive, and if she agreed, I'd already be waving my hand and heading home to catch up on some much needed sleep. But you're not letting her have that choice. She could already be on the fast track to paradise, and if you resurrect her as a devil you'll be literally dragging her away from that." My eyes narrowed. "And I won't stand by and let that happen."

Rias frowned, and glanced to the side to meet Akeno's eyes. The two seemed troubled by my reasons. Koneko hesitated as well, and the tiny girl seemed to relax slightly herself. Kiba sighed, closing his eyes for a moment, before opening them.

"Dresden-kun," he began, shaking his head. "I understand what you are saying, and why you are doing this. I can even say I find your reasons noble." He closed his eyes again. "But in this case, I fear that the chance you are fighting to preserve is wrong."

"What do you mean?" I asked, willing to let the other side talk, even hear their reasons. No guarantee I'll accept, but I can at least hear them out.

"Asia-san was excommunicated," he told me flatly, and I blinked. He gave me a somewhat bitter smile. "It seems that you have much faith in the church, but I fear that the church is not as fair a place as you believe. Apparently Asia-san was once heralded as a holy maiden, until she healed a devil. When that was found out, she was cast out. It was why she fled to the Fallen in order to survive." He opened his eyes, and gave me an apologetic smile. "I don't think heaven is what is waiting for her."

I wanted to deny him. I wanted to flat out tell him that regardless of what some haughty-taughty priest might say, if a person was good and deserved it, heaven awaited them.

But then again, that was how my world worked. Bizzaro world had already thrown a few curve balls at me.

I grimaced, and I don't think anyone missed how conflicted I was at that moment. Finally I groaned, and looked over my shoulder. I don't think any of them would attack me first. "Ise," I said, taking in the sight of the kid. He was crying again, and it looked like my words had reached him at least, because he seemed conflicted by whether or not resurrecting Asia really was the right thing to do. "I don't know her, or what being a devil is like. So I'm going to ask you: what do you think Asia would want?"

"S-she, she was good girl," Ise began softly staring at her face as he did so. "But she was innocent. She'd never even eaten hamburgers before. She was gentle enough to heal anyone around her, even someone who hurt her. But she seemed so happy when we spent the day together, as though learning about the world she didn't know made her excited." He swallowed, and then nodded, coming to a decision. He looked up, staring at me directly. "She would want the chance to live on, and see all those new things. She'd want the chance to make friends, and experience life! She would want to live!"

I scowled, but nodded. With a tired sigh, I lowered my staff.

"Empty night, I want this day to hurry up and be over," I muttered, before nodding at Rias. The redhead smiled, nodding back. She seemed pleased, not just at the chance to resurrect the girl but that I had been willing to negotiate and back down. "Just so you know, and again, I'm not trying to be antagonistic or anything but I can't think of a nicer way to put this, that if it turns out I'm wrong and you devils really are as bad as I thought, than I will hunt you all down and put you out of my misery."

"You seem to be a rather blunt fellow, aren't you, Dresden-kun," Kiba noted, though he was smiling and relaxed again.

"Also, same thing I said to Raynare goes to not just you but any devil, fallen angel, real angel, tooth fairy, mysterious jabberwocky, or whatever," I continued. "Any of you screw with a mortal, any of you do anything to a human against their will, and I'm taking it personally."

"I understand," Rias smiled at me pleasantly. "In truth, it is forbidden for devils to harm humans, outside of fulfilling their contracts. If you'd like, next time we have an order to hunt for a stray devil, we can invite you along."

"Swell," I mumbled. "Now if you don't mind, I've missed out on school the last couple of days, and its late. If I don't at least have my homework finished the teachers are going to rip me a new one."

Like I said. It sucked being a kid again.

"Erk!" Ise suddenly gulped. "I knew I was forgetting something!"

Akeno began to giggle at that, and even Kiba laughed a little too. Rias on the other hand took a quick step forward.

"Before you leave, Dresden-kun," she began and I cut her off.

"No, I will not join your peerage," I told her preemptively.

"How did you know…" Rias seemed surprised that I had guessed her intentions so easily.

"Because it's just been one of those nights, and I have plenty of experience with people about to make me offers like that," I shrugged. Rias frowned, but seemed willing to let it go. I got the impression that it was only for now though.

_I would have been very disappointed if they succeeded where I couldn't,_ Lash at least agreed with my decision.

'You were much more persuasive anyway,' I told her, and she chuckled at that.

***Scene Break***

'Okay,' I told myself, slapping my cheeks to try and psych myself up for this. 'You can do it, Dresden.'

_Indeed,_ Lash seemed amused. _After a long night of hunting monsters and killing exorcists, this, your final and most onerous task now awaits. Go forth, noble hero, and complete your quest, however perilous it might be._

'I think video games might be corrupting you, Lash,' I told her, before sighing. "Face the peril, Harry. Face the peril."

Gathering my will, I pushed open the door and marched in.

"Okay," I began, interrupting the Student Council meeting, "I may have been a little out of line with the 'hell tart' bit, okay?"

"Good evening, Dresden-kun," Sona didn't miss a beat as she took in my interruption. At her side, Tsubaki scowled, and at one end of the table Saji glared at me.

There were other girls present too, including the one who's name I never did end up getting. Most of them were scowling too, though one of them looked interested, and another just seemed confused. She must have been the one that didn't get the memo.

"Yeah," I continued on, "there's no way that someone as straight laced as you could ever pull off 'tart'."

"Thank you," Sona again managed to remain unflappable, though Tsubaki seemed completely caught off guard by the progression of the conversation. "I'm glad that you realized this. Now, was there anything else? We were having a meeting concerning the upcoming athletics meet."

"Oh, you're going to make me work for this, aren't you," I scowled at her, and I managed to make out the slightest upturn of her lips as the President proved unable to completely suppress her amusement.

Looks like Rias and her really do talk often. My guess is she had been expecting this intrusion.

"Who do you think you are, to just barge in here after you insulted the Kaichou!" Saji demanded, the hot blooded guy scowling. It looked like he really took offense to my earlier telling off.

"Look," I began, sighing, addressing the room as a whole. "The last time I was in here, I kind of ended up losing my temper and saying a whole lot of bad things. At the time, I was working off certain assumptions, assumptions that after investigation and consideration turned out to be false. I just wanted to apologize, and then admit that I was… w… wr…."

"Wrong?" Saji provided for me, sounding smug.

"Yeah, that's the word," I pointed at him, and he gaped as he suddenly realized that he had given me just the excuse I needed to not have to say it myself. I couldn't believe he fell for it personally. "So, with that being said, sorry I was dick last time."

"Apology accepted," Sona smiled at me, nodding regally as she did so. I grimaced, but rubbed the back of my head. I was apologizing, so I was trying to watch my smartassedry. "And seeing as you are a magician, I will relent about your carrying your staff around campus. Now, if you would only consent to following the dress code…"

"Sorry," I shrugged, already slipping back into our usual banter. "But that really is kind of necessary."

"Just what kind of scar do you have?" Tsubaki cut in, frowning as she eyed me. It sounded like even she was cutting me some slack now that I had proven myself to be a viable member of society, so to speak. I pursed my lips, before deciding that since they were all devils they could take it. "Just how bad… could it… be…?"

She trailed off as I pulled off my glove. A couple of the girls squeaked, and one of them turned a little white when my hand, which though greatly healed, still resembles something you'd find in a wax horror museum was displayed. Surprisingly, one of the girls actually leaned forward, looking interested.

"My goodness," Sona frowned, showing he was made of sterner stuff by merely sounding concerned. "I see. What on earth happened, Dresden-kun?"

"Vampire with a flamethrower," I sighed, putting the glove back on. Tsubaki blinked, and stared at me.

"You were being serious?" she asked, now sounding more curious than offended like she had been before.

"How exactly do you come across a vampire with a flamethrower?" even Saji seemed confused enough to let the normal hostility drop.

"And the funny part? That still doesn't even rate in the top ten." I grumbled. "It was nowhere near as weird as the coven of porn star sorceresses..."

"Porn star sorceresses?" the girl who's name I never got repeated, glancing at Sona as though to check if I was being real or not.

"Or the flock of pixies with switchblades…" I went on.

"Really now?" the girl who had been interested in my hand sounded intrigued.

"Or the time the werewolf put on a strip show…" I trailed off, suddenly feeling very, very depressed about my life. "You know what? I think I need to see the career counselor about the way my life is going."

"It's troubling that one of my fellow students has lived such a delinquent lifestyle," Sona agreed, though she had one hand up to cover what looked suspiciously like a laugh. I cocked a half grin at her, pleased that I had managed to get even through her serious personality. "Very well," she continued, fixing her glasses as she got herself back under control. "It does seem like we got off on the wrong foot on both sides. Then, perhaps it would be best if we started again?"

"Dresden Harry," I snapped a lazy salute as I grinned. "Wizard."

"Sitri Sona," Sona stood, curtseying politely. "Devil of the Sitri group."

"So that's your real name?" I asked, pursing my lips as I heard the change from her normal name.

_It seems Shitori is simply the easiest method to pronounce her name in Japanese,_ Lash mused idly. Then I felt some amusement welling in her. _My host…_

'What is it, Lash?' I began, musing on the name Sitri before I realized what it was that she had already caught up on.

"Wait," I gaped at her, pointing my finger in surprise. "'Sitri'. As in, Ars Goetia's 'Sitri'?"

"Ars Goetia?" Sona repeated, sounding confused for a moment. Then her eyes widened, and she sat down quickly, putting her face in her hands. She didn't make it in time before I caught an honest to god blush lighting her up.

"Kaichou?" Saji chimed in, sounding shocked at the sudden change in the usually impervious President's demeanor. "What is the Ars Goetia?"

"A medieval compendium of demons," I was too busy staring at Sona to really pay attention to him at the moment. "It lists seventy two species…" A small rustle went through the room at the number for some reason, and Tsubaki seemed genuinely interested in the book as well. "But it says that the Sitri was a demon which approached and could cause love between men and women, but could also cause people to become naked before them…" Finally, I couldn't stop myself from saying it bluntly. "You mean you're a demonic stripper?"

She slammed her hands down on the table, standing to her maximum height, and glared at me, though she was still blushing while she did so. "That's not it at all," she declared firmly, the red the only sign of her embarrassment as she began talk rapid fire like she was trying to shoot down my accusation. "It's just that my ancestor at the time was a woman of a somewhat unreserved nature, and much like the Power of Destruction or the Phenix's resurrection had a hereditary trait which made her well suited for those kinds of contracts…!"

She cut herself off quite suddenly, her cheeks brightening as she slapped both her hands over her mouth.

"If it's a hereditary trait than that means you have it to," I concluded, folding my arms as I nodded at my conclusion. "You really ARE a demon stripper! I mean, what do you tip a-!"

I was cut off as she snatched a file that had been sitting near her and somehow managed to throw it with precise accuracy so that it hit me right between the eyes, knocking me off my balance and flat on my back.

Huh. Probably should have seen that one coming.

_Smooth, my host,_ Lash laughed. _Smooth._


	2. Chapter 2

Beyond the Outer Gates Lies… Excalibur?

_Author's Notes: And here's another chapter of BtOGL. Just like with many of my other stories, this was originally published piece meal bit by bit as I had the time to write it, and when it was completed it was edited and posted. I'd been playing around with the idea for a while, so I had plenty of inspiration to write quickly. _

_Not much I want to point out here, so I'll just let you read it at your own pace. Enjoy, as Lash and Harry become the epitome of the buddy cop archtypes, Harry finds out how the other half lives, Lash shows that she has WAY too much free time on her hand, and Sona's peerage actually get screen time!_

_Also, there's some fighting and plot development, but who cares about that, really?_

***Story Start***

"Lash," I began, speaking out loud now that I was in the safety of my cramped one room mansion. "The lights are out."

"Indeed they appear to be," the voice that greeted me didn't sound like it was coming from inside my head, despite the fact that it technically was. It sounded like it was coming a few feet in front of me, though since it was dark I couldn't really see where the voice was coming from.

"I distinctly recall flicking the light switch," I noted, frowning as I tapped my foot. "In fact, I'm flicking it right now. Why aren't the lights on, Lash?"

"If I were to hazard a guess," my conversation partner chuckled softly, "it is because you are two months late on your electricity bill."

"Ah," I nodded to myself, folding my arms and sighing. "That would do it."

"Would you like me to…" the voice offered, and I nodded.

"Please," I told her politely. She was my roommate after all, and I'm not talking as in that she was currently staying in my cramped little apartment with me.

I meant she was in my head, literally.

Immediately after I encouraged her, it was as though a light switch flicked on in my brain. I knew that it was still technically dark in here, that nothing had physically changed. But to my brain, it appeared as though the light bulb in the center of the room had turned on, illuminating the room just like it normally was.

Thus was the power of Lash, former shadow of the fallen, current free spirit, pardon the pun, and a permanent resident inside my skull.

Kind of like Harvey, only without the bunny ears.

At least normally.

"Lash," I began, staring at the figure in front of me. Lash wasn't really there, was still currently inside me, manipulating my senses so that I could perceive the dark room around me as though it was lit. But just like she could alter my sight to make it appear as though the room was lighted, so too could she simply add an image of herself as well, just as easily.

Normally, she chose to manifest as a tall athletic woman, garbed in ancient Greek toga and with long blonde hair fluttering in the wind. All of that was the same, except for the garbing part.

"Yes, my host?" she smiled, leaning against the wall casually.

"Why are you in a bunny girl outfit?" I decided to ask bluntly.

Casually, she flicked one of the long white ears that was drooping in front of her imaginary face, folding her arms so that they rested under her breasts. Very nice breasts, even if they were imaginary. It was exceedingly easy to tell, considering the low cut leotard she was wearing. At her wrists were buttoned sleeve cuffs, not really attached to sleeves in the same way the collar on her neck wasn't attached to anything besides a tie that ended up disappearing into her cleavage. She even had the fishnet stockings and high heels.

"I have no idea what you're speaking of, Harry," she told me, smiling deviously. "Now, didn't you have a goal in mind?"

"Right," I sighed, stepping through the clutter of my room. Even if it was small, it showed obvious signs of me living there.

I had covered the floor with throw rugs, a homage to my old home before the Red Court had burned it to the ground, way before I had been locked beyond the Outer Gates repelling an Outsider invasion. Though before the rugs had just had whatever pattern I could find while now I had decided to stick with a Detective Conan theme.

I had a lot of sympathy for the little guy. I knew what it was like to be stuck solving everyone else's problems too. Also, the age thing seemed appropriate.

The walls I had decided to line with a number of different posters, pretty much whatever caught my eye. The true treasure of my room was the desk, sitting on one wall where I had managed to find an actual western style chair to go with it, and the show case that stood opposite it.

You don't want to know how hard it was to find all those Star War models, or how hard I had to dig to find their Star Treck counterparts out here in Japan, home of the Gundam, but I was pleased with how full I had managed to get it.

Though I could probably attribute the current lack of power to the 'Deep Space Nine' space station model that I was still in the middle of assembling. It had been a rather expensive impulse buy.

Worth it.

"I swear," I began as I crossed the room, bending over with what I was sure was a creak as my bruised body protested the movement to open the mini fridge that I had managed to cram into the tiny apartment. "I'm not sure if its Bizzaro world or just Japan, but I think you're being corrupted, Lash." I paused, before sighing. "How long has my power been out? All my ice cubs are melted."

"It has been a day or two since we last returned," Lash commented, sounding like she was moving around behind me. "And the billing cycle ended around that time. Most likely, it would be best to throw out the rest of the fridge as well."

"Great," I muttered, feeling my eye twinge as the bruise there continued to tell me it wasn't going away anytime soon. "At least I have cup ramen…"

"It isn't healthy to eat only cup ramen," Lash reminded me. "You are, after all, a growing boy."

"And whose fault is that?" I reminded her, straightening to begin my quest for edible substances stored somewhere in my tiny apartment. I paused as I stared at her. "Is that Major Kusanagi now?"

"Indeed," Lash seemed pleased that I had caught it. "It seemed appropriate."

"'Ghost in the Shell'? Yeah, that sums us up to a 'T'," I agreed, watching as, once more in a leotard with boots and gloves, Lash helpfully pointed to where I had last stored my emergency food supply.

"And if I were to name a point where I feel my corruption began," Lash continued, settling herself down in my chair and crossing her legs adroitly, "It would probably be the point where you first picked up my originator's coin."

"What can I say?" I shrugged, not feeling the least bit repentant over the fact that I had effectively tempted away the shadow of a creature older than time itself through sheer bull headed stubbornness. "I'm a good influence."

"Oh Harry," she laughed, smiling at me fondly. Then she continued. "You do realize that with the power off, the microwave won't be working?"

"Oh. Yeah," I frowned, "I was wondering why it wasn't beeping when I hit the buttons."

"Perhaps it might be best if we settled with the company?" Lash suggested, and I grimaced.

"I'd love to," I told her, before pulling the chair she was sitting on and plopping myself down in it, ignoring the fact that she was sitting there. She wasn't really real, after all. "But considering how the last job went…"

I paused, and turned to give her a flat look.

"Why does it feel like I'm sitting in your lap?" I asked her, somewhat redundantly. I had thought she would just take the hint and change her imaginary location, but to all my senses, it felt like I was sitting on something soft, pleasant smelling, and with two very noticeable bulges pressing against my back.

"Now, Harry," she whispered in my ear, and I felt arms embrace me from behind. "I believe this is what is known as 'Skinship'."

"I think it's definitely the Japan part that's corrupting you," I muttered, before suppressing a shiver at just how good the imaginary friend behind me smelled.

It had been a long, LONG time since I'd been with a woman. Even if she was just a voice in my head, if the sensation of something warm and soft wrapping around me was just her manipulating my nerve endings from inside my brain, it still felt good.

Damn hormones.

In the old days, when Lash had been a genuine danger of damnation, I wouldn't have let things go as far as they were right now. I would have locked her down, forced her to the back of my mind, and soldiered on with my lonely, lonely life.

It wasn't the old days anymore. So I let the charade continue.

Double damned hormones.

"Still," Lash continued, knowing my conflict and knowing my decision to let her continue playing with me, and smiling at my subtle permission to continue. "You should probably do something about the bill soon."

"Why?" I mumbled between mouthfuls of noodles. "It's not like I had electricity back before. I can deal with cold showers, and I mostly live off of convenience store food anyway. And if it's one less bill to pay…"

"Hmmm," Lash hummed thoughtfully at my complete lack of concern over our loss of power. "Well, if you're sure. Perhaps your website might have a job request waiting as well…"

"Good idea…" I trailed off, realizing her point. Blankly, I stared at my laptop, which as though to emphasize her point was auspiciously black from lack of power.

"Well crap," I summed it up bluntly.

***Scene Break***

"Harry!" Ise shouted, gawking as I made it in to school the next day. "What happened to you?"

"Shhh!" I put a finger to my mouth, glancing around as I attempted my best to stealthily plug my laptop into a nearby wall outlet in the unused classroom I was lurking in, hoping no one would notice as I stole school electricity to recharge its batteries. "Not so loud."

"But, your eye!" Ise continued, sounding panicked as he leaned over, to peer at the bruised organ. I had checked in the mirror earlier, and by now I was sporting a spectacular shiner. Really, I was half way to looking like the time a Gruff had kicked my face in. "Did you get in a fight or something?"

"No, seriously, be quiet," I told him, getting nervous the longer the conversation went on. "If she finds out what I'm doing I will never hear the end of it. I swear, she practices nagging at home…"

"Who practices what now?" I stiffened at the voice that came from behind me, and Ise blinked at the change in my expression.

"Sona!" I pasted a happy smile on my face, turning to face the newest speaker. "My, how lovely to see you today! Did you do something different with your hair? It looks even lovelier than normal! I'm not sure how something like that is even possible considering how gorgeous it normally looks…"

My attempt at flattery was met and blocked by the glare from her glasses.

Shitori Sona, or more precisely, Sitri Sona, was, of all things, a devil. That was something that took a bit of getting used to, but frankly, I was the kind of guy who was used to getting used to things.

Beyond that she was also, in order from least relevant to most relevant, the President of the Student Council of Kuoh Academy, a stringent stickler for following the rules, a person with little tolerance to trouble makers, and rather short.

Frankly, I would honestly admit to liking the girl. She reminded me of Murphy in many ways, and Murphy will always top my list of 'good people', no matter what dimension I'm in.

But that didn't change the fact that I was a guy with little regard for the rules, a known trouble maker, and incredibly tall.

Even the Vice President of the Student Council, Tsubaki, who towered above the rest of her classmates at the impressive height of six foot one couldn't match my six foot five.

And the sad part? I knew I had another three inches in me, at least.

Still, despite the fact that I'm pretty sure Tsubaki would agree wholeheartedly with whatever it was Sona decided to dress me down for, she still smiled slightly and nodded when I glanced at her.

Then she frowned, taking in the same shiner that had caused Ise to give me away in the first place.

"It's really that bad looking, isn't it?" I sighed as even Sona hesitated in starting her dressing down, peering up at me as she took in the black eye.

"What on earth happened to you?" a touch of concern making itself known as she frowned, folding her arms as she studied me. "You look as though…"

"My face met the business end of a baseball bat in a backstreet brawl after a freshly dumped douche bag jumped me for giving his girlfriend the ammunition she needed to dump him?" I supplied helpfully.

"That…" she trailed off, eying me with a slightly confused expression. "That was an oddly specific example…"

"It's because my face did meet business end of a baseball bat in a backstreet brawl after a freshly dumped douche bag jumped me for giving his girlfriend the ammunition she needed to dump him," I confirmed for her, rubbing the tender flesh gently.

Sona sighed, pinched the bridge of her nose, and then took the step she was obviously dreading to take. "Dresden-kun. What did you do?"

"Why do you sound like you're resigning yourself to hearing something idiotic?" I grumbled, and then I held up a hand, stopping Tsubaki even as she began to open her mouth. "Don't bother. I set myself up for whatever you're about to say." She closed her mouth looking rather disappointed. "Er, so some first year hired me the other day: something or other Kurenai. She had heard that I do investigations and things, and she was suspicious that her boyfriend was cheating on her. It was a job, so I took it. Anyway, long story short, after two days of following him I ended up with pictures of him with three other girls, and when I gave them up to the client, she dragged me with her to confront her soon to be ex, and then told him we were having an affair and kissed me to make him jealous."

"Really now?" Tsubaki at least seemed interested, no doubt enjoying the thought of a fellow young woman getting her comeuppance on her cheating ex. Sona's frown grew, and her eyes narrowed at me for some reason.

"I totally should have charged her extra for that," I grumbled, grimacing at the memory. Don't get me wrong. Kurenai had been a cute enough girl. It's just that she was also sixteen, and getting kissed by her made me feel like some sort of scumbag pedophile.

Especially when my body decided that it liked the sensation. Stupid body.

"Anyway, another long story short, afterwards when I was walking home, newly statused ex-boyfriend had got a few of his friends and jumped me." I pointed at my eye. "And thus, the battle damage."

"Wait," Ise stared at me, looking confused. "Aren't you a wizard? How could a couple of normal human students end up giving you a black eye?"

"What was I supposed to do to them?" I countered, throwing my hands in the air in frustration. "They were just a couple of kids. It's not like I could incinerate them, or encase them in ice or anything. I ended up tripping a few them up, than I beat it while they were getting back to their feet. Probably gonna have to do that a few more times before they get the picture that I'm not an easy target."

"It sounds like you have it tough," Tsubaki at least commiserated with me, smiling slightly at the hardships we wizards went through.

"I will investigate this matter myself," Sona's frown grew even more, though she seemed to be glaring less at me at this point. "It wouldn't do to have students bullying others, regardless of how well the student they're targeting can take care of themselves." She paused, and then her frown lessened and she gave me a brief nod. "And I appreciate your restraint while dealing with them. It seems that you did well under the constraints you have to deal with." She even gave me small smile at that, just a twitch of her lips. "But that doesn't explain why you, as a student, were working a part time job even though it is against the school rules. Nor does it explain that."

She pointed at the plug I had hoped she hadn't noticed, and I sheepishly laughed as I rubbed the back of my head.

"Funny you should mention both of those together," I glanced to the side awkwardly. "You see, the electricity in my apartment was shut off, and so I need to do the jobs to get enough to get it back on. And since I schedule most of my work through my website, I needed to recharge my batteries, so I brought my laptop in today…"

"Confiscated," Sona declared, cutting me off without a second thought.

"No, wait, I really need that in order to live! As in, I will literally starve if I don't work!" I panicked, and I swear, it might have been a trick of the light, but I thought I saw her hesitate.

"It will still be confiscated for now," she continued a moment later, crushing that delusion beneath her flat soled indoor shoes. "However, you can reclaim it after school at the Student Council meeting room."

I turned and gave Ise a flat look. "I blame you for this, I'll have you know."

"Er," Ise didn't quite look like he knew how to take that statement, and he grinned awkwardly, rubbing the back of his head. Then he blinked, and tapped a fist against an open palm as he apparently remembered something. "Oh, right! That's what I was looking for you for! Dresden, you remember how you mentioned having a voice in your head was fine as long as it wasn't yours?"

"Well, yeah," I blinked, not quite sure where this was coming from, but enjoying the way both Sona and Tsubaki both seemed like they had no idea how to respond to a statement like that.

"Well I get it now," Ise nodded seriously as he folded his arms. "Because now I have one in mine, and I was hoping you had some pointers for how to deal with it."

I swear. In unison. Kaichou and Fuku-Kaichou both blinked.

"Well, lead on Senior Quixote," I prompted him, having already written off my laptop for the time being, and taking secret pleasure in cutting the two of them off right when they had no idea what was going on. "I'll be happy to give advice to my adorable junior."

"We're in the same grade," Ise didn't even notice just how confused the other two were as he started walking away, falling into step beside me. "And while we're at it, let's have Asia-chan look at the eye. She should get it healed up in no time."

"I'd bless you if you weren't a devil," I told him, and I meant it.

***Scene Break***

"There!" Argento Asia declared, the blonde girl straightening as she beamed at me. "All done!"

"Sister, you are an angel of mercy," I told her as I sighed, probing the newly healed bruise with a moan of relief.

"It's fine," Asia declared, still beaming at me radiantly.

The first time I had met Asia, she had been busy having her Sacred Gear ripped out of her body by a self-absorbed fallen angel, right before she died.

It was a pretty crappy first meeting. It very nearly was our last. Devils, and I still can't believe how much time I spend around them, or just how much they're proving to be one of the most reasonable non-human species I've ever had to deal with, have the ability to resurrect the newly dead as members of the peerage, a sort of cross between servants and comrades that was meant as a means to repopulate the nearly extinct species.

If you're not following a lot of this, trust me, I totally understand where you're coming from. It took me a bit to accept it, but devils, as a whole, weren't bad people.

I'm sure there are a few assholes out there in the species, but the same could be said about humanity, in the end.

Anyway, I had been against Asia being resurrected, mostly on the principle that if she was her soul would never have the chance to enter heaven and find paradise. At the advice of Hyoudou Issei, who preferred to just be called Ise, another new devil that I was reasonably well acquainted with, I had let the ritual go through.

Thus was born the new devil Asia. I had been leery, but so far, I hadn't regretted not interfering.

Asia was, to put it bluntly, the most adorable, happy, and innocent young girl I had ever come across. Just being in the same room as her made me want to buy her ponies, dolls, lacy and frilly dresses, and all manners of cute stuffed animals. More than that, she had such a genuine and unbelievable curiosity, an eagerness to experience all life had to offer, that even I felt lighter in her presence.

Yeah. Even me.

Also, the fact was that she had a Sacred Gear, apparently some sort of blip in the cosmic system of this universe that allowed normal everyday humans to gain some kind of power or ability. I was still a little leery on the details, seeing as I literally had no parallel for something like that from my world. Asia's Sacred Gear was called 'Twilight Healing', and just like it said on the tin it was a healing power that I really, really wished I had had around on some of my more dangerous escapades.

"Thank you, Asia-chan!" Ise beamed at the girl, and her face went red as she smiled back, bashfully tapping the toe of her shoes on the ground.

Girl had it bad and even I could see it. Good for Ise, I guess.

"So," I began, still checking to make sure my eye really had returned to its undamaged state. "What's this I hear about a voice in your head?"

This time, even Asia blinked. Ise didn't seem to notice, and just nodded folding his arms as he frowned.

"Well," he began slowly, "ever since I sold my left arm to a dragon to get the power I needed to stop Buchou from having to marry that fried chicken bastard, I keep having weird dreams about a giant dragon interrupting me during my honeymoon. And then, the other day, when I woke up and went to get some water, it actually spoke to me! So I just thought I'd ask you if you have any pointers for how to deal with having a voice in your head."

This time, I blinked.

Then I blinked again.

"So this is how it felt, all those years, whenever I tried to explain what was going on to someone who was just getting clued in," I rubbed my chin, savoring the epiphany.

***Scene Break***

"So that's what happened," I sighed, considering the explanation Ise had kindly provided. I had had no idea that that kind of thing was going on.

In summation, it turned out that Ise had a really powerful Sacred Gear, so powerful it was called a Longinus, something with the power to kill even a god. Technically, I knew how to kill a god too, but that was back in my home world where that was a lot harder to do. Apparently out here in Bizzaro World, anyone could kill a god if they had the strength apparently.

Wasn't sure which world was better off in that regards, truth be told.

Anyway, in a series of events which for once had nothing to do with me at all, Ise's King Gremory Rias, the devil that had changed him and brought him into her peerage who was also a smoking hot babe, had had an arranged marriage she wasn't too keen on and had tried to get out of via a war game that devils played for fun and excitement known as the Rating Games. When that hadn't worked, Ise had decided to dig himself in deep, and had contacted the spirit of what was apparently a dragon so powerful that even the forces of heaven and hell had been leery about back when they were free, transforming his arm into a the limb of a dragon as well, letting him knock down the door, kick ass and take names, scoop up his princess, and ride out with her into the night.

On a griffon.

"I'm actually surprised that at no point in this train of events I ended up getting involved," I finally admitted. "Normally whenever something goes that pear shape I'm usually at ground zero. It's kind of refreshing really."

"Buchou had wanted to call you," Ise admitted, grinning, "but since this was supposed to be a devil only thing and you weren't a member of her peerage she couldn't." His grin faded a bit, and he peered at me. "Why don't you want to be a devil anyway, Dresden? It's really not that bad."

"Sorry," I told him, not sorry at all really. "But I like being mortal. I think I'll stick with it."

"Anyway," Ise continued, shrugging as he bought my reasons. "Now that Ddraig is talking to me, I was just wondering if you had any advice for dealing with voices in your head."

"Um," Asia spoke up, looking between the two of us slowly. "Do you really have a voice in your head, Dresden-kun?" she asked cautiously.

"Yup," I sighed, "and recently, she's begun cosplaying. I fear for her continued sanity."

I felt something warm, and looked over to realize that Asia's hands were glowing green as she put them to my forehead.

"Don't worry, Dresden-kun!" she declared sternly as she made her war face. It looked kind of like what I'd expect to find on a kitten that had just gotten serious with that ball of yarn it was always wrestling. "I'll fix whatever's wrong with you!"

"That," I began, not sure how to deal with someone so obviously considering me insane. You'd think I'd be experienced with that kind of thing by now. "That's sweet of you, Asia," I told her with a sigh. "But it's not me being crazy. I really do have a voice in my head, and it's not mine."

"Actually, I'm really curious," Ise frowned giving me a curious look as Asia continued, unswayed by my somewhat less than satisfactory explanation. "I know that I have Ddraig, and that he's locked in my Sacred Gear, but just what is the voice you have, Dresden?"

"I contracted an ancient spirit of knowledge and magic, and allow it to live in my head in order to be able to receive its assistance," I told him, shrugging, and Asia blinked, letting the glow die down as she contemplated my explanation.

_An ancient spirit,_ Lash sighed, _Oh, how the mighty have fallen._

'I get what you did there, with the fallen pun,' I told her seriously. 'Not bad.'

"Really?" Asia frowned cutely, looking at me carefully. "Er, is that the truth? It sounds so weird…"

"You tell me," I told her, "after all, how else would we be speaking ancient Thessalonian right now?"

"Eh!" Asia chirped, looking shocked as she realized that yes, we really were speaking a dead language and she didn't even realize it.

"Huh," Ise rubbed his head. "So that's how you do it." Then he blinked, staring at me. "Wait, so that means…"

"That means?" I prompted him, not sure quite where he was going with the revelation.

"That means you get to cheat on all your tests!" he cried, pointing at me in outrage, and I grinned slightly.

"Well duh," I told him smugly. "If you ain't cheating, you ain't trying. How else am I supposed to keep my grades up with the hours I hold?"

"That's so unfair!" Ise moaned, holding his head, before he glared at his arm suddenly. "Ddraig! How come you don't help me on tests!"

He paused, and then slumped as he apparently got an answer. "Stupid dragon…" he muttered as the answer was apparently less than satisfactory.

"Ummm," Asia chimed in, frowning at me most sternly. It made me want to pat her head. "Cheating is bad!"

"Never claimed to be on the side of angels," I shrugged. "And aren't you devils cheating in English class too? For shame!"

The girl actually did look ashamed of herself, and I felt as though I had kicked a puppy.

"So anyway," Ise seemed to shake off his earlier disappointment at his voice not being as cool as mine. "Any advice?"

"I'm not really sure how much our voices have in common," I admitted, scratching my chin. "Can yours cause audio, visual, or sensory hallucinations?" Ise blinked, cocked his head, and generally gave off the impression that he had no idea what that question meant. "Can it make you hear, see, or feel things that aren't really there?" I tried again, and he brightened, before shaking his head in the negative. "Does it ever try to tempt you with the promise of power to make dangerous bargains that could endanger your soul, sanity, or life?"

"Well," Ise began, glancing at his arm sheepishly. "Just the once so far. And I was the one who went to him…"

"Just a heads up on that," I confided in him, "but you probably don't want to do too many of those. Still, it got you a girlfriend, so I guess you got your mileage out of it."

"Girlfriend?" he blushed, before shaking his head quickly and putting his arms up defensively. "Wait! Buchou isn't a girlfriend or anything! She's just really affectionate, as a master! Just because she's living with me, and she likes to sleep naked…"

I stared at him as he cut himself off, than stared at Asia from where she had stepped on his foot unexpectedly. I had meant to imply that Asia was the girlfriend, but it seems things might be more complicated for the other boy than I had first though. "Stars and stones," I muttered. "When does the wizard get the chicks? Seriously, I've pulled stunts a dozen times crazier than that off and I never ended up with a hot demon girl sleeping with me naked…" I grimaced. "Though Lara offered often enough…"

"Anyway," Ise continued still hopping as he did so. "So no more deals unless I really have to. Anything else?"

"I'm not really sure how much else our voices have in common. I mean, yours is a dragon, and it resides in your Sacred Gear," I paused, scratching my head. "Er, does it draw its power from the Gear itself, or is it secretly absorbing your soul or some other important energy to power itself?"

"My soul!" Ise yelped, now glaring at his arm again. "Ddraig…" he paused, before relaxing. "No, he's just in the gear." Then he paused, looking at me carefully. "Wait, you said yours lives in your head. Then where does it get its power?"

"I went with the soul option myself," I admitted, and Asia gasped as she realized what I was saying. "She only uses a bit of it and it grows back faster than she uses it, so it's cool."

"It grows back?" I was getting used to the sight of Ise confused, so when he suddenly stopped looking that way and narrowed his eyes in an intense look of concentration I was surprised. It was a bit unusual for him. "Wait. You keep saying 'she'."

"Yeah," I admitted, not sure why he was focusing so much on that. Technically, Lash was genderless I supposed, but she identified as a female so that's how I thought of her. "She's a woman."

"…" Ise leaned forward, an intense look of scrutiny on his face. "How big are her oppai?"

"Pardon?" I deadpanned back, somewhat surprised that I hadn't seen that one coming given what I knew of the other boy.

"Her oppai. Are they big?" Ise continued, leaning even closer. "And can you touch them?" Then he winced as Asia began pinching his cheek.

"Actually, yes," I sighed, palming my forehead. "To both questions." The two devils froze, staring at me. "I did mention she could make me feel things that weren't there, didn't I? Also, she's smoking hot."

"Ooooh!" I swear to god, he began to cry then and there. "Why! Why do you have a gorgeous spirit with oppai that you can touch and I have this stupid dragon! Why! Why is the world so unfair!"

"Oh, and she's standing right behind you," I went on, looking so innocent that if he hadn't been busy panicking there was no way he would have believed me. "And she's starting to take off her top…"

"Where! Maybe if I try, I can feel them too!" Ise shouted, and began flailing about in an absurd attempt to touch the spirit living in my head's chest.

"Stop! Ise! You can't!" Asia started to flail around too, though it looked like she was trying to keep the boy from touching said spirit. "If you want to touch breasts, you can always touch mine!"

_Normally, I would be offended at you ascribing actions to me that I have not taken,_ Lash noted. _But considering the amusement I derive from this scene, I approve._

'Thought you would,' I nodded in agreement as I watched the two put on a show. "Oh! Wait! She's starting to unhook her bra! It's lacy and see through too!"

***Scene Break***

"You really got jumped behind a convenience store?" One of the girls of the student council, a member of Sona's peerage sounded amused as she watched me work. Her name was Yura Tsubasa, if I remember correctly. Out of all the members of Sona's peerage, she was the one who was friendliest with me, and we had spoken a few times in the past.

"It happens," I sighed, filling another envelope with whatever it was that the Student Council was sending out to the students. After school I had reluctantly reported to the Council Room, and Sona allowed me to recharge my computer, but only as long as I did some extra work that had been piling up. It wasn't a bad deal, all things considered, so I had gone along with it.

It wasn't like I had a problem hanging around the Student Council room, after all. Now that that hatchet had been buried between me as a yankee and Sona as the Kaichou, she was a lot easier to be around.

It also let me fish for whatever information I could get about the supernatural powers in this new world. I'd probably learned more in the last few weeks than I had in the year and half I'd been looking on my own.

"So not only do you get a black eye, but you also end up running away?" Saji, the only other male besides me who ever seemed to show up in the room. As the only male member of Sona's peerage and the Student Council, you'd think he would be a little more welcoming of having another man around, but for some reason he never quite seemed to warm up to me. He'd toned down the picking of fights, but he still seemed as though he was carrying a grudge against me for snapping at his master back before. "What kind of wizard are you?"

"The smart kind," I told him. "You won't believe how many times running away has saved my skinny butt, and it isn't like I can just go around smiting people that annoyed me. Trust me, I've carefully considered the pros and cons, and most of the times the cons win the list."

"Why's that?" Tsubaki chimed in, handing me another pile of envelopes as I finished the one I was working on. "You have a great deal of power, as a magician, after all," she continued, picking her own pile up as she worked quickly and efficiently as well. "There are many who consider it shameful to run away from a fight."

"It's not like I have anything to prove," I rolled my eyes. "And just because you can get into a fight doesn't always make it right. But it looks like I got to give you all the same explanation I gave the Gremory group as to why I avoid fighting when I can: I'm squishy."

"What do you mean by that?" Tsubasa prompted, frowning as she went about her own task, which was apparently feeding paper into the printer as it spewed out endless copies of the fliers I was currently folding and stuffing into envelopes.

"Look, Tsubasa, you're a Rook right?" I prompted her, trying to remember if I got the piece right, and she nodded in response. "So you have super strength and toughness, as in you can bend a steel support beam with your bare hands, or something like that?"

"Yes," Tsubasa continued, nodding as she agreed readily enough with my estimation of her ability. I had found out later that Koneko, the tiny little adorable loli, also had that piece, and I had seen her toss around things that weighted like ten times what she did. "That sounds about right…"

"Now consider what you could do to me if I got close enough to let you get ahold of me?" She smiled slightly for some reason at that, but she nodded to prove she got the point. "The fact is, I'm just a mortal, and unlike you devils, I'm a lot less damage resistant." Not one hundred percent true, but they didn't need to know about my own power boost via service to the Winter Courts. "And that holds true to a lot of the creatures and demons and things that are out there. I'm pretty much a glass canon: I can dish out a lot of damage, but I can't take nearly as much as I can give. So, best answer to that? Be able to get far enough away from whatever ghoul I'm facing so that they don't have the chance to give me that damage."

"Hence, why you participate in the track team, even if you won't compete?" Tsubaki concluded for me, and I nodded.

"Besides, a lot of fights I get into are kind of pointless," I continued with a sigh. "You won't believe the number of creatures out there that go around looking for someone to fight just for the fun of it, or to help build them a reputation, or for some other stupid reason. Why would I want to get in a punching match with someone who just wants to show off to his friends how easy it is for him to take on a wizard or something?"

"A smart policy," the voice behind me let me knew that Sona had made it back. I glanced at the shorter girl as she made her way back to her desk, though she gave me a careful look to make sure I wasn't slacking off, the slave driver.

"Kaichou!" Saji's mood immediately improved. I was like ninety percent sure at this point that he had it bad for his boss, and my sympathies went out to him for it. Sona didn't seem like the type to enjoy such frivolous things as 'fun' or 'a good time' and most definitely not 'a boyfriend'. A bit sad to see someone so young married to their work, but it suited her in a way.

"Saji," Sona glanced at him with a nod. "Go ahead and clean up. We will be visiting the Occult Research Club shortly. Rias has agreed it's time to introduce her new peerage to other devils, and as the newest yourself this will be a chance for you to meet her Pawn and her Bishop."

"Right!" Saji immediately started putting his own stack of papers into mine, and I scowled at him for contributing to my work pile. "So who are they?"

"Hyoudou Issei and Argento Asia," Sona supplied for him, and I sneakily tried to put some of my work into Tsubaki's pile. Without looking, she put it right back in mine.

"The pervert and the blonde exchange student?" Saji sounded surprised at the identities of his fellow devils.

"Please act with more courtesy when you meet them," Sona didn't sound pleased at hearing him talk ill of her fellow devil. "And Dresden-kun?"

"I swear, I'm not planning on stealing my laptop and ditching the moment you're gone," I told her with a pleasant smile.

"Tsubaki, guard the laptop until Dresden-kun finishes his work," Sona adjusted told her without missing a beat. Tsubasa giggled as I scowled. "I was actually hoping to discuss something with you. What's this I hear about you cheating?"

"Oh come on, doesn't the kid know anything about the guy code?" I grumbled, surprised at just how quickly the President had caught wind of that little bit.

"As I understand it, Argento-san was the one who informed Rias," Sona corrected me, and I gave a small cheer that at least I could count on Ise to keep a secret if I needed him to. "When Rias asked, he sounded more concerned about the 'invisible woman with huge oppai eating Dresden's soul'."

"Man, when he puts it like that it sounds so negative," I noted, shrugging.

"You know," Tsubasa commented, tapping her chin thoughtfully, "if I hadn't gotten to know Dresden-kun better these last few days, I might almost dismiss the whole thing as impossible." She giggled slightly. "So, how much of it is real?"

"Well, technically, it's an ancient spirit of knowledge and power that I made a bargain with to provide safety and sustenance by allowing her to use some of my life energy to reside in my body," I grumbled. "It's actually genderless, but prefers taking the shape of a woman, partly because I think she enjoys cosplaying a little too much for her own good. And if you're having trouble believing any of that, consider what language we're speaking."

"I was wondering how you were proficient enough in Hebrew to be using it conversationally," Sona noted, and Saji yelped as he realized that we had strayed that far from Japanese without him noticing. "You will refrain from using the spirit during tests."

"Sorry, no," I shook my head regretfully. "After everything I went through to get her in there, I'm not going to pass up getting to use the benefits."

"A test's meaning it to determine how well the student has studied and retained the knowledge that class has been imparting to them," Sona's eyes narrowed, and I got the impression that she was speaking something she considered very, very important in her own world view.

"And my preparation for that test was going out and contracting a powerful spirit to help me finish it," I countered, shrugging as I did so. "Some people use flashcards, others use rhymes, and I use spirits. So far, my method has proven to be a lot more reliable."

"Dresden-kun," Sona frowned at me, and I realized that she was actually upset by my flippancy. Not just annoyed, or unhappy with my response, but that my response genuinely offended her. I paused in my letter stuffing, and got the impression that the conversation had just taken a turn to the serious. "Education is more than just being able to fill out a sheet, or knowing the appropriate ways to memorize information, regardless of the method you use to memorize." She gave the closest expression she could to a scowl as she gave me a, for Sona, passionate glare. "It is a way of learning how to live your life, how to invest your efforts, and how to accomplish your goals. Now. Please discontinue your use of your familiar to cheat on your tests. I may not be able to force you, but I'm certain a boy of your talents has parents aware of them, and I will contact them if I must."

I paused a moment, cocking my head to the side as I realized something.

"Wow," I muttered. "You really didn't do your homework."

"And what do you mean by that?" Sona straightened, and looked genuinely offended by my jab.

"I don't have parents," I shrugged, not knowing how else to put it. "I had a half-brother once, but he's gone now." I sighed. If there was anyone I missed as much as Karin in my old world, it was Thomas. He'd made it to the end, fighting beside me all the while, and it was only the fact that he had Justine waiting for him back in the world that kept him from being right next to me when I went to face the Walkers and locked the Gate behind me.

"Wait," Saji broke in, and for once the other boy didn't seem like he was picking a fight. "So then, who are your guardians? Are you staying with relatives or something?"

"Don't got any of those either," I shook my head and shrugged again. "Technically, I'm a ward of the state, though I'm emancipated and living mostly off welfare. So as long as you pay your taxes, I should be good." I paused, and realized something before frowning. "Devils do pay taxes, right?"

"Only on our ventures in the human world," Sona admitted, though she seemed a lot less certain of herself while she did so. "Dresden-kun," she began, her tone a lot softer than it was before. "Earlier, you mentioned that if you didn't have your laptop, than you wouldn't be able to eat…"

"Got to find some way to make ends meet?" I offered, shrugging it off. I'd been orphaned once, back when I was a preteen. Again, after my mentor tried to mentally enthrall me and I burnt him to the ground for it. I guess again, when I made it here and had to navigate my way through the Japanese welfare system.

You got used to it.

Sona was quiet for a moment. Actually, check that, the whole room was quiet for several very long moments. I glanced about, and realized that Saji was looking away and biting his lip. Tsubaki had the look that only someone who had gone away to their own very bad place could have, and Tsubasa had her eyes closed, an intense look of concentration on her face.

"What?" I asked the room at large, not quite sure why everyone had gone quiet. "Was it something I said?"

"I understand that your power has been cut off?" Sona spoke up, rubbing her forehead slightly. "As soon as your laptop is finished, you can call it a day. I have no objection to you using the school to recharge your batteries, but I do have to insist that you at least volunteer some effort to repaying the school's cost. If you need to recharge again, contact me and I will find something that needs to be done in return. In the meantime, I will ask you to not use your familiar during test periods, and will entreat the spirit itself not to assist you if I must."

"Er," I began, not quite sure what was going on, but recognizing a free pass when I saw it. "I can deal with most of that…"

_My host,_ Lash interjected, and I paused, blinking in surprise at her tone. _If I may?_

'If you may what?' I asked, honestly surprised by the sudden interjection. I mean, Lash spoke up all the time, but normally I have a clue what she was intending. I really couldn't see any kind of prompt here, and had no idea just what she was asking permission for.

_That one,_ and between one moment and the next, I was the only one who could see the newest face that joined the table, sitting between Yura and Saji as though she had been there all along. Lash pointed, a delicate finger indicating towards where Sona was still waiting for my response. _If I may, I would speak with her._

"Lash," I muttered, my eyes narrowing as the shadow of the fallen indicated that she, for the first time ever, desired to communicate with anyone besides me. "What are you planning?"

_Do not worry, my host,_ the shadow smiled at me, dimples and all. _I just wish to have, what is the phrase? A woman to woman talk with that one._

"And I'm officially freaked out," I decided, before blinking and realizing that just about everyone in the room had a confused or disturbed expression on their faces as I started talking to myself. "Sorry," I apologized halfheartedly, before sighing and focusing on Sona. "Congratulations. The ancient spirit I mentioned wants to talk to you. That probably counts as a bad thing. You might want to leave the room, quickly, and not let yourself be seen with me anywhere but open public places with plenty of witnesses."

"Eh?" Sona seemed surprised, blinking as she took in my words. "And that is because…"

"I never said the spirit living in me was nice," I scowled. "I'll leave it up to you. If you want, I'll let her speak, but you should be careful. I trust her now, with my life and soul, but that's just me. There's no guarantee she'll be as gentle to you."

"And what does she wish to discuss?" Sona asked cautiously. She definitely had a head on her shoulders if she wasn't rushing head first into the chance to have a conversation with a shadow of a fallen, even if she didn't know just what was laying in me.

Also, her question mad me flush and scratch my head. "She said something about a woman to woman talk?"

I was more than a little confused when Sona's eyes narrowed to slits and she frowned. "I think that I do wish to speak with her, this ancient spirit of yours," she declared firmly. I was further confused when Tsubasa also leaned forward and Tsubaki joined her.

Saji at least looked as clueless as I was.

"Well…" I hedged, not sure if I should let this go down, not having any specific reason not to but definitely getting the impression that something was going on that I had no clue about.

And for some reason, the fact that I was the host of one of the parties involved with this whole mess and had no clue only made me want to huff and throw my hands up in the air.

Women.

_My host, if I may?_ Lash asked me politely. With a sigh, I gave in.

"Don't get freaked out," I warned the room as a whole.

"Freaked out by- Holy shit!" Saji began cautiously and ended loudly as I felt something on my forehead, a gentle warmth, matched by a small but steady pull from within me.

"Greetings," my mouth moved but it wasn't my voice that came out. "It is a pleasure to address you directly. I am called Lash. Please, watch over me."

A moment later my mouth moved again, this time of my own accord. "A little warning, Lash? Seriously. It hurts when you tighten my vocal cords that much without giving me a second to brace for it."

"Oh," Tsubasa began, staring at me. "Okay, wow. I heard the stories, but I thought at least half of them were exaggerated."

"And now you know," my mouth moved again. "Please, if you ever think my host's stories to be exaggerated, be advised that most likely he has had to omit details in order to alleviate that disbelief. The truth is often far, far stranger than fiction."

Ain't that the truth.

"She's doing the eye thing, isn't she," I muttered to Saji in my own voice, and he glanced down from my forehead, before looking back up just as quickly.

I'd noticed it before, when I was dealing with the Denarii. I'm not sure what the rule behind it was, but when the fallen in the coin spoke through their hosts, a set of eyes always opened up through their foreheads. The fact that they were almost always a different color, shape, and looking in a different direction than the actual eyes was something you got used to, with time.

A lot of time.

Lash, as a shadow of the fallen, had the same habit. She could only manifest those eyes when I let her, and they could only be opened due to my affinity for soulfire, but she knew how to use them when she could.

I'd never actually seen them myself when Lash was making her presence known. I was assured they were disturbing.

"How do you do, Lash-san?" Sona at least seemed to have kept her wits about her in the face of overwhelming weirdness. She adjusted her glasses with her usual poise as she continued. "We have not yet been introduced. I am Sitri Sona, of the Sitri family of devils. It is a pleasure to meet you."

"The pleasure is all mine," Lash responded through me. She even sounded like she meant it.

"Lash-san," Sona continued, all business as she pressed ahead. "It has come to my attention that you have been unfairly assisting Dresden-kun in regards to his schooling. I would ask that you desist with that assistance at once. It is important that Dresden-kun learn the material on his own."

"And I, naturally, refuse," Lash responded politely back, and Sona frowned. I honestly don't know what she was thinking was going to happen. Did she think that if she just said please she would be able to convince Lash to alter her ways? "Why should I refrain from offering my host the aid he requests?"

"Your host?" Tsubasa repeated, not really having understood just what kind of relationship Lash and I really had.

"Yes," Lash responded, her tone amused and a little smug. "This one is mine, after all. He has won me fairly, though in return I won him through deceit, treachery, and blackmail." My lips quirked as she moved them like I was a sock puppet. "You will have to try far harder if you seek to take him from me."

My eyes narrowed as I listened to her words. I knew Lash well enough to know just how dangerous she was when she was speaking. She was the shadow of the fallen, a creature that had tempted humanity for ages, who literally knew every trick of manipulation, every way to change their tone, word choice, or expression to get the response they desired from whoever it was they were communicating with.

Just speaking with the fallen was probably one of the most dangerous things a person could do. Once, it had been another devil, a fallen like her, who had spoken six words to me and caused me to sell my soul to the queen of wicked fey.

And for the life of me I couldn't' figure out just what it was that Lash was trying to accomplish here.

"I see," Sona stated, and her eyes were narrowed as she frowned slightly. Even if I was completely lost here, she seemed to be affected in whatever way Lash was trying to manipulate her. "So it is like that then."

"A powerful rival has appeared," Tsubaki had folded her arms, and was giving Sona a commiserating look.

"Hmmm," even Tsubasa seemed affected, pursing her lips as she drummed her fingers on the table.

Saji at least looked as clueless as I felt. I guess it was just a girl thing then.

"I am not one to back down from a challenge," Sona declared for some reason, and Lash laughed mockingly.

"I look forward to looking on your efforts with amusement," Lash told her. She paused a moment before adding on almost as an afterthought. "Good luck. You shall most certainly need it."

"Er, what's going on?" Saji asked, and I felt the sensation of warmth on my forehead disappear.

"Beats…" I began in a high pitched voice, before grimacing and massaging my throat as my vocal cords loosened a bit more. "Beats me."

"It seems I have much to think about," Sona mused, before shaking her head slightly. "For now, come along Saji. It's time we go greet Rias. And Tsubaki…"

"Yes, Kaichou?"

"Don't let Dresden leave until he's finished his work," she gave me a small glare.

"Tyrant," I muttered. With a sigh, I got back to letter stuffing.

***Scene Break***

'Seriously, Lash,' I griped at the shadow a few days later. 'Did you have to go and piss her off that much?'

_Have to?_ Lash still sounded smugly amused. I'd been trying to puzzle out what she had manipulated the devils into, and Hell's bells it felt weird to be worried about a devil being manipulated, and I was pretty sure Lash wasn't telling me simply because she found my confusion amusing. _No, I did not have to. But it was the simplest method to have my endeavors bear fruit._

'Fruit is what you call this?' I shifted the large box in my hand as I continued to carry sporting goods back to their storage shed. The school had just recently finished the 'Ball Tournament' some kind of inter club/class/gender multi-sport school wide event that once more proved that competition was one of the prime motivators adults used to manipulate kids. And, as had been the trend of the last few days, again Sona was unfairly holding my continued livelihood hostage to force drudgery out of me.

And she wasn't skimping on it either. The last couple of days I had been forced to spend literally hours after school, unwillingly drafted into taking part of just about every Student Council affair that they were involved in, from things like cleaning up after events to taking notes on meetings.

Stars and stones, Sona actually made me accompany that girl that had an eye out for that Saji around the school simply because I was tall enough to reach the top shelves without a step ladder. I finally found out her name was Nimura Ruruko by the way.

Dresden Harry, reduced to step latter replacement.

Well, I guess as titles go that wasn't the worst one I'd ever gotten. But still, it kind of lacked gravitas, ya know?

'And just what kind of fruit are you looking for?' I grumbled at the shadow. 'Because so far I'm not liking these apples too much.'

_Oh, my host, have you not yet figured it out?_ Lash giggled, appearing besides me as I worked. She had apparently gotten into the mood of the competition too because she was wearing, of all things, a P.E. uniform complete with bloomers.

I did not stare. It would have been hard to explain if anyone saw me gawking at empty air. Lash caught me not staring and only smiled wider.

'Explain it for me,' I told her, reaching to put the box up on the shelf it belonged on.

"I am merely seeking to motivate the devil to speed up her romantic pursuit of you," Lash confessed easily, and I dropped the box on my toe.

"Hell's bells!" I swore, partly because I couldn't believe what I had just heard and partly because that box had been heavy. "Romantic pursuit?" I repeated, looking and feeling very silly as I hoped on one foot and rubbed the bruised one with both hands. "Lash, what the hell are you talking about?"

"I should think it obvious enough," Lash continued, moving over to start toying with a balance beam. She jumped upon it easily enough, which wasn't a surprise since she was just a figment of my imagination, and began to pace across it with exaggerated care. "Sitri-san has been rather slow in her courtship of you. By challenging her as a woman, I have increased your desirability in her eyes, and motivated her to take more direct action."

"I didn't meant…!" I began, before remembering to keep the conversation quiet to avoid causing rumors about me being crazier than most people already thought I was. 'I meant what the hell do you mean, 'romantic pursuit'?'

"Ah, Harry, you really hadn't noticed," Lash tutted, having moved on from simply balancing to doing a hand stand of all things. If the conversation hadn't been consuming most of my attention, the way her shirt was drooping would have been something really hard not to look at. "Her desire to monopolize your time? The way she seeks you out to engage in conversation throughout the day? Or even the way she is more expressive around you than around others? Even the other boy, Saji, can see it, and is made jealous by it."

'Wait, that's the reason I've been having friction with him?' I blinked, before shaking my head quickly as I actually started buying into the BS Lash was weaving. I started picking up the equipment that had spilled out of the box when I dropped it. 'No, I'm not buying it. If you hadn't noticed, we barely get along as it is. The only time she 'seeks me out' as you put it is when she has something to bitch at me about, and half of our conversations are us taking verbal snipes at each other. That doesn't constitute as 'romantic pursuit' by a long shot!'

"I'm told that pulling the hair of the one you admire is quite the height of fashion among kindergartners," Lash informed me, cartwheeling across the balance beam as I finished packing the box and putting it in its place. She ended by dismounting with a flip, posing like a gymnast when she landed. She grinned coquettishly at me. "Though when one gets older the hair pulling usually comes when you are in mid-coitus, typically during positions of male dominance."

"Gah!" I sputtered, and an image of me doing just that with the aforementioned devil appeared in my mind for a moment. I pushed it away quickly before it started to make it awkward to stand. "Don't do that!" I told her.

"My host, that was not me," she informed me with a smile, and I grimaced, blushing furiously as I glanced away.

Seriously. Hormones. Suck. A lot.

'Okay, first off, no,' I told her, making my way through the hallways as I started to list all the reasons Lash was wrong, and everything that was wrong with the way she was wrong. 'Sona isn't into me like that. She's just a diligent, hardworking young lady, er devil, taking advantage of my time of need for some physical labor. We are not bickering as some sort of outlet for sexual tension. As for her being more expressive around me, it's just fate making up for all the times I had a crappy audience by giving me someone who can actually appreciate my humor for once!'

_Hmmm,_ Lash had returned to just being a voice in my head, something I was grateful for because not looking at those bloomers had been a lot harder than I thought it would be. _Judging from your reaction, it seems you have not yet noticed the other devil's pursuit as well._

'What other devil?' I knew I shouldn't ask the question, because it was just giving Lash a chance to further be mistaken, but I found myself curious as just what else she had been deluding herself about.

_Yura Tsubasa, of course,_ Lash supplied for me, and I scowled. _She is quite taken with some of your stories, is she not? It seems she admires men of action._

'No,' I told her. 'Just. No.'

_Why are you so against the idea that you might be garnering female attention?_ Lash asked me, sounding amused still.

'Should I make a list?' I grumbled back. 'One, they're devils…'

_A fact that you have established is less dangerous and more a curiosity in this world…_

'Two, they're underage!' Really. I was pushing forty, and I had no inclination to start robbing cradles.

_Technically, the Sitri is a third year, and thus eighteen. And in your current state, the Rook is also of the same age as you, physically._

'Physical age and mental age are two different things!'

_You need to, what is the phrase, 'loosen up more', my host. You have far too many inhibitions._

'And why are you so focused on fictional romantic pursuits anyway?' I finally demanded, resisting through herculean effort from pulling my hair in frustration.

_I am simply doing my best to assist you, my host,_ Lash announced seriously. _Your body is so full of hormones and teenage lust that I cannot help but notice its effect on you. Thus, in order to help pay my rent, I decide to assist you in achieving your own harem._

'And because it amuses you immensely to watch me squirm?'

_That is, how do you put it, just a side benefit._

'Well you can put it to rest now,' I told her as I made my way back to the Student Council room. 'Because no, Sona is not pursuing me romantically. Neither is Tsubasa. There is no love triangle, no imaginary harem, and that's final.'

"Dresden-kun," a real voice greeted me, and I glanced up to find Tsubasa standing near the door. She was holding a large covered box, a traditional lunch box I realized. "Thank you for all your hard work. Since you're still having trouble with your power, I thought you might not be eating well, so I made this lunch for you. I wondered if maybe you would like to eat with me?"

I blinked, and realized that she was blushing slightly as she asked me that. I turned my head a bit, and saw Sona, who was apparently glaring at the other girl from across the room. Tsubaki had what looked like a comforting hand on her shoulder. Then I saw the way Saji was glancing between me and the President and scowling.

"Oh Hell's Bell," I muttered.

_My host…_

'Don't say it Lash. It will just make it real.'

_I told you so._

***Scene Break***

"You," I growled at Ise as I stormed into the diner. "You're the one who put the idea of harems into Lash's head. I blame you for this entirely, and will someday have my vengeance."

"Eh?" Ise gulped, looking surprised as I glared at him.

It was a weekend, and I had been sitting in my apartment, trying to decide if I could face going to the school on a weekend to recharge my laptop and risk facing teenage relationship drama so soon after Lash had dropped the bombshell on me when I had gotten a call from the devil.

Seeing as I didn't have much else to do, happy for the excuse to stay away from Sona and Tsubasa for a bit until I had managed to get my head back on straight, and also smelling the potential for a little compensated labor, I had decided to head out to the diner he had invited me to.

"Good afternoon, Dresden-kun," one of the other devil's present greeted me politely, and I nodded at Kiba. The good looking boy wasn't smiling like he normally was, instead scowling across the table at two girls wearing white cloaks of all things that were stuffing their faces at the moment.

"…afternoon," Koneko also greeted a few moments later.

"Why is that guy here?" Saji scowled. "For that matter, why am I here?"

"To be talking about harems out in the open," one of the girls, a cutie with long brunette hair and a cheerful expression tsked. "Devils sure are indecent creatures."

"Check again, Irina," the other girl, a stern faced young lady with bright blue hair that had some bangs died green. "This one is human."

"Most days," I agreed, frowning as I studied the two. They both had a sense of power around them, something that seemed vaguely familiar to me. Finally I snapped my finger, realizing something. "Exorcists?"

"Indeed," the one with blue hair sounded surprised a bit that I had nailed it so quickly. "How did you…"

"Are you Christian?" the brunette spoke up excitedly, and I shook my head in the negative.

"Jedi," I corrected with a straight face, and Ise laughed. Saji even snorted in amusement too, though he quickly scowled at having even implied by accident that he had anything but ill feelings for me. "What? It's as valid a religion as any other! They even have churches for it in England."

"Jedi?" The brunette asked, sounding confused, and I stared at her as I realized she had no idea what I was talking about.

"You poor, poor misguided soul," I told her gently, smiling comfortingly at her, and she huffed, apparently understanding that I was teasing her. "But no. I've been studying a sword of light that I picked off a fallen exorcist," I admitted, grabbing a chair from a nearby table and pulling it up to the booth the rest of them were crammed in. "You girls have the same feel."

"You kept one of them?" Kiba asked, glancing away from where he was scowling at the two girls, giving me a sharp look. "Why?"

"Because what kind of Jedi would I be if I didn't have a lightsaber?" I asked him innocently, and I grinned. "I've figured out how to change its color already too. Now I just need to work on the sound effect."

"That sounds so cool," Ise admitted, rubbing his chin at the thought of it. I almost forgave him for the harem bit as he proved he had superior taste in entertainment. Almost.

"…focus," Koneko interjected, and I shrugged, letting myself get back to business.

"Dresden Harry," I told the two by way of introduction. "Wizard."

"A pagan then," the blue haired girl frowned briefly before nodding sharply. "Xenovia. Wielder of Excalibur Destruction."

"Yoohoo!" the brunette chirped happily. "Irina, wielder of Excalibur Mimic."

I blinked. Then, I used my pinky to clean my ears slightly.

"Sorry," I began slowly. "What was that?"

"Right," Ise stepped in enthusiastically. "These two are Excalibur wielders, here to search for some stolen Excaliburs! And I called you because I needed all the help we can get if we're going to destroy some Excaliburs."

I stared for a moment, before sinking my head into my hands and sighing.

"It's starting to be a lot less novel than it used to be," I muttered as once again Ise managed to drop the kind of bombs I was definitely used to being the one wielding. "Can we start from the beginning?"

***Scene Break***

"So," I began slowly, massaging my forehead as I closed my eyes and went over everything that had just been explained to me. "Excalibur, the most holy of swords, was broken a long time ago, right?"

"Correct," Ise answered reasonably.

"And the pieces were all re-forged into seven little mini-Excaliburs, which were then distributed to various denominations of Christianity…"

"Yes," this time it was the swordswoman Xenovia who answered me.

"So then three of these Excalibur-lites were stolen, by one of the head honchos of the fallen angel side…"

"Excalibur-lite?" Kiba mused at my choice of words.

"All the Excalibur, just one calorie," I explained to him patiently. "Anyway, you two were sent to retrieve the Excalibits, and when Ise found out, hatched a plan to throw in with you guys on the condition that Kiba gets to destroy one in the process."

"Oh, I like that one," Irina chirped. "Excalibits. It sounds cute!"

"Yeah, that's right," Ise confirmed for me.

"I am so disillusioned right now," I admitted.

To be fair, in my world Excalibur was a somewhat bigger deal. Reforged into the holy sword Amoracchius with one of the nails used during the crucifixion of Christ himself and the wielder had divine blessings bestowed upon them and hunted down the fallen trapped in the Blackened Denarii and generally went around being a heroic badass.

Comparing that too a bunch of rip off imitations of the original sword that were wielded by teenage girls who apparently got ripped off by art scammers, it just didn't seem the same.

"So," I continued, opening my eyes and sighing in resignation, "leaving aside the plan to deliberately destroy one of the greatest tools used against the darkness, why exactly did you call me?"

"We need help finding them," Ise rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. "And I remembered how you managed to track down Raynare…"

"You know what," I sighed. I had almost destroyed Excalibur myself back in my home world by accident. Shouldn't be too hard to do it again. "To hell with it. Sure. However…"

"However?" Xenovia's eyes narrowed as I apparently had conditions before being willing to help.

"However this time, I'm afraid I'm going to have to charge," I admitted sheepishly, and Ise blinked at me in surprise. "Look, last time was more a matter of me being personally involved, and I had no trouble doing that one pro bono. But my electricity has been shut off now for like two months, and if I don't get it on soon I'm going to forget what my attempts at home cooking taste like. That and I really need an excuse to stop hanging around the Student Council so much."

"Pay?" Ise gulped, and looked towards the remains of the meal on the table. "But I just spent my allowance…"

"I'll do it," Saji announced suddenly. The entire time he had looked like he'd rather be any place other than this table, but when I announced my condition he suddenly seemed eager to chip in. "If it gets you away from the Kaichou, then I'll pay any amount!"

Ah. That explains it. Jealousy works for me if it meant getting my power back up and running.

"Hearing you say that makes me want to overcharge you," I told him bluntly, and he scowled at the confession. "But I'm not looking a gift horse in the mouth. If you just pay off what I owe than I'll call it a deal."

"So you'll be able to make another one of those necklaces?" Ise nodded at the thought, but he blinked when I shook my head with a frown.

"Wouldn't work this time," I told him, before sitting back and beginning my explanation; finally, the chance to pull the knowledgeable wizard card. "I could only use them back then because they were a part of her originally. If you have the part of something you can use it to track the original. I'm going to assume that you don't have any pieces of the missing Excalibits, like from a scabbard or something?"

"No," Xenovia frowned, considering my question. "And even if we did, there would be no guarantee that they would still be using them."

"Wait," Ise folded his arms as he scrunched his face up in concentration. "If you just need a piece, aren't all the Excalibits pieces of the original? Can't you use another one to find them?"

"…are we really going to keep calling them Excalibits?" Koneko sounded confused, and was promptly ignored.

What can I say? I have a way with words.

"That's actually a good idea," I nodded at Ise, turning to give the swordswomen a glance. "Do you mind?"

"Irina," Xenovia nodded at her partner, and the brunette pulled a ribbon from her arm. I managed not to stare as the ribbon began to writhe and suddenly turned into a genuine sword.

"Just a sec," I glanced around the diner and threw up a quick veil. Both of the swordswomen jumped glancing around suddenly as though they sensed something, though the devils didn't seem to have that reaction. "Just a precaution so we don't get kicked out for pulling weapons in public."

"What did you do?" Kiba asked, frowning at the casual use of magic. Saji was looking around in surprise, probably more used to me as a yankee delinquent than as a capable spell caster.

"Just a veil, something to make it look like we're all just sitting here talking," I explained, gingerly taking the sword from the exorcist girl. "I'm not the best at them, so don't make any sudden moves or you might break it."

"I've heard of illusion magic, but never seen it before," Xenovia admitted, studying me carefully. "You must be quite talented."

"Not really," I shook my head with a frown, holding the Excalibit carefully. I was focusing on it, trying to test it for any kind of reaction. "I'm more into blowing things up than illusions. My tracking skills are pretty high up there though."

"So then you'll be able to…?" Ise began hopefully but I shook my head with a grimace.

"No," I decided, handing the sword back. "Even if they were once one, it's been too long and they've been changed too much. That approach won't work."

"So then you won't be able to track them after all?" Ise groaned. "Maybe we could all just dress up like priests and wander around. Kiba already said that that bastard Freed was hunting them…"

"That sounds like a plan B, but it won't really let you track the swords beside the one he's using," I pointed out. "And if you do find him and kill him you won't really have any way to find the other two."

"Could you do that thing you did to Raynare to make him talk?" Kiba prompted, and I grimaced shaking my head.

"It's a little late to admit it now, but I honestly had no idea she'd react like that. There's no way of knowing if the same thing would happen with Captain Loony," I confessed.

"What happened with this Raynare?" Saji chimed in, frowning as we talked about something he hadn't been a part of.

"I kind of broke her sanity by accident," I admitted dryly. "My bad. In my defense, that hardly ever happens." I paused for a moment. "These days anyway."

"I'm still wondering how you reduced a fallen angel to a screaming, crying wreck so terrified of you that she was begging us to keep you away," Kiba noted with a frown.

Xenovia and Irina both gave me a cautious look at that, and Saji blinked and seemed to realize that yes, I really was that hard core.

"And I hope that secret doesn't keep you up at night, 'cause you're not getting an answer now," I grinned. "Anyway, focusing on business, if we can't find the guy who stole the Excalibits," I hesitated, "who was that again?"

"Kokabiel," Ise offered helpfully and I paused.

"Kokabiel, the Angel of Stars, one of the twenty Watcher leaders as mentioned in the Book of Enoch," I asked flatly. "That Kokabiel?"

"Er," Ise blinked, sounding uncertain, "I guess?"

"Alright," I sighed, "just as long as we're clear on that. This is going to suck, isn't it?"

Ise laughed sheepishly as he glanced away.

"Anyway, the fact is that Kokabiel might be hiding, but there's no way he can hide just anywhere," I continued, pulling my phone out and pulling up my trust map app. The image I pulled up was a saved file that had a number of lines and arrows drawn on it. "He's gotta have some kind of countermeasure to keep anyone from just sensing him or using magic or something to find him. And that means he has to be a place where there's a lot of power present. And that means, can you guess it? Leylines."

"I see," Kiba sounded thoughtful as he leaned over my phone to look at the map. Irina and Xenovia did the same, though Saji seemed content to sit back and Koneko was just too short to make it. "But Kokabiel is one of the leaders of the fallen. He would have enough power to conceal himself without them…"

"Er, leylines?" Ise asked, sounding embarrassed.

"Places where the natural magic of the earth flow more thickly than others," I explained for him. "Think like magic underground oil pipes. And Kokabiel might have the power to do it on his own, but he's a big wig; a big wig for an evil organization at that. There's no way he's going to be throwing around his own power like that for something so plebian, especially if he has mooks with him. That kind of thing is what you force on middle management. And that crony probably won't have the power necessary to conceal something like Kokabiel by themselves."

"Hence, needing to use the power of the leylines," Saji completed. He sounded reluctantly impressed with my reasoning so far.

"Impressive," Xenovia noted, before nodding at my reason. "So, all we have to do is investigate places that might be their base." She glanced at me, waiting for me to provide the answer for her. "Where do you recommend?"

"And that's where I stop being impressive all of a sudden," I shrugged in simulated embarrassment. "I've been mapping leylines, but only in my spare time as a side project. I don't know the city well enough to know where the best places are. However, we have the servants of two high class devils that have been in the area for a long time. So, Saji, Kiba. Happen to know if your Kings have a map handy?"

***Scene Break***

"So I got to ask," I began after the two swordswomen left, plans to meet up tomorrow after Kiba tried to wrangle a map of the local leylines from his King. "Why are we doing this again?"

"I agree," surprisingly, it was Kiba that spoke up, and I nodded at a devil having common sense enough to know when a fight was a bad idea. He then shattered that by proving he was thinking of something else entirely. "Ise, why did you set this up?"

"Well, we're comrades, right?" the other boy rubbed the back of his head in embarrassment. "And we're part of the same group. And you really helped me out a lot in the past. It's not like I'm trying to repay you or anything, but I thought I would be the one giving a hand this time."

"And if I acted by myself it would cause trouble for Buchou?" the blond frowned.

"Of course Buchou would be troubled if you did something like that," Ise nodded enthusiastically, before looking sheepish again. "Though my plan will probably cause just as much trouble… At least I managed to convince those two from the church!"

I frowned, wondering just what they were talking about before chalking it up to devil politics. Kiba seemed like he still wasn't convinced, but then Koneko put on a look that made me want to thump my chest, grab my caveman club, and wonder off to hit whatever caused her to look so sad.

"…Yuuto-senpai," she began, "I would get lonely… if you were to disappear."

_I see,_ Lash noted, sounding intrigued. _So this is the power of this thing called 'Moe'. I had heard stories, but to see it in action…_

Well crap. That was the kind of look that would condemn anyone to the special hell that only puppy kickers and movie theater talkers go to. Kiba seemed to realize that himself and laughed as he gave up.

"I give up," he admitted, patting the small girl's head. "If Koneko-chan says something like that, than I just can't act recklessly. And thanks to Ise-kun, I at least know who my enemy is."

I frowned slightly as a look went across his face. The pretty boy's normal expression was usually calm, leaning towards cheerful, but that look was something different, something dark.

"Ummm, what do I have to do about all this, anyway?" Saji complained. It seemed even the power of the adorable just didn't have the same impact on everyone, or the boy was already judged and en route to that special damnation I mentioned. "I mean, I'm totally uninvolved in all this. And just what does Kiba have to do with the Excalibits?"

"They did you wrong in the past, didn't they?" I noted, and Kiba glanced at me, frowning slightly.

"And why would you say that, Dresden-kun?" he asked cautiously.

"Because you have the expression of someone who was done wrong in the past," I shrugged, and he blinked in surprise. Finally he gave a bitter smile.

"…I suppose we can talk for a bit," Kiba sighed, before going on and explaining just how he was done wrong.

The beginning of the story made me frown, and the rest of it just made my frown bigger.

Apparently, Kiba's initial hypothesis back when I had been standing between them and Asia about Asia's fate after her death might not have been as grim or impossible as I had initially thought.

If the church could experiment on innocent kids, on their own believers, and then kill them all off after they were deemed failures, than the Church might not be the bastion of righteousness that I had come to associate it with back in my world.

Welcome to Bizzaro World, where the devils are the kind ones and the Church just keeps looking worse and worse.

"Well," I admitted after Kiba finished his story with his hopes to avenge his fallen comrades by destroying one of the Holy Swords that had ultimately been responsible for his demise, "that sucks."

Saji seemed to agree, reaching out to grab the startled blond's hand. The boy was actually crying, looking totally overcome with emotion kind of like Ise did sometimes. "Kiba! It must have been horrible, living through that! To tell the truth, I never really liked you because you were a good looking guy, but now I'm also ready to help! I'll even risk Kaichou's punishment for it! Let's destroy one of the Excalibits and avenge your friends!"

"…so we're just going to keep calling them that," Koneko nodded, once more back to her more expressionless self. I grinned.

I loved it when a phrase stuck!

"So now it's my turn!" Saji continued, putting on his manface for some reason. "You guys should know about me as well, since we'll be working together! My dream… my dream is to get Kaichou pregnant and marry her!"

My jaw dropped. As in literally. I couldn't help but stare at such a… disturbing life goal.

"It's hard for an unpopular guy like me to get a girl pregnant," he continued, not quite finished disturbing me apparently. "But one day, I will make her pregnant and marry her!"

"Er," I began, glancing around the table and finding that at least Koneko and Kiba looked about how I felt at that moment. "Is anyone else kind of creeped out right now?" I whispered to the two. I was relieved when they nodded, proving it wasn't just me.

"Saji!" Ise, on the other hand, looked moved by the goal. "Listen! My goal is to grope Buchou's oppai… and then to suck them!"

He actually was moved to tears. He literally grabbed Saji's hands, listing his less that honorable goals for his devil master, and Saji was similarly moved and encouraged. You could cut the bromantic tension with a knife.

"And the crescendo of creepiness continues," I swallowed, backing my chair away from the two slowly as they actually had a moment.

"Ahahaha," Kiba gave a sheepish laugh, his eyes closed as he rubbed his hair in embarrassment.

"…the worst," Koneko didn't hold anything back, as well she should. Ise flinched, but recovered. I guess he was used to it.

"And you," Saji continued, breaking away so he could glare at me. "You had to show up! Rival or not, I won't give up on my dream!"

"Oh!" Ise stared at me in comprehension at Saji's words. "So then Dresden and Kaichou…" Kiba gave me a surprised look, though Koneko just nodded as though she was already aware of the strange, strange love triangle I had found myself in. I'm guessing she might have known before even I did, if the female devils talked as much as I suspected.

"Not really…" I offered, looking away awkwardly. I still had no idea how to deal with the amorous advances of teenage hellspawn. Dealing with Lash or even Lara was much easier. Tell them no, and set them on fire if they don't listen. My modus operandi didn't work as well when they were inviting you to have lunch with them like a normal teenage girl did. "Er, I mean…"

"I won't back down! Since Kaichou is interested in someone who looks like you, at least I know she isn't attracted to good looking guys like Kiba," Saji declared, pointing a finger at me in challenge. "That means I still have a chance! I won't lose to a guy like you."

I would have been offended over being used as proof that Sona didn't like good looking guys, but I knew in my heart of hearts I really couldn't argue. Thomas had been the good looking one in the family.

"I," I began, before sighing and palming my face and deciding I had my fill of creepiness for the day. "I'm just going to leave now. Call me when you have the map…"

"Wait!" Ise began, leaning over eagerly. "Isn't it your turn now, Dresden?"

"My turn?" I repeated, pausing as I started to stand. I honestly had no idea what he was talking about. "My turn for what?"

"Kiba has just revealed his history, and now even Saji had shared his goals and grown closer to everyone!" Ise was definitely in high spirits after he managed to find common ground with the other boy. "Isn't it your turn to talk about your past and what you want to do? So we can all come together as a group?"

"Well, I thought we'd end the meeting on a high note," I informed him, trying to change the subject, but was interrupted by Kiba of all people speaking up.

"I'm actually interested a bit myself," the swordsman offered, though he at least had the grace to sound apologetic. "You don't seem to be associated with any of the magical organizations, and your magic is rather unlike the types I'd seen in the past. Dresden-kun is actually a bit of a mystery in that way."

I paused, frowning slightly as I studied the blond carefully. He endured it, though he seemed curious about the reaction.

I wondered if he even realized that he had just given away the fact that he and the other devils had been investigating my past.

It was a somewhat worrying revelation, but I wasn't sure how worrying at this point. Even if they dug, it's not like they would find anything incriminating. After all, there was literally nothing out here, no proof of my existence, no dirty secret, no potential blackmail they could hold over me. I literally didn't exist in this reality until a few years ago, so of course they would find nothing. There was no record of me before I woke up in a hospital.

The question is, how would they respond to that.

"Well," I finally hedged a bit, honestly not certain if I should indulge them or not. It's not like they could do anything with a simplified story of my childhood. And not sharing it might only make them more suspicious in the end. "Are you sure? It's not really very pleasant…"

"Yes," Ise nodded, though he looked a bit less excited than he had been earlier. Now he looked determined. "Dresden, you did a lot for me, back when I first became a devil, and later when we were going to save Asia. Even if you're not a devil, I still think of you as a friend! Even if it's bad like you say, I want to know more about you too!"

I blinked, my jaw dropping again at the devil's words. Then I sighed, shaking my head ruefully.

"A friend," I repeated, chuckling under my breath. He was actually kind of right. I guess, for all him being a devil and me generally standing in the way of those kinds of things, he was a friend. We chatted in class, and gave each other a hand when the going got rough. Hell's bells, he even came to me for advice, albeit advice a bit stranger than teenagers normally swapped around.

"We are friends, aren't we?" Ise sounded nervous, as though he was starting to question his earlier declaration.

"I guess we are, aren't we?" I finally nodded, pursing my lips as I thought about it. "I'm not used to having those, truth be told." There hadn't been many, back in my home world outside the small circle, just a few that I trusted with my life. Most of the people I worked with towards the end wouldn't have hesitated to slit my throat from behind if they had the chance. I hadn't even bothered to really get involved with anyone since I had arrived here, having been mostly too busy getting myself set up as independent and content with just the company Lash offered. Ise brightened as I admitted the first part, it, though Saji scowled when I admitted the second part. "Alright, if you really want to know, I can give you the highlights."

"Right," Ise nodded, and then looked like he was bracing himself. "So, what's your family like?"

Saji winced, and looked away. He already knew what was coming.

"Dead," I confirmed bluntly, and Ise flinched, realizing he had started off by finding a landmine. "My mom was killed right after I was born, cursed to death by a jilted ex-lover incubus. My dad died a few years later, though that was just a heart attack."

"S-so then who did you live with after that?" Ise stuttered briefly, leaning forward as he just kept finding those landmines. Saji groaned and sank his head into his hand. Kiba was frowning as he studied me carefully.

"Well, me and another girl were adopted for a bit," I went on casually. Saji gave me a confused look. "He was actually the one who taught me magic. He thought we had talent so he took us both in."

"But you said…" Saji began, starting to glare at me as I contradicted my earlier declaration from the Student Council Room.

"Well, it turned out he really wanted our talent for nefarious reasons," I confessed. "I came home one day to find out that he had brainwashed Elaine, the other girl, and made her his slave with some sort of enchantment, and he was planning to do the same to me," I sighed, "so I ran away. He tried to use a demon he had summoned to kill me, though I managed to fight it off. So I went back to face him, and in the end I managed to kill him."

And just like that, most of the good mood of the table was gone. That's why my card says I don't do parties.

"Buchou did manage to find hospital records," Kiba muttered softly, proving just how far back they had managed to check so far. "If the man who adopted you was trying to make you disappear, it would explain why she couldn't find anything else…"

"And this is why I just can't hate him," Saji muttered to himself, looking like he was caught between sympathizing with my story or being annoyed that I was apparently not as unlikeable as he had hoped.

"Dresden," Ise was biting his lip, looking like he was sincerely regretting having pushed. Finally he nodded, giving me a determined look. I was surprised when he leaned over and grabbed my hand this time. I debated shrugging him off, but he had already continued. "It looks like you're used to not having anyone to rely on, but if you ever need help, you can count on me! As your friend, I'll have your back if you need it!"

I stared at him, honestly at a loss for words for a moment.

Well, it turns out that Ise was good people too, apparently. Even if he was a bit perverted.

"Er, thanks," I finally told him, and I heard Lash laughing at my flustered tone. Focus, Harry! Your reputation as a deadpan snarker is at stake! Quick, think of a comeback! "But you do know I'm a guy, right?"

Ise blinked, and then realized he was still passionately holding my hand. He turned green, and threw his hand up, backing away. Around us, I could hear the restaurant's patrons whispering at the scene as many apparently came to a very wrong conclusion at seeing two boys holding hands, and I groaned, knowing I wouldn't be able to come back here for a while.

"And now that the bromance is over," I sighed, pushing my chair away as I stood up, "I'm out of here. Call me when you have the map," I told Kiba, and he nodded slowly. "I'm making my escape before someone breaks out the Natie Ice and the GameCube."

I turned to leave, shaking my head at how the day had gone so far. Hey, tactical retreats were useful for more than just avoiding monsters, after all.

***Scene Break***

"Well," Xenovia began. The swordswoman sounded impatient, and the first words out of her mouth when we finally met up, three days after the initial arrangement began. "I dislike waiting around. Has there been progress?"

"And hello to you too, Xenovia," I told her wryly, waving my staff in greeting as she and the rest of the Excalibit destruction group showed up. I was sitting a bench in the park, and they must have met up when they entered the park.

"Hey!" Ise frowned, giving the exorcist a small glare. "Don't look down on Dresden like that! It's not like you had any plans or anything, so even if he's having some problems…"

"Kokabiel is holed up in the top floor of the biggest hotel down town," I broke in dryly, and Ise trailed off, surprised that yes I had actually located them. Xenovia seemed similarly shocked, though Kiba's eyes just narrowed.

"Really?" Irina seemed as energetic as she had been before, bouncing to her feet and throwing a fist up in the air. "Well then, let's go…"

"Bust down the door and attack one of the most powerful Fallen Angels still alive, in a crowded hotel filled with innocent mortals?" I finished for her, and she trailed off as she got my point. "If you try it, I'll stop you myself."

"Stop us?" Xenovia frowned, reaching for the wrapped bundle on her back cautiously. "So, you would interfere with our Holy mission?"

"I don't care if you are wearing sunglasses, have a half pack of smokes, and a full tank of gas for your mission from god," I began, narrowing my eyes back at her. "If your mission puts the lives of innocent people at risk, than yes, I will be getting in your way. If you angels, fallen, and devils, want to go around having your secret wars and things, leave mortals out of it."

"'Anything that dares lift a hand against mortals will find you there to cut that hand off'?" Kiba murmured, sounding bemused as he remembered my oath. "You were serious about that, weren't you?"

"Deadly," I told him, though I smiled to soften the words to him while I did so. Kiba nodded, folding his arms as he frowned.

"So then, what are we to do?" the swordsman scowled, that dark looking coming back on his face as he did so. "Now that we know where they are, are we supposed to just stand by and do nothing?"

"And why are you holding your ear like that, anyway?" Saji broke in, probably more in the interest of sniping at me than out of actual curiosity.

"Well, I was planning on spying on them until they leave the Excalibits unattended, or until I can catch one of them by themselves," I admitted casually. "And I'm holding my hand to my ear so that I can hear them talking. Right now Kokabiel is saying something about his patience growing thin. His chief crony, some guy who goes by the name Galilei Balba is trying to calm him down, talking about how his research in combining the Excalibits is progressing. And Captain Loony is saying something about going out to have some fun."

Saji gaped at me, though Ise just cheered. Xenovia and Irina actually sounded surprised at the fact that not only had I done my job in finding their targets, but was even now listening in on them.

"Galilei Balba?" Kiba hissed, and I got the impression that there was some serious bad blood between the two. From his story a few days before I could make some guesses.

"How did you do all this?" Xenovia finally asked, sounding slightly impressed despite herself.

"Well, once I got the map, it was easy enough to find the best places for hiding out," I started listing my steps, splitting my attention between the explanation and the spying. "From there, it was a matter or ruling out the places that made the least sense. For instance, did you know Kuoh Academy actually stands on the best leyline connections in town? And sense the fallen can't be hiding there, I could check it off the list pretty easily. Same with the one that had a McDonald, and the one right here in the park. After that, it was just some leg work. I actually checked the hotel one second. Should have done it first, seeing as big bad guys like that tend to not like roughing it."

"I see," Saji actually sounded impressed, despite his moral obligation to dislike me due to being competition for the woman he wanted to knock up. "But how did you manage to spy on them?"

"Tadah," I said, holding up my secret wizarding tool.

"…silly string?" Koneko seemed the first one to work up the nerve to point out just what I was holding.

"Budgeting wizarding at its best," I confirmed with a grin. "Silly string is actually a pressurized liquid until it meets air. If you spray a bit of it somewhere, it counts as being a part the liquid itself. And if you have another part of it, say, in your ear, than you can use it to listen in pretty easily." I frowned with a sigh. "The hardest part was actually getting some in the room. I didn't want to risk getting too close and being found out, so I ended up calling in a fake room service order of some fancy wine. Kokabiel decided to take it despite it being a mistake, so I called you all up to give the status report."

"Can I listen too?" Ise asked sounding as though he was kid asking a question in class as he lifted a hand.

"Sure," I told him, tossing him the can. "Just be careful when you spray it in your ear."

"Silly string," Saji repeated, sounding like he was having trouble actually believing what he was seeing. "You use silly string for your magic."

"You should see what I can get done with play-doh some time," I told him, and he sighed, sounding really tired for some reason.

"Whoa!" Ise yelped as he gave himself a dose. Kids, don't try this at home. "Cold! I can't hear anything though…"

"Come here a sec," I told him, reaching out to poke the wad that he was holding to his ear.

"There it is!" Ise sounded impressed, before frowning. "Wow. Kokabiel sounds kind of crazy…"

"Oh! Me too!" Irina decided to get in on the action, though Xenovia just shook her head, apparently still having trouble believing that I had delivered so thoroughly and so soon.

"Yeah," I agreed with Ise about the crazy bit. "Galilei the Crony actually left already. Said something about checking on Captain Loony's progress. He's just ranting to himself about how much he hates someone called 'Sirzechs'."

Koneko and Kiba apparently knew the name, because they glanced at each other suddenly, but Saji was the one who spoke up next.

"You," he began, giving me a confused look. "You're actually really good at this kind of thing, aren't you?"

"Hard to believe, right? I just look so stupid," I shrugged. "It's not as easy as I make it look, I've just picked up a lot of tricks over the years."

"So then," Kiba continued, still scowling. I noticed that he was flexing one hand rhythmically, and I upped just how big a beef he had with Galilei the Crony. "What now? Do we just sit here, knowing where they are and doing nothing?"

"Well, I'd recommend waiting until one of them is out, preferably one with an Excalibit," I offered. "Then we can all jump him together. Once we get him, and you get your chance to take out the sword, we use it as bait to try and lure the remaining members out, then sneak in and try to steal the other swords if they left it back at the hotel. With any luck, we can get all three, and then make sure to stay out of sight while Mr. Talks-To-Himself blows a gasket."

I'd had some time while I was waiting for everyone to show up and used it to start considering different plans.

And no, burning down the building to flush them out never came up.

"…reasonable," Koneko nodded to herself, and Kiba scowled but nodded along.

"As long as I get my chance," he declared, before he straightened suddenly, glancing to the side sharply.

"Is that…" Xenovia frowned, also glancing to the side, and again I got the impression that I was the Han Solo of the group. Stupid infernal and divine powers…

"Look up!" Saji suddenly shouted, and I had time to glance up before two blurs appeared above me and crashed with the sound of steel on steel.

"Empty night!" I swore, flinching to the side and scrambling to get out from beneath where Kiba and Captain Loony had started a freaking sword fight directly above me.

"Ah!" Freed declared, laughing as he did so. "You stopped me from taking out that shitty wizard! Hello, shitty wizard! Didn't expect to see me again, did you? That was a nasty trick, sneaking up on me before, so I ended up trying it myself!"

"Freed!" Ise shouted, his gauntlet showing up as he got into his own ready stance. Near him, a glove showed up on Saji's hands as well. Those were their Sacred Gears, I take it.

"Is that you, Ise-kun?" Freed giggled, still engaging Kiba as I finally managed to get some distance between my soft, tender flesh and the really sharp looking swords. "Is your dragon power stronger now? Can I kill you yet? I promise, I'll be gentle!"

"Stretch, my line!" Saji declared, and I watched as the lizard looking face on his glove shot out what looked like a chameleon tongue that ended up latching on to Freed's foot. "There! With this, he won't be able to get away!"

"Good work, Saji!" Ise cheered, before his gauntlet spoke up.

"Boost!" it declared dramatically.

"Sellzen Freed! For the crimes of heresy and murder, I will cut you down in the name of god!" Xenovia chimed in, and Freed had to dodge hard to keep his head in place.

"Yahoo!" Irina's battle cry was a lot simpler, and Freed found himself surrounded on all sides by the three sword wielders.

"Nobody panic," I declared, voice high pitched as I leveled my staff as well, well back from the fight proper. "The wizard is fine, thanks for your concern!"

"Eh? What's this?" Freed didn't' seem to mind the fact that he was outnumbered and surrounded. If anything he started to sound even more excited. "Devils? And exorcists? And dragons? And wizards?"

"Oh my!" I added though no one seemed to notice.

"Hahaha! I'm so popular! Hey, guys, which should I kill first? I want to know, I seriously want to know? There are so many options!"

"Your opponent is me!" Kiba roared, sounding very unlike his normally calm self. "You two! Like we agreed, stay out of this!"

"Ch," Xenovia tsked, though she did draw back a bit, "as if I take orders from a devil."

"Finish him quick, devil-kun!" Irina chirped brightly. "If it looks like you can't, than we're going to step in!"

"Hahahaha!" Freed just giggled, despite the fact that his situation seemed pretty hopeless. "Well, aren't I popular! I'm so popular! They should make dating games based around me! But I've already decided! After all, with my Excalibur-chan, Excalibur Rapidly," he focused on me, with a grin, "I think I'll start with the wizard!"

"Your opponent is…!" Kiba began, and then I found out why Captain Loony's Excalibit had a 'Rapidly' tacked on to it.

_My host!_ Lash's voice came like a whip, and I realized that everything else in the world had suddenly slowed down quite a bit except for Freed. He looked as though he was running at normal speeds. When I tried to react and found my body moving just as slow as everyone else's, I realized what Lash had done.

'Don't keep it up for too long,' I warned her, already adjusting myself to the situation. It wasn't that Freed was moving quickly, it was just that Lash had altered my perception to the point where I could keep up with him. It was a dangerous technique, one that could cause damage to the brain if done too long. She'd used it before, in the chamber behind Raith Mansion, though in this case she wasn't slowing time nearly as much. I should be fine as long as I didn't have to keep this up for long.

Kiba had begun to move faster in my eyes too as he used his trait as a Knight to boost his speed, but Freed was already closing in on me, and the devil wouldn't make it in time. My arm was moving, but I wouldn't be able to get my staff up in time to channel force through it. So, defense first.

My new shield charm was a thing of wonder. I had spent a lot of time on it, since coming to this new world, and even back in my original one I had really beefed it up over the years. I forced will through it, and panel of shimmering light sprang into existence in front of me. The Excalibit impacted it, and for a moment I was worried that it wouldn't hold against the holy power of the sword.

My shield wavered, but it held true in the end. I tried not to sigh in relief. Never let them see you sweat.

"No fair!" Freed declared, pouting as he stared. The words were drawn out due to my altered perception, but I could still make them out well enough.

Then I decked him.

I knew what he thought I was going to do. I was the wizard, after all. Logic dictated that I back off, bring my staff to bear, and get on with the wizarding and stuff. I could already see him shifting to try and circle my shield and close in on me again.

Nobody ever expects the wizard to get physical. Seriously. It was great.

The first inclination he had that things weren't going as he planned was when my eyes went hard, cold, when they narrowed. I think he could recognize it, the look of glimmering insanity, the unforgiving desire to kill, to destroy, and to violate. His eyes had the same look after all.

Winter flooded through me, and this time it was him who only barely got his sword up in time to block. A thick coat of ice formed on my hand, keeping me from being cut by the edge, but Freed just hadn't anticipated the force I could put into a sucker punch.

"Hrk!" he yelped as the sword pressed against him, and the force lifted him and sent him flying back, past Kiba who had been closing in on him, and sent the insane former exorcist tumbling until he was back where he had been originally.

"Dresden?" Ise gaped, before grinning. "Yeah! Nice shot!"

"That kind of power!" Saji gaped staring, "it's almost like that of a Rook!"

I regarded the two. The boy, Ise, was a pack mate. He was a comrade, one that I could rely on in the hunt. So long as he stayed out of my way, he could share in the prey. The other, Saji, he was competition. He sought the same prey as I did, the one I would take from behind as I locked my fist in her hair and forced myself on her. He would be slain, but later…

'And unfreeze,' I declared, forcing Winter back down with the ease of long practice.

Then I remembered the image that Winter had provided me, what I was doing and with who, and I had to keep from blushing and groaning then and there, combat or not.

_I didn't think you'd take my comment so seriously,_ Lash laughed, and the world started moving at normal speeds again. _Harry Dresden. Have we perhaps found a fetish for you after all?_

'I am never going to live this down, am I?' I sighed. Then I looked to find Kiba giving me a startled look and pointed behind him. "Excalibits over there, remember?"

"No fair!" Freed sounded groggy, and he got to his feet slowly as he shook his head. "You're cheating somehow!"

"Of course I am," I agreed easily enough. I unflexed my fist, letting ice crack and fall off as I forced Winter even further down. "If you ain't cheating, you ain't trying."

"…fly!" Koneko spoke up, and when I glanced at her I realized that she had actually lifted Ise up, and he was now actually flying due to her assistance.

"Why are you throwing me! Koneko-chaaaaaan!" Ise cried as he went rocketing towards where Kiba was. Even as he passed, despite his crying, he managed to touch the blond. "Transfer!"

"I can still fight!" Kiba declared, sounding outraged at the actions, but Ise just grinned even as he hit the ground rolling.

"You aren't cheating, so you aren't trying!" he called back, his voice unsteady as he rolled repeatedly. I had to step to the side to avoid him, and he finally came to an actual stop a few feet behind me. "Whoa," he managed to sit up, the poor boy looking dizzy. He still grinned at me. "Ain't that right, Dresden!"

"I think I might be a good influence on you, kid," I told him, grinning wolfishly as well.

Kiba hesitated before he finally nodded. "Since I have it now, I have no choice but to use it, right?"

While Kiba closed in on his opponent again, I offered a hand to Ise, keeping an eye on the fight in case Captain Loony decided to take another swing at me. "You alright, Ise?"

"Yeah," he gulped, accepting my hand. "Just waiting for the world to stop spinning."

"I've had a few nights like that," I recalled, remembering fondly when I could still legally buy alcohol. "Just what did you do anyway?" Kiba was moving a lot faster now, and swords were starting to pop up every which way as he started overpowering the exorcist.

"My Sacred Gear can let me transfer the power I've managed to store to someone else!" Ise boasted, patting his gauntlet proudly. I whistled, slightly impressed despite myself.

"Useful," I admitted, before a new voice called out.

"Old-man Balba!" Freed called, and I recognized the voice as one of the ones that I had been listening too earlier. From the way Kiba's expression twisted, I guessed that things were about to turn ugly.

"It looks as though I came right in time," Balba mused. He seemed more academically interested in the scene, rather than worried about his potential danger. "Why haven't you cut yourself loose yet, Freed? I've explained how to use your element to you before."

"Oh yeah!" Freed grinned as he seemed to recall something. He put the sword to the line again, and this time he didn't seem to have any problem cutting through it. "Hahaha! Maybe I just like being tied up? I should try it sometime! Killing shitty devils while covered in ropes!"

"I'd tell him he needs a hobby, but he apparently found one," I commented, somewhat disturbed by the mental image it pulled up. "Now he just needs to find a less kinky one."

"We're getting out of here, old man Balba!" Freed declared, using that speed of his again as he went to the old man. "Bye-bye, Alliance of church, devils, and pagans!"

"After them, Irina!" Xenovia ordered at once, and I realized suddenly that the two were actually planning to chase the escaping villains.

"Wait," I began, raising a hand as the two darted off, wanting to explain just how bad an idea that really was.

"I won't let you escape, Galilei Balba!" Kiba, cool headed and calm as he normally was, had apparently reached his limit as well as he followed the two holy sword users.

"Stop!" I tried to call, but the three were just too fast, and I was left standing there, staring as they disappeared into the night.

"Oh, this can't get any worse," I groaned, feeling like I wanted to pull my hair. "Those three, if they get mortals involved with this…!"

"Involved with what?" a new voice spoke up from behind me, and I sighed.

"I had to tempt fate with that 'can't get any worse' line, didn't I," I muttered, turning to find that not only was Sitri Sona standing behind me, but Gremory Rias as well.

Though the expressions on both Saji and Ise's face was so comical it almost made up for the headache I just knew was coming.

***Scene Break***

"Destroying the Excalibur? You two…" Rias was massaging her forehead in a way that vaguely reminded me of how Murphy would get after I did something particularly harebrained. Ise and Koneko looked nervous, as in Ise gulped and Koneko did her best statue impression.

"Saji. So you would do something like this behind my back? You troublesome child." Sona's glasses were in rare form as she stood above her own misbehaving subordinate, and Saji was literally blue with how scared he was.

"Why is he the only one not kneeling?" he managed to grumble, before he eeped as Sona somehow managed to intensify her glare at him, before turning the laser pointed thing to me.

"Before you try it," I held my hands up in an effort to placate her, "what I do doesn't really affect inter species politics. And also, you aren't the boss of me."

I'd like to say that last part came out strong, manly, and defiant…

But those glasses. Oh god. Those glasses.

It didn't help that I was still coming down off a Winter high, and I found myself disturbingly focused on her hair.

When an image flashed of that hair wrapped around my hand, I scowled at my inner demon.

'Okay, I know that one was you,' I told Lash, and she laughed, acknowledging being caught fair and square.

Still didn't change the memory of that image though…

"She's not, but I am!" Saji sputtered, before eeping and cowering as he admitted to being the one that brought me in in front of his very upset boss. "And I say that you have to go through whatever I am too!"

"Sorry, let me consult my contract," I pursed my lips thoughtfully, and Saji groaned.

"What contract?" he demanded, and then gaped as I pulled out my phone, hitting a button.

"So," my voice came out of my phone from where I had recorded it during the first meeting, "Leaving aside the plan to deliberately destroy one of the greatest tools used against the darkness, why exactly did you call me?"

"We need help finding them," Ise gulped as his own culpability was displayed. "And I remembered how you managed to track down Raynare…"

"You know what, to hell with it. Sure. However…"

"However?"

"However this time, I'm afraid I'm going to have to charge. Look, last time was more a matter of me being personally involved, and I had no trouble doing that one pro bono. But my electricity has been shut off now for like two months, and if I don't get it on soon I'm going to forget what my attempts at home cooking taste like. That and I really need an excuse to stop hanging around the Student Council so much."

"Pay, but I just spent my allowance…"

"I'll do it," Saji suddenly blanched as he realized what was about to come next. I debated letting it play out, but figured he had enough to worry about what with the whole 'destroying Excalibur' without me revealing that his primary reason to spring for my bill was to get me away from his crush. I clicked the recording off, and he sighed in relief.

"Pretty sure my contract was only tracking," I shrugged. "I mean, yeah, I was going to stick around to help in the fight, but that's just because I like some of the people about to get in a throw down with a powerful fallen, not because I was getting paid."

"Why do you even have that recorded?" Ise sounded both confused and impressed by my preparations. Then he seemed to realize something, and he grinned at me. I glowered, and looked away. Stupid bromantic moment, clouding my judgment.

"Do you have any idea how many people have tried to skip out on a bill by claiming we never really had a contract?" I prompted him, putting my phone away with a sigh. "I mean, yeah, that wouldn't exactly hold up in court, but probably about half give in just because I have proof." Then my eyes narrowed. "And the other half get put on the list. I'm still not sure what I'm going to do with the people on the list, but someday, somehow, I shall have my vengeance."

Then I yelped, and stared down even as I hopped on one foot, unable to comprehend what had just happened.

"D-did… did you just kick me in the shin?" I demanded, staring at the flashing glasses of the Kaichou as she stood before me, glaring upwards with the wrath of a thousand short people trying to confront someone much taller than them.

"I may not be your King," Sona began, still glaring up at me, "but I am still your Class President. I cannot condone foolishness that might allow your fellow students or yourself from being hurt. And no. I did not kick you. You imagined it."

"I imagined it…" I stared at her, and I caught out of the corner of my eye as Rias had to hide her face so her two still being scolded subordinates didn't see her giggling for some reason.

I haven't heard such a stupid excuse since Elaine used her superior veiling capabilities to tie my shoelaces together back when we were in high school for taking the last bagel and then blaming it on a passing squirrel.

Oh god, the petty vengeance of teenage girls. Er. Teenage wizards. Double er. Teenage Devils.

"And as you said," she continued, still glaring at me furiously. "I might not be 'the boss of you' as you put it, but it is still in my purvey to be concerned for your safety. Even if you are a wizard, the affairs of devils and angels are still something that shouldn't be undertaken lightly. I would have been very upset if I had heard something had happened to you, do you understand me, Dresden-kun?"

For some reason, I felt kind of like it was a combination of Charity Carpenter and Murphy lecturing me at the moment. Charity, because it felt like I was being talked down to as a bug so low beneath notice that the fact I was being addressed should be noted and celebrated for years to come.

Murphy, because when she lectured she was doing it because she was genuinely worried and didn't want to show it.

"Er," I found myself looking away awkwardly, rubbing the back of my head for some reason. Oh god, was I really doing this now? Teenage angst and drama. I had fought against it so hard. So why was I getting swept up in it at this point? "Right. Sorry for that much, I guess."

"It's not like he was in danger," Saji scowled at the ground, suddenly looking a lot less scared and a lot more spiteful. "He knocked that bastard Freed aside like he was a Rook. Squishy my butt…"

"Knocked?" Rias perked, now sounding genuinely interested in the conversation in some other way besides watching her friend chew out the wizard. "What do you mean?"

"It was awesome, Buchou!" Ise chirped up, shifting as though forgetting he was being punished. A quick look from Rias had him sinking back down guiltily. "That asshole Freed just went at him, using the power of Excalibit Rapidly…!"

"Excalibit?" Rias blinked, but Ise went on without noticing.

"But Dresden just blocked it with some magic shield, and then punched him! He even went flying backwards!" Ise enthused, before blinking as though only just then realizing that no, when a skinny, tall, nondevil punched someone unexpected low atmospheric flight wasn't the most typical of responses. "How did you do that anyway?"

"Magic," I rolled my eyes. Before adding the necessary, "duh."

"How does magic equate personal physical prowess?" Sona demanded, eyes so narrowed I was starting to worry for her. If she kept that up, she might end up getting wrinkles.

"Personal enhancement magic," I folded my arms, glowering down at her. "And I can't believe you kicked me!" Then I paused. "See aforementioned 'duh' as well."

Rias seemed to take a breath, a slow smile spreading as she took in my explanation. Ise even went so far as to tap a fist into an open palm as he realized that magic was more than just flashy explosions, hunting down monsters, and silly string.

Sona reached out and grabbed the tie to my uniform, pulling me down. It was such an unexpected move that I actually yelped, and resolved never to wear my tie again, ever, in personal protest over this manhandling.

"Out with it."

"Excuse me," I scowled, starting to get more than a little annoyed at this. I mean yeah, the creature in front of me was a devil, and a stickler for the rules, and in a position of authority, but who the hell did she think she was to demand of ME…

_Host._

I cut that train of thought off hard and closed my eyes. When I pulled back, instead of holding like I thought she would Sona released without a word. When I opened my eyes, I saw why:

Concern. It wasn't fear, or anger, or surprise.

"Hell's Bells," I muttered softly to myself, reaching up to run a hand through my hair. It was one thing when Sona was being just overbearing, or using me for manual work for the Student Council by holding my internet hostage.

It was another thing when she was genuinely worried about me. No matter how she decided to show it.

Sona seemed to realize that her earlier approach wasn't working, and instead she just folded her arms, peering up at me fearlessly. "I know you, Dresden-kun. Though you aren't always the most ordered of people, you have a solid grasp of tactics and combat. If a personal enhancement spell like you mentioned was so simple, than you wouldn't spend so much time emphasizing your own need to stay from the front lines: you would already be there. So if you refuse to use your skill, even in the face of simple high school hoodlums, than there is a reason." She took a deep breath, and gave me one of those looks that women must have practiced for years upon unsuspecting family members, small animals, and easily intimidated children.

It was the look that said they expected answers, and they were damn well going to get it.

"Out with it."

"It's called 'Winter's Mantle'," I told her softly, sighing as I tried to order my thoughts better. It was still there, the cold in me. "It's a technique to enhance one's ability, at the cost of awakening their predatory nature."

"Oi, oi," Ise half rose up, and even though Rias gave him a quick glare, he didn't seem to notice as he stared at me. "Dresden, it's not something dangerous, is it?"

"It erodes the sanity if you use it too much," I was focused more on Sona than Ise, though I gave him a quick look. "It's a dangerous and forbidden ability, and if you use it too much you risk becoming a monster. Is that what you were looking for?"

By the way Sona flinched, her eyes drifting to the side, I could say that No. It wasn't what she was looking for at all.

I grimaced a moment after, and held up a hand, not wanting to look at anyone as I closed my eyes. "Sorry. Just… sorry. It takes me a bit to come down afterwards, and I'm not a nice person while that's happening. Just… sorry."

"What do you mean, 'monster'?" surprisingly it was Rias that asked that question, and I grimaced, debating whether or not to sugar coat it. I decided to just give it to them straight. If I was going to be mixed up with these devils and involved in combat situations, which seemed pretty likely considering it's already happened twice, they deserved to know what they were getting into when they call me.

"The last person I knew who used it too much became a murderous, drug addicted, pedophilic serial rapist," I finally sighed. "He literally got off on the pain he inflicted. That kind of monster." Then I shrugged. "Sorry, but in my defense, this is really one of those things that sounds a lot worse than it actually is."

"You're using a power that can turn you into someone like that, and it's not as bad as it sounds?" Saji demanded, scowling with genuine disgust as he stared at me. Sona was frowning too, giving me a careful look as she probably tried to decide how much she misjudged me.

"The other guy used the Winter's Mantle constantly, and the over exposure is what eventually made him that way," I offered defensively. "I only use it in life or death cases, and try to have as much space between those as I can. Also, the other guy didn't have a voice in his head to help out," I tapped my forehead as a reminder. "Lash does more for me than just give me answers on tests, you know. With her help I'm able to limit and actually undo any of the corruption, given enough time."

'Thanks for that, by the way,' I mentioned to her.

_Of course, my host,_ Lash answered easily. _It wouldn't do to have anything else corrupt you, seeing as I was not able to. I do have my professional pride, after all._

"I see," Sona finally grimaced, apparently buying my explanation, even if she didn't like it that much. "Dresden-kun, I can't help but ask you why. Why would you even think of learning, much less using, such a reprehensible skill?"

I closed my eyes for a moment, and just felt tired. When I opened them, I just looked at the floor in front of me, remembering.

"I have no problem running away from a fight I think is pointless," I began. "But sometimes, there are fights you just can't run from. Fights where there's too much riding on the outcome, where if you lose or die it could affect too many people, could cause too much pain and suffering. I've been in those fights before too, and if you can't run, and you're dying means that too many others will get hurt, than sometimes you need something to give you that edge." I looked up, not meeting Sona's eyes for fear of soulgaze but coming as close as I could. "If winning that fight means you have to stray onto the left handed path, than I'm the kind of guy who will take that risk. I've done it before, and I'll do it again."

Sona flinched back as though I slapped her, and her expression looked a lot less certain than it had before. Finally she frowned and glanced away. I nodded. It looked like she understood, even if she didn't really agree.

"Dresden," I glanced over at Ise, and found him frowning. He wasn't looking at me though: he was looking at his left arm. He rubbed it, slowly, as though it hurt. "I get it," he glanced up at me, giving me a solemn look. "I really do. Just… like you told me, try not to do it too often, alright? If you end up like that, I would hate to have to beat you up until you came back to normal."

I sighed, chuffing a small laugh as I did so. "You really take the 'friendship' thing pretty seriously, don't you."

"Ise," Rias seemed surprised as well, but when she looked at her servant and saw the arm he was cradling, she frowned. I could guess she was remembering that I wasn't the only one that was willing to take big risks when it came to fights you couldn't lose.

"But," Ise continued, giving me a cautious look as he did so. "If Winter's Mantle is one of those things you have in case you need it, an ace, wouldn't that make the spirit eating your soul another one? I mean, it is using your soul and everything…"

"Yeah," I nodded, shrugging as I did so. "You do not want to know what I had to go through to get Lash to cooperate. Seriously. When it comes to dangerous, I rank Lash a lot higher up there then I do Winter's Mantle."

_That's sweet of you, my host._

'You're welcome.'

"Then," Ise began, narrowing his eyes as he gave me a surprisingly serious look. "If you have two ace's already, er, is it possible that you have more?"

I snorted grimly. "I'm just a squishy little mortal trying to stand up in the big leagues. If I didn't have any other aces, how do you think I lasted this long?"

"Dresden-kun," Sona finally spoke up, though I managed to catch the small sigh that managed to slip through her normally cold exterior. "You are right. I am not, as you put it, 'the boss of you'. However, I still feel that my opinion is not without weight as well. I would request that you refrain as much as possible from using techniques that endanger your life or your sanity. I…" and she hesitated a second here, before turning briefly to look to the side, and oh my god, is she seriously blushing? "… would be worried about you if you did."

_I see,_ Lash actually sounded impressed as I stared at Sona, taking in the way she fidgeted after her confession, and the way she blushed ever so lightly. _So this is the fabled 'gap-moe'. It seems I underestimated the power of the Moe, if even a technique like this existed._

"Kaichou!" Saji was glaring at me again, and I swear, again, the emotional boy was crying once more. Rias again covering her mouth to keep her servants from seeing her smiling.

I, on the other hand, was once again rendered speechless as I stared at Sona. Finally, when she peaked up at me I realized that I had to say something in response, or that special hell awaited me rather than the normal one.

"I-I-I," oh god I was actually stuttering! And was I blushing as well? Damn you hormones! "I'll do my best."

"Good," Sona nodded, recovering her composure with remarkable speed. I think I needed a few deep breaths before I'd be back in control. "Now, as for you…" she began, once more the picture of calm and composure as she turned back to Saji. The boy gulped, realizing that now that I had been dealt with, all of her attention was back on him again. "Stick out your butt."

I'd just about regained my composure when I had to gape again as she literally began spanking the other boy, right then and there. She was actually covering her hand with some kind of demonic energy while she did so.

Er, as punishments go, I suppose that would do. Actually, considering she was literally a devil, it was a lot better than anything involving fire and brimstone.

You know, if Mab had employed similar disciplinary measures, it might have made service under her a lot less nerve wracking.

"Nooo!" Saji wept, and I felt pity for the boy, both for the spanking and the location it was occurring. "Hyoudou! Dresden! Don't look at me! Kaichou! Forgive me! Please!"

"No," Sona told him, still continuing with administering the discipline. "One thousand spankings."

"And as for you two," Rias also seemed to get back into the previous mood that the revelation of my self-destructive habits had broken. I glanced over to see what kind of method she would use, and blinked as she started hugging them instead. "You really are stupid children," she sighed, sounding honestly relieved that they were safe. "Making me worry so much."

I shook my head as Ise flushed, no doubt enjoying be pressed against those oppai that he loved so much.

"Agggh! Kaichou, look at them," Saji protested as the assault on his glutes continued. "They ended with such a nice atmosphere!"

"They are them, we are us," Sona told him coldly.

"I will have my familiars go look for Yuuto," Rias told her servants, and I took the moment to cut in.

"Have them check every place that has a major conjunction of leylines," I told her, narrowing my eyes. "We already confirmed that Kokabiel was using them for his defenses. By now they probably changed locations, but I'm personally going to the hotel they were hiding at before. If I find your missing Knight, I'll drag him home if I have to collar him first."

"Thank you," Rias told me, sounding honestly relieved. "Though it shames me to ask for assistance with my peerage…"

"I'm not doing it for you," I cut her off bluntly. She blinked in surprise. "The way he is now, he might start a fight regardless of where he is, and if he starts something around mortals there's no telling how many people might get hurt."

"True," Rias nodded, though she sounded a bit less grateful than before. Still relieved, but my confession about caring more about bystanders than her Knight seemed to remind her that there was more at stake than just her servants. "These lands are my responsibility as well, so if you find him, or if you come across a battle, please contact me immediately so that I can help ensure the safety of the populace as well."

"Deal," I told her, before Ise chimed in.

"I'll go to," he began, only to pause as Rias began shaking her head immediately.

"No, Ise," she told him firmly. "I'm afraid your disciplining isn't finished yet." Ise blinked, surprised that there was more after everything was apparently forgiven earlier. Then he gulped as demonic power started to gather around his master's hand, just like it had around Sona's. "Now, show me your bottom."

"Eh?" Ise gulped as he realized that Saji wasn't the only one about to be emasculated. He gave me a desperate look, and I couldn't do anything besides shrug.

"Er," I began, before shrugging and offering what solace I could. "You know, there are places where you have to pay for that kind of thing."

"Ehhhh!" Ise squeaked, and I shook my head and made my way to depart. The sounds of embarrassing contact began when I was still in hearing distance, but I ignored them, focusing ahead with a scowl.

Why did things like this always have to get complicated?

***Scene Break***

If there was one thing I missed about my old world, and trust me, there were a whole lot more than one thing I missed, one of the things would be my car.

Honestly, if hadn't ended up being completely flattened so long ago I would have considered bringing it with me when I was locking myself outside reality. Considering just how many things the Blue Beetle has emerged from I couldn't help but think a measly army of Outsiders would stand no chance before its might.

Also, do you have any idea how hard a stakeout is if you don't have a car to do it in?

You have to spend hours, just sitting around when you were properly surveillancing a place, and at times like that having a nice, enclosed area with air condition/heating, as well as a radio really made the experience a lot more bearable. Also, the back seat made for a perfect place to rest the pizza box and/or doughnuts if you had a cop with you.

Plus, no one really looked at cars that much. They were commonplace objects, things you saw sitting around all the time and unconsciously relegated to 'background' when you glanced at them normally.

People paid less attention to cars sitting around for long periods of time than they did to people. And when you were on a stakeout, not being paid attention to was important.

So, when faced with the need to make myself not stand out while suspiciously hanging around in one place for a long period of time, I had been forced to improvise.

"If Sona sees me like this, I will never live it down," I grumbled, before glaring at a passerby who very carefully did not look at me in return.

The trick to not standing out even if you were doing something suspicious, was to make what you were doing seem like a normal thing.

And thus, I, Harry Dresden, wizard, was currently lounging around outside a convenience store, doing my absolute best to act like the yankee delinquent that most of the people in my school thought I already was. I had dug deep to embody as many clichés as I could, from the slouching way I was crouched, legs spread wide, to the can of soda and scattered food wrappers around me. I'd even got a pack of cigarettes, though I was only had one tucked behind my ear and was fiddling with another in what I hoped was a thuggish manner. Whenever anyone looked at me, I made sure to catch their eye and tried to look menacing.

I'll give Japan this much. When the Japanese decide to ignore something that's out in the open, they really do pull off the not looking. Even though I was parked in a fairly busy intersection, and even though I was out in the open, not a single passerby gave me more than one look. A lot of them didn't even spare me that many.

Though, the convenience store clerk who was giving me nervous and annoyed looks had definitely shot me a few dark looks as well, nervous though they may be.

In my defense, if I want to put it like that, I did look like a delinquent, after all: tall, teenaged, scraggly, with a long black coat, and a big stick.

"Embrace the cliché, Dresden," I muttered to myself, holding my phone in front of me and periodically fiddling with it like I was playing a game or waiting on a call from one of my other delinquent buddies. "Use the cliché, and make it your power. Who needs a good reputation anyway? Bah. Stupid things, good reputations. Never had any use for them."

I groaned, and decided cliché be damned, I needed to stretch my legs. Standing, I tossed my garbage into a nearby recycling bin, and started to make my way to a nearby alley, also prime delinquent lurking territory.

Four hours. That's how long I'd been keeping an eye on the hotel, and so far not a peep. I'd been halfway convinced when I first arrived it would be to find broken down doors, angry or scared civilians, and ancient superpowered fallen angel doing valiant battle with devil and exorcist alike.

I was partly relieved that so far it looked like my earlier guess was right: Mr. Talks-to-himself and his cronies had probably flown the coup a while ago, and either Kiba and the Excalibit users had already verified that and pursued, or they had just been in plain pursuit the entire time. Either way, I was almost close to relaxing with the knowledge that the war between Heaven and Hell wouldn't be breaking out in the middle of a densely populated city.

Which meant that high leveled fallen angel and his crazy cohorts was still loose, only now I had no idea where they were, as well as a vengeance obsessed devil and two trigger happy holy-sword maidens, also with me having no idea where they were, were also rampaging around the city.

I just love it when there's a Brightside.

I had just settled myself in for the next bit of skulking when a buzz from the phone in my hand nearly made me drop it. I was still getting in the habit of turning off my ringtone when doing investigatory stuff, and I had to be honest, I didn't like the amount of sound vibrations made either. I was beginning to suspect that I would have to just turn it off while on the job and hope that the calls I missed weren't important.

Still, when I saw the number being displayed, I frowned, before moving to answer it. Then I paused for a moment, considered everything I knew about the situation, and sighed.

"Hit me," were the first words I said when I accepted the call and put it to my ear.

"Er, what?" Ise asked, sounding confused when I skipped the typical polite ways of answering.

"We're in the middle of a crisis and you're calling me late at night," I counted off my reasons. "And lately every time you call me up or approach me out of nowhere, you say something outrageous that takes at least fifteen minutes of explanation before I get caught up with events. So hit me. What happened?"

"Erm," Ise began, and I slumped when I identified his tone as 'sheepish'. "Kokabiel just threw a beat up Irina at us, and then announced that he was going to Kuoh Academy to start a rampage. He wants to restart the war between the Three Powers, and he's targeting Buchou, the current Lucifer's little sister in order to do it."

I was silent for a moment.

"Alright," I finally said, my tone soft. "Leaving off all the things I really want to ask about, you said he was planning to rampage, just to start a war, correct?"

"Yes," Ise's voice had lost its sheepishness, and I was willing to bet he was putting on his warface himself. He sounded angry, outraged, and agitated, all classic signs of someone hot-blooded working themselves up. He sounded like I used to sound, back the first time I was this age.

"I'm across town right now," I reported to him, already turning and starting to run towards the nearest train station. "I'm heading to the station. It takes eight minutes by train for me to make it to the station by Kuoh. I'll probably be there in fifteen, twenty at the latest. What's the plan?"

"Buchou is calling Kaichou and letting them know what's happening!" Ise growled. "We're planning on heading over there ourselves. I think they're still deciding what we're going to do, so I took the chance to give you a call!"

"Thanks for that," I told him, having trouble suppressing a quick half grin. "I'll get an update once I make it."

"Thanks, Dresden," Ise told me, and he sounded relieved. He gave a quick bitter laugh. "I said all that stuff about having your back if you ever need it, but in the end it always looks like I'm the one who always needs help."

"What are friends for?" I told him, before scowling. "Okay, seriously. We're guys. We're not allowed to admit we have emotions. It's against the man code. Let's quit with the heart to heart mushy stuff, grunt, and pretend like that last bit never happened, okay?"

"Right," Ise laughed, though it sounded like it was despite himself as he did it, before he trailed off. "Dresden, Kokabiel… he's crazy."

"I've never been accused of being a sterling example of sanity myself," I reminded him.

"No, I mean he's REALLY crazy," Ise pressed, sounding unusually serious for someone who spent most of their time proclaiming their love of breasts. "He doesn't really want anything but for the war to start again. It's like he's just obsessed with battle, and he doesn't care what happens as long as he gets it."

"I've met the type before," I told him with a grimace. Ise was quiet for a moment. Then he just grunted.

"When you get here, be careful," he just told me seriously. Then he continued in an aggrieved tone. "And if you see Kiba, smack him upside the head and drag him with you, okay!"

"You be careful from the start," I told him. "I'll be there as fast as I can. Good luck."

"Thanks," Ise told me. He took a deep breath, and I could hear it shaking as he did so. "Okay, it looks like we're leaving. Bye for now."

The call ended, and I grit my teeth, abandoning any attempt at subtly and bulling my way through anyone who stood between me and the nearest station.

"I swear, I'm learning that teleportation magic if I have to pin a devil to the ground and force it out of them," I growled.

Rampage. A high classed angel was going to go on one, just so he can satisfy his taste for blood. He was doing it for no other reason than to start a war so he could go on slaughtering to his heart's content.

In other words, this was the kind of thing I lived to kill.

Still, once the dust was all settled, I was definitely going to follow up on a few things.

Like the current Lucifer's sister being Gremory Rias.

I picked up my pace, and spending another brief moment wishing that the Beetle was here.

***Scene Break***

"Okay," I panted, as I made it to the gates of Kuoh Academy. I put my hands on my knees as I took deep breaths. I'd been sprinting as best I could to make it here, and it seemed wise to take a quick breather and get stock of the situation before charging on in in this condition. "I swear… teleportation… or a car. One or the other."

"You are still too young to have a license, Dresden-kun," Sona chided me sternly. I glanced up to see her floating down, standing on some sort of spinning glowing circle. All around the academy were more of the student council members, all of them holding their hands up in a way that just screamed 'ritual' to me.

"All I need is a license, and I know a guy who knows a guy," I told her, managing a fleeting grin as I started to get my breath back.

"Really?" I spared a glance to Tsubasa as she made her circle float closer, though only a glance. I found my gaze drawn to the school, and the strange feel of magic that encircled it. "Why do you know a guy like that?"

"Because I keep trying to get a shotgun, and you have no idea how tight Japan's gun laws are," I admitted, before I yelped as Sona made her displeasure known to me. "Gargh y'u 'ullin' 'ai 'eek!?" I tried to demand.

"Did you just admit to be trying to illegally acquire fire arms?" Sona demanded, glaring at me as yes, she continued to pinch my freaking cheek. Nearby, I caught sight of Saji as he glared at me, though I could also make out Tsubaki as she covered a giggle.

"'aybe?" I offered cautiously, and then winced as she pinched harder. "Okay, enough of that!" I pulled her fingers of my cheek, narrowing my eyes at her. "Is it just me, or has the level of violence just been growing lately?"

Sona did not deign to respond, merely lifting her nose and glancing to the side with great dignity.

"Oh, I see how it is," I grumbled. "And now we see the oppression inherent in the system. Come on everyone, come see the oppression inherent in the system."

"Is that Monty Python?" Tsubasa asked, though she had a hand up to cover a giggle as she did so. It lasted for a moment as she gave Sona a brief narrowed look before she turned her attention on me completely.

"At last! A believer in this land of heathens!" I proclaimed, giving her a thumbs up, and she smiled shyly at me.

"I've only just gotten a copy, but it was really good," Tsubasa admitted. "I was wondering if you had any other recommendations?" She gave me a quick look, before glancing away and beginning to absentmindedly twiddle her fingers. "If you like, you could bring some movies that you recommend over to my house sometime. My T.V. is a rather big one…"

"Enough," Sona interrupted, giving a glare at the other girl as she cut her off. I wondered just what had managed to upset her, before I remembered.

Oh yeah. Love triangle.

Man, if it wasn't for the fact that they were underage and literally devils, I'd be cheering over the fact that it was finally the wizards turn.

"Right," I agreed, straightening and shrugging my shoulders to pull a crack from them. "Okay. What's the situation in there?"

"Kokabiel, Galilei Balba, and the fallen exorcist Freed are all present," Sona told me, tearing her gaze away from her servant as she settled it on me. Her tone was serious even for the chronically uncheerful girl that she normally was. "We are expecting reinforcements in roughly fifty minutes, but until then, Rias and her peerage are trying to buy time." She gave me a careful look. "Dresden-kun, though it pains me to drag someone not of the Three Powers into this, we really do need your assistance in this matter if lives are going to be spared. Will you help?"

"Gee," I muttered, straightening my coat with a sigh. "Are you asking me if am I willing to throw myself into a battle between fallen and devils, with a creature that ranks among the leaders of one of the great powers, a being that surpasses humanity in every aspect and can probably crush me like a bug with a glance?"

My staff lit up as though redhot embers made up its core, the ruins within glowing and the smell of sulfur wafted in the air.

"I mean, are you really asking? I thought you knew me better than that by now, Prez."

Sona gave me a brief look, before she sighed in relief, a small smile appearing just for a second and only if you knew how to look for it.

"Why," Saji spoke up, and I glanced at him more out of curiosity than anything else. "Why? It's just like you said. This fight… it's pretty bad. It wouldn't be wrong to say it's hopeless. So why are you so willing to get involved?" the other boy was scowling, but it was more than just his usual dislike of me that was there. I knew that look.

He was scared. That's fine. It meant he was sane.

"Because there are some fights you can run from, and there are some you can't," I told him, my tone so matter of fact that it made him blink as he remembered my earlier declaration. "Guess which one this is?"

Saji straightened, staring at me as though it was the first time he'd ever seen me. Finally he coughed, and glared to the side. "Yeah, I guess it is, isn't it."

"Dresden-kun," I turned back to Sona, to find the young devil giving me what qualified for as a cautious look for her. She seemed to be fighting some kind of internal war.

Then, she blushed.

Oh god, I was never going to get used to seeing that.

Still blushing, she looked to the side, unwilling to look at me directly. "Please… be careful. I don't want to worry about you…"

Oh god, please stop. The precipice of life or death battle with an eldritch abomination straight out of the bad side of the bible was no place to be indulging in teenage angst and romance!

'And no, Lash, I am not blushing!' I told her furiously.

_I never said any such thing, my host,_ I could hear her giggle, I swear.

'You didn't need to; I could feel you thinking it.'

"Anyway," I declared loudly, using the awesome power of my wizarding self-control to focus on the relevant issues, like impending Armageddon level final bosses waiting for me just a few feet ahead. "I'll just be going now."

Okay, not the coolest line ever, but I suppose I could have done worse.

"Dresden," I was surprised when it was Saji who spoke up once again. I glanced at him to see him, surprisingly, giving me a serious look. "Good luck."

Huh. Color me surprised. After a scene like that with his beloved Kaichou, I was pretty sure fond wishes were the last thing I could have expected from him.

"Dresden-kun," I blinked in surprise again as Tsubasa spoke up, and I realized the other girl had gotten a lot closer. As in, right next to my face closer. "Good luck from me too," she told me.

Then she kissed me on the cheek.

"Urk," I told her in my must debonair fashion. Then I swallowed as something immensely powerful gathered behind my back, a hateful malice I could identify even without looking.

Idiot that I was, I looked anyway.

Yup. That was Sona alright. And wow. The girl had talent, if the mass of water starting to form behind her was any measuring stick. I couldn't quite tell if she was glaring at me or Tsubasa, but luckily I had a plan for this kind of situation already.

"Going to go face imminent death now, catch ya all later, bye," I declared quickly, before throwing a veil on myself and running to the lesser of evils in the death match with Kokabiel.

It was just a matter of choosing the battle I had a chance at winning. However infinitely small that chance might be, it was still better than sticking around for THAT kind of fallout.

So when I crossed whatever barrier the devils were making to keep the phenomenal cosmic power from interfering with normal everyday life, and was a greeted by a scene of carnage and violence, I sighed in relief.

Finally something I could deal with.

I took stock of the situation, letting my experienced eyes roam even as my body drifted sideways, trying to remain as far back and unnoticeable as possible. This situation had the smell of 'sucker punch' all over it, and if I could end it all with a well-placed fireball to the back of the head, than I was cool with that.

Captain Loony was down, and I might not be a referee but I was pretty sure being opened from shoulder to hip counted as 'down for the count', so that was good at least. All the action seemed to be focused around the large courtyard that the school was built around, and most of that seemed to be taken up by glowing lights and magic circles. Judging from some of the craters, and what looked like the corpses of several giant three headed dogs of all things, I was a bit late to miss the start of the fight. In the center Chief Crony Galilei had the look of someone who just realized how screwed they were.

Judging by the fact that Kiba, who had a history of serious beef with him and was currently holding some kind of shining black sword that I could spot a mile away as trouble, and Xenovia, who was holding a great big blue sword that also had the kind of aura that made me think 'badass', were both eying him like he was about to be joining the ranks of the dismembered, I guess Galilei kind of earned that look.

"H-holy demonic sword?" the seriously screwed former priest was stuttering. "Impossible! The polar opposite of two things cannot merge!"

I kept quiet, keeping one eye on the shenanigans, and the other high, high above me.

Where the freaking glowing monstrosity with ten black wings was currently sitting on a freaking floating throne and looking down in a way which made me want to give him the finger through sheer instinctual rebellion against powers that I really should be more polite too.

"Galilei Balba!" Kiba shouted, and the kid sounded about as worked up as I'd ever heard him. Definitely bad blood there alright. "Prepare yourself!"

The blond swordsman wasn't the only one present. It only took a glance to make sure that everyone else from the Gremory group seemed alright. Asia was well back from the fight with Koneko standing between her and combat. It looked like the tiny Rook had been roughed up a bit, but it didn't seem to extend any further than wardrobe malfunction. Though it could have been worse before Asia had a chance to work her magic. The rest of the group was in a similar state: Rias and Akeno both looked hale and healthy, albeit indecent at the moment, and Ise had definitely seen his share of combat at this point. His arm was red and armored, and some of the jewels there were glowing in strange patterns.

Good. My eyes strayed back up to where what I was pretty sure was Kokabiel was sitting.

It was my first time meeting a real power in this world.

It scared me.

Back in my world, I'd met creatures out of myth and legend. I'd spoken with Lasciel, a fallen herself. I'd been on relatively good terms with Uriel, all things considered. Hell's bells, I'd been Mab's knight.

I'd even met Santa Clause. It was awesome.

All sorts of creatures of power. But the difference between then and now, was that then that power had had rules. It had been constrained. There had been laws and bindings that engineered how those creatures could interact, how they could move. It had been dangerous, and god knows I had played it fast and loose way more than I should have, but if you knew those laws and rules you could be reasonably certain you had a chance to make it out alive and relatively unharmed.

This thing, hanging in the sky, it didn't have those rules. It didn't have those laws. 'Power has a purpose', the Gatekeeper had told me.

This was all power, and with none of the purpose.

How the hell had this world lived as long as it had with things like THAT running rampant?

"I see!" Galilei didn't seem to actually recognize the fact that Kiba was about to get medieval on him. The priest seemed caught up in one of those strange and horrifying moments of epiphany that happened sometimes when you really caught a glimpse of the secret workings of the world. "Holy and demonic! If the powers became unbalanced, it would make sense! Then not only the Maou, but even God…!"

I got my chance to see Kokabiel move. It was unnerving.

The flick of his wrist was so casual but the lance of what looked like pure light was so fast that it didn't seem possible for the two to be logically related to the other. But that was all it took.

Galilei erupted as the lance of light tore through him, blood gushing out of him like it was pressurized or something.

Normally, seeing a mortal get attacked by a creature like that made me mad. This time, I couldn't help but feel he probably had it coming.

"Balba," Kokabiel sneered as he casually displayed just why it was most evil villains were so willing to offer great health plans but lousy life insurance, "the fact that you were able to make that conclusion, even to that level, was proof enough. But I don't mind whether you are with me or not; I could have done it myself from the start." With a casual move he stood, and the weird floating throne thing vanished. "Hahahahaha! Sekiryuutei! Increase your power and transfer it to another. And you," I froze as that mad look locked on to me, veil or not, "how long are you going to skulk around for? Show yourself!"

"Dresden!" Ise called out in a relieved tone as I let my veil drop. Rias was more focused on the enemy, her expression angry.

"Are you trying to give us a handicap?" she demanded, glaring up at the fallen. "Don't mess around!"

"Mess around? You are the guys who are messing around." Kokabiel sneered down at us. "Do you really think you have a chance of defeating me?"

Rias grit her teeth, obviously aware of the difference in their present power, and I took that as a sign for me to cut in.

"So, let me see if I got this straight?" I called up. "Basically, you're going to just give us as much time as we need to prepare ourselves just to make this a fun match, right?"

"As though any of you have even a chance unless I do!" he laughed and I nodded seriously.

"In that case, I have to inform you that yes, I do have a method to defeat you," I told him with a straight face. I saw surprise on his face briefly. "It does involved a long, complicated ritual though. Should take about forty five minutes to prepare. Mind if I get started?"

The funny part was, I actually gave this fifty fifty odds. The immortal type like him never really paid much attention to time. They could literally disregard decades the way some humans lost track of minutes or hours. We didn't need to win here, after all: reinforcements were on their way.

I saw Ise give me a surprised look, and Rias took a sharp breath as she realized my rather obvious goal. Unfortunately, it looked like Kokabiel did too.

"Do you take me for a fool?" he snorted, glaring down at me. "Even if you manage to amuse me for longer than I anticipated, the moment that wretched Sirzechs shows up is the moment I slaughter his sister, directly in front of him!"

I gave a sigh and glanced over to the Gremory group. "Well, Plan A just failed," I admitted sheepishly. "I guess we can try Plan B?"

"I liked Plan A," Akeno gave me a brief smile as she pulled her already ragged priestess uniform around her. It didn't really do much for her modesty, and if we weren't facing eminent death I would have whistled, then looked away and offered my coat. Unfortunately, my coat was also my primary method of stopping myself from being pierced, cut, set on fire, frozen, covered in acid and shot at, so for now the coat would have to stay on me. Maybe once combat was finished. "I thought it was quite clever."

"So what's Plan B?" Ise demanded, looking between me and the waiting Kokabiel.

"Typically, for me, Plan B is run," I admitted, scowling. "Since we can't do that, we can use my Plan C if you want?"

"…that is?" Koneko didn't seem at all self-conscious about her own state of disarray, and I was glad we weren't anywhere public, because she was pure lolicon bait at the moment.

"Set it on fire," I said bluntly. Rias sighed at my less than inspiring plan. "If I had time to prepare for this, or if he had some sort of objective, maybe I could have come up with something better, but he's just after mayhem and destruction. I don't think we're getting out of this without getting our hands dirty. Unless any of you got anything?"

"Unfortunately, no," Rias admitted grimly.

"Well?" Kokabiel demanded, growling in the air as his wings flexed. "My patience grows thin!"

"Look," I shouted back at him rolling my eyes. "It would pretty much take a miracle for us to beat you, right? So then just be patient while we plan it out. If you rush a miracle worker you get bad miracles."

"And do you really think any plan or tactic you could devise might be able to overcome me?" Kokabiel demanded, eyes narrowed though he sounded more eager than insulted.

"Do you want to risk a really awesome showdown just because you couldn't wait fifteen minutes?" I offered back.

And to my surprise, he actually paused to think about that. Finally he folded his arms and glared down. "You have ten."

"Dresden," Rias hissed, staring at me as I casually bantered with the creature hovering above us. It was look echoed by most of her group as well.

"I've dealt with the immortal all powerful type before," I hissed back. "And there's one thing I've noted: they all love to talk. If we can lure him into a monologue, we could buy a lot of time. If we can get a villainous explanation or boasting out of him, we could probably just sit back and wait for the reinforcements to arrive without him even noticing. Hell's bells, even just the prep time he's offering is a chunk of time closer to us having backup."

"Rias," Akeno spoke up, using her master's given name for once. Rias grimaced, but nodded, still glaring up at the fallen waiting patiently like a school teacher looking forward to seeing a class project. And to kill us without mercy if we don't get a passing grade.

"So what's the plan than?" Ise demanded, looking back and forth between me and his master. He had a serious expression, and though he looked like he didn't know what he was about to do he was willing to get on with it.

"Frankly, a drawn out fight would buy time, but it would probably be a fight that we had no chance of winning and end bad for us," I listed quickly, and Rias nodded.

"So, one massive all or nothing strike?" she offered. I grimaced, but nodded.

"Who are the heavy hitters in your group?" I asked, glancing around. Everyone had drawn in, even Xenovia who technically was on a whole other team.

"Magic wise, it would be Akeno and myself," Rias listed. "In close combat, Yuuto's Holy-Demonic Sword and Xenovia's Durandal are powerful, but have to be close. After that is Koneko-chan, but she uses her fists, and it would be dangerous to be close. Ise can transfer his power to any of us depending on our need, and Asia-chan has little combat value…"

"I'm sorry," the sister wilted, and Rias quickly shook her head.

"No, Asia-chan," she corrected. "With your Sacred Gear, we will be counting on you if anyone gets injured."

"Right," I nodded, frowning. "I'm thinking we do this in three waves. I'll take the first round, and I'll concentrate on getting him to the ground and hopefully immobilizing him. After that you and Akeno step in. If Ise turbo charges you and I manage to keep him in one place, then you can unload a whole lot of smack down on him. After that, hopefully while he's still reeling and gasping on his last breath, knock on wood," I casually tapped my fist to my skull as I added that, and Asia giggled, "then Xenovia, Kiba, and Koneko step in and finish him off."

Rias' eyes glimmered as she began to smile fiercely. "Effective. Ise, begin charging your Sacred Gear." Despite the grim situation, Rias' smile grew sly. "You know, I still have my Evil Pieces. Dresden, surely if you…"

"Devil, get thee behind me," I rolled my eyes with a snort. Xenovia actually cracked a small smile at the blunt dismissal.

"Dresden," Ise began, though his Sacred Gear was already repeating the word 'Boost' at set intervals. "Maybe if I were to transfer my power to you, since you're having the first strike…"

"I have my own way of powering up," I told him, and he glowered. "Not anything insanely dangerous. Don't you remember when we were looking for Koki-chan up there, that I mentioned Kuoh Academy had a whole lot of something special?"

Ise just looked confused, but Kiba's eyes suddenly widened in realization. "I see," he proclaimed, and he smiled briefly. I recognized that look: it was the kind you put on right when you realized that someone had an ace up their sleeve and he was about to sneak it into his hand.

"…Koki-chan?" Koneko repeated, giving me a flat look, and I shrugged.

"I couldn't think of anything as catchy as 'Excalibits' this time," I admitted. "They can't all be winners."

"So you were the one who came up with that?" Akeno managed a giggle despite the situation. She gave me a coquettish look for a second as well. "And what's this I hear about someone liking 'lashes'?"

"Er," I began, temporarily confused at the change in subject. "Wait, you mean Lash's name? Well, it's not like I came up with it, though I guess I kind of did…"

"It looks like we might have something in common to talk about later," Akeno gave me a strange look. Not as in strange as in I didn't recognize it. It was strange because it was the kind of look Lara would give me right before suggesting something I was morally obligated to turn down no matter how fascinating it might appear, and seeing it on a teenage devil was just awkward.

"Well?" Kokabiel demanded, and I rolled my eyes.

"Stars and stones, he sounds like a kid in the backseat asking 'are we there yet, are we there yet?'," I muttered, before straightening and giving him a glare. "We're done plotting. Give us a sec to finish all the power ups."

"Good," his scowl grew into a bloodthirsty grin, and I couldn't help but wonder how so many of my fights might have gone if more of the big hitters I'd thrown down on were so willing to let me dot all my 'I's and cross all my 'T's. "But if you fail to impress me, than I shall make your suffering legendary!"

"Where have I heard that one before?" I muttered, before closing my eyes. Focusing, I began my own preparations for what was probably going to be a glorious failure.

"Dresden," Ise called out, and I opened my eyes, staring up challengingly at Kokabiel as I set my will. "We're ready!"

"Here goes a whole lot of nothing," I declared and leveled my staff. "Down in front! _Infriga_! _Infriga et ignus fuego_!"

I was still rather young as a wizard. Don't get me wrong, I was pushing forty at this point, so I wasn't quite the babe that I used to be in comparison to some of the other wizards out there. I mean, back in my world I still wasn't close to getting the respect that I would get when I finished my first century, but I was more along the lines 'irascible teenager' rather than 'swaddling babe' that I had been when I first started advertising in the phone book. However, when it came to pure lethal experience I was well up there with some of the more accomplished Wardens at this point.

I'd picked up more than a few vicious tricks in my time. Also, after enough flailing around in the dark, I had also learned how to set things up so that if the first try didn't work, the second or third could still come through.

Fire erupted from me. It poured upwards, not the usual flame thrower like stream I used in close to mid-range combat, but a single enormous roiling ball of near liquid seeming flame. I struggled to maintain a minimal shape of a ball, though it continued to grow even as it closed in on the waiting Kokabiel, but once fire was made it acted like fire, so it took an effort of will to hold it together. By the time it reached him, it had managed to make it to the respectable size of a small house.

"This is it?" Kokabiel demanded, snorting in amusement. The arrogant jerk just put out a hand, trying to catch the ball of fire, but then he had a moment to look surprised as rather than stopping like it just spread around him, seeking to absorb him entirely. "Ho!"

Despite his surprise at fire actually acting like fire and not just stopping like a giant beach ball like he seemed to expect it to be, he just grinned wider, and flexed his wings. I'm not sure if it was physical force or some kind of use of his power I just didn't understand, but it seemed to be enough, and my fireball scattered, dissipating into the air around him.

"Unexpected, but still disappointing," he declared, and I growled back at him, sweat starting to form as I struggled to keep the second part of my spell in effect.

"Look up, asshole," I told him, before pointing with my staff and gritting out the second part of my attack. "_Gravitus_!"

Kokabiel had only a second to look at me in surprise, and then a freaking glacier slammed into him from above.

As I was saying, still young, but starting to shape up at this point. My experiments with fire and ice had at least let me advance to the next level in using them. Magic might be the act of manipulating the world around you through pure will, but the manipulation was still subject to natural laws. Fire and ice were at their fundamental nature just the manipulation of heat, after all. So, even as my ball of fire had grown, that heat had had to come from somewhere. Rather than just generate by exciting particles, the noob's method of making fire, these days I was rather good at taking that heat from somewhere else instead.

Like the air directly above Kokabiel's head. Even as the fire had grown larger and larger, the location I had taken it from had frozen, and that ice had grown larger and larger in relation.

I still sucked at gravity magic, though. That wasn't something I could really use casually. I'd seen what Ebenezer could do with it though, so I had at least a grounding in it. And hey, here I was, in a magically rich conjunction of leylines with an enemy perfectly willing to give me the time I needed to tap into it.

In a circle maybe twenty feet in diameter, centered right around where Kokabiel was casually hanging in space directly below a glacier the size of a small house, gravity just kicked it up a notch. Like, twenty notches, actually.

"What is…!" Kokabiel managed to get out like a clichéd villain right out of a game or an anime, and then he was struggling not to get crushed by several tons of ice. I grit my teeth, pushing down with my staff as I added more force to the ice, trying to end this all by just stomping the fallen flat like he was a fly.

And now, if I lived, I suddenly had the urge to make some kind of fly swatting spell using the same principles. I mean, how cool would it be if you could just snap your fingers and get the annoying buggers with tiny magically controlled slabs of ice?

Hopefully it would be a lot more effective than this attempt, because despite the fact that I had just dropped a house on him while simultaneously trying to squash him indirectly through the use of his own mass in a high gravity environment, I could only grit my teeth as Kokabiel showed just how big a wig he had.

Man, it had worked with the Wicked Witch of the East. Guess she had been a pushover.

"Hahahaha!" Kokabiel was laughing as the crazy broken character that he was managed to get his feet under him. I swear, somehow, he was actually managing to hold the entire mass of ice up, even as the ground around him was flattening, the gravity affecting everything else in the circle. "Oh? What a nasty trick, magician!"

"Oh, just stand there for a second," I grit out. "My next trick involves bunnies, I swear." Throwing this much power at once was gonna put me out of the fight for a few minutes, but if I was going all out I had one last trick to use. "_Laqueus_!"

There. It was just a touch, only a brief amount, but soulfire burned as I cast from my empty hand. I might have been able to hit him with it normally, seeing as he tended not to dodge just to show off, but hey, why take the chance when you can pin him in one place via use of massive amounts of ice and leyline strengthened gravity magic?

Better to have multiple avenues to victory rather than risk it all on just one.

"You think…hrk!" he got out as he managed to free one hand, still blocking the other two attacks with what appeared to be minimal effort with just the one, but his eyes widened as the cord of pure glittering silver hit that hand and continued, dragging it backwards and pinning it to his neck as it whipped around his throat three times, tightening and constricting. His eyes widened even further in shock as he tried to pull it free and failed.

Soulfire wasn't the kind of thing you could brush off like fire and ice. It was a literal power of creation, given shape and form by my will at the risk of one day destroying myself from within.

"Now!" I shouted, gasping as the final strike of my combo landed. "Kill it! Kill it with fire!"

"Right!" I heard Rias shout, and I felt something literally erupt behind me, a power that made my skin tingle and my hair stand on end. "Blow away!"

"Ara, ara!" Akeno declared as well, "Thunder, resound!"

Two massive attacks blasted from out of sight. Judging by the shouts, the massive blast of lightning that put my earlier fireball to shame probably came from Akeno, and I wasn't sure if it was just because she was a devil or if Ise's little turbo-charge trick was really that awesome, but it was astounding. I'd never seen anyone outside of the upper ranks of the White Council throw a punch like that with that element. I mean, maybe Elaine might have managed it, but she was just naturally good at using lightning.

The other attack, quite frankly, scared the hell out of me.

'Lash,' I panted as I watched something that looked like a rolling wave of darkness laced with crimson barreled across the courtyard. In its wake was nothing. I mean that. Nothing. The ground it touched, any dirt or rubbish that got between it and its target, just gone. 'What the hell is that?'

_We've witnessed it before, my host,_ Lash told me, though she sounded concerned as well. Concerned and more than a little intrigued. _The priestess called it 'Power of Destruction'._

'Lots of people call whatever two bit trick they come up with 'Power of Destruction'. But I've never seen anything like this,' I protested watching as the two attacks barreled into Kokabiel. The lightning came from above, carving its way through my iceberg. It broke its way through, and despite my best efforts it was enough for me to lose my hold on the gravity in the area. Kokabiel didn't seem to notice as he desperately tried to pull his hand away from his neck, my garrote proving to be a big enough distraction as he realized with a panic, that no, he wasn't getting out that easy. He only realized at the last moment that he was even in danger.

He got a hand up in time to block the lightning, but as Akeno's attack was blocked, he only had a moment to widen his eyes as the black and crimson wave enveloped him.

_It seems we've found another mystery of this world that bears investigating,_ Lash murmured.

'Why do you sound so excited about it?' I demanded, crossing my fingers and panting as my magic took its toll. I felt a bit like a wet sack at this point, though the strength was returning to me steadily. I hadn't held back much with my three hit combo, even though it only looked like the third part was really good for anything else but distractions.

_Do you have any idea how long it's been since I, or rather, my originator, have come across something we did not immediately understand?_ She actually sounded excited, as though the thought of playing kid detective or researcher was interesting to her.

'Considering that you're older than time itself, I can hazard a guess,' I admitted. I forced myself away from staring in horror and backing away from the eldritch abominable power I was bearing witness to, and paid more attention to whether or not it was actually being effective.

"Empty night," I swore, as despite the fact that whatever it was Rias had thrown at him was horrifyingly destructive at a level that frankly terrified me, Kokabiel actually appeared to be fighting it off. His robes were tattered, and I could make out spots of him that looked blistered or burnt, hell's bells, there was even parts of him that just looked like they were gone, gouges on his body that began welling up with blood the moment the power that had been eating at him was forced off of him through what appeared to be the sheer force of his power.

However, even if he was apparently combatting a pure force of annihilation and winning, he did not look at all happy. And the reason why? Wrapped around his neck my soulfire forged bonds were still digging into him. He was gritting his teeth now, and prior experience with being strangled let me guess just what he was going through right now. The edges of his vision were probably starting to fade, and that desperate need to breathe, the panic all creatures got when such a simple function was cut off from them, was setting in.

"Now!" I heard Kiba shout as the last of whatever it was Rias had thrown began to die out. He and Xenovia moved, their two obviously badass swords moving in conjunction. It was a simple high and low combo, but with one hand stuck to his head, I had a moment of hope that it might be enough.

It was only a moment.

In his free hand, despite the fact that he had to be feeling the lack of air (Or did he? Did fallen even need to breathe? Okay, maybe I should have clarified that first…) his free hand formed a sword of light, and it was apparently strong enough to stop whatever it was Xenovia was wielding. In regards to Kiba, he simply lifted a leg and stomped, slamming the blade to the ground and to a halt with his foot. His head twitched wildly, but I realized it wasn't just asphyxiation that was prompting the movement. Behind him, I could make out Koneko trying to sneak in the sucker punch, and I wasn't sure what it was that prompted me to move, but I thrust my staff out.

"_Infriga!_" I gave it my best shot, but I was just too tapped to put much into it. Ice erupted on Kokabiel's wings, but it shattered without slowing him down at all. The tiny girl was struck away like an annoying bug, blood erupting from her as she was sent flying.

"Koneko-chan!" Asia screamed, already running around the field for the triage. If she got there in time, then Koneko stood a good chance of making it through the night. However, it looked like Kokabiel had had managed to regain his wits enough to focus.

The shockwave erupted from his body, literally, further blasting poor Koneko across the ground and sending Kiba and Xenovia flying as well. He launched himself into the air, light glistening around him as he made space, and his free hand grasped my garrote, and he began pulling.

"Oh come on!" I snapped in disbelief as my rope of soulfire stretched, resisting probably far more force than Kokabiel had ever expected it to bear up to, but finally, through sheer grunt power, my thin construction shattered as Kokabiel roared in triumph, a roar which was offset by the gasping breaths that followed.

Guess fallen did need to breathe. I'd keep that in mind for later. If there was a later.

I was pretty much tapped for another few minutes at this point. It had taken a lot of effort throwing two hits like that, and even if I had been using the leylines for the gravity spell it had still taken effort and power as well. The soulfire had only been a bit, but it had proven effective at the least. If this went on, I was going to have to fall back on it, and probably Winter as well until some of my magic recovered.

On the Gremory side, Rias was panting, and I was willing to bet she had put most of her own strength into that one shot as well, banking on us being able to overwhelm him while he was still looking down on us. Akeno was in the same state. Ise was still mobile, but if I read it right he needed time to properly build up another one of those power boost thingies of his, time we might not have. Kiba and Xenovia were mostly functional, but the effectiveness of swords was limited, and close combat had proven to be a bad idea. Koneko looked a lot better after only a few moments of Asia's attention, but she still needed time too.

Time we might not have. Kokabiel was injured, probably a lot more than he had expected to be, but he was breathing again, and he didn't seem terribly weakened despite his wounds. His expression was maddened, and I got the impression that he had a lot in common with a bear that had just taken some buckshot to the behind and was looking to find the one who had poked him. His crazy look was focused on all of us, and his mouth was pulled back in a sneer.

Then, rather than smiting us as was most likely appropriate, he began to laugh. It was a loud, deep one, and if anyone else was giving it then it would have prompted several calls to the men in white to please take the crazy guy away.

"You! Magician!" Kokabiel howled in delight. "That spell! I'd never seen it's like before! And you, Gremory Rias! To think that your power could grow so much! It was that of ultimate class, maybe even a Maou! It seems your brother wasn't the only one with talent in the family! And even you," he turned that mad look at Akeno, "it seems you inherited the power of Barakiel as well!"

"Don't mention that name to me!" Akeno snapped, a startling scowl on her usually composed face.

"Even after having lost the masters you serve, you devils and followers of god can sure fight!" Kokabiel seemed ecstatic. And when the crazy guy with godlike power is happy, that generally isn't a good thing. I was busy focusing on that, that I almost missed it when Rias spoke up.

"…What do you mean?" she demanded doubtfully, and I realized that I had missed something that she had caught on to in that last exchange.

"Hahahaha!" he was still caught up in blood thirst, but Kokabiel seemed to realize something as he leered down at us. "Oh, that's right! I completely forgot. The truth was never revealed to the lower ranks. Then I'll tell you: in the war between the sides, not only the four Maou were killed, but even God was as well!"

I gaped. I could not honestly bring myself to do anything but stare at the fallen. If he wanted to, he probably could have just walked up and gutted me at that point, because that's how freaking out of it I was.

'God. God is dead. Lash, did I hear that correctly?'

_I… I heard those words too,_ even Lash sounded shocked. _Though I scarce can believe them…_

'God. As in the creator of the world, the fundamental will behind all creation, an entity that surpasses even that of Mab or any other of the immortal creatures that wander the Nevernever, probably put together. And he's dead.'

_My host, I am beginning to dislike being in Bizzaro World,_ Lash finally sighed. I could feel her thoughts, and her headache only made my headache worse.

'That's it,' I decided, scowling and wanting to pull out my hair. 'I give up. You hear that, Bizzaro World? You win. Lash, we're going home now.'

_Immense and wrathful dragon, an army of Outsiders, and the Gates are locked,_ Lash reminded me of all the reasons that my plan wasn't.

'Oh, yeah, those,' I grumbled.

Okay. Put aside the existential crisis. Focus on the fight, and then you can deal with the sheer insanity that this world seemed to encapsulate.

Focus on one thing in particular:

Kokabiel had not recognized soulfire. It was the very matter that angels were made out of. At least in my world. And here, a fallen angel, had no idea what it was.

Add that to the list of things I will be repeating later tonight while I slam my head into my desk repeatedly in frustration.

But for now, it was something I could work with. It was an edge.

"Don't mess around!" Ise was shouting up at the fallen. He had that foolhardy determination that only the young who thought they were invincible could manage. Around the courtyard, you could tell that the shock of finding out God was dead (Seriously? I mean, really?) had inflicted on everyone was still running its course. "I won't let you destroy my town! My comrades, Buchou, Asia-chan! Just for your selfish motives! And I'm going to become a Harem King! I won't let you get in my way!"

"Ha!" I felt like groaning as Ise's love of all things female made another inappropriate appearance, but Kokabiel just seemed amused. "Is that what the Sekiryuutei desires? Than come with me! You can become a Harem King right away! I will snatch beauties as we walk past. You can make love to them as much as you want!"

I swear, Ise actually stopped to think about it. Nobody there missed it either.

'Well, it's a good thing the Denarii don't exist here,' I actually did groan this time, 'because if they did Ise wouldn't last a week.'

_Some things are just too easy._

"Geez! Ise! Stop drooling," Rias looked like she was about to pull out her hair, and if she started I wouldn't have been able to bring myself to blame her. "Even in a situation like this! If you like girls that much, than I can just do that kind of thing for you myself when we get home!"

When Ise froze, and put on an intensely serious face, I began to get the impression that this was the point when things really started going out of control in the weird way.

"Seriously? Then… even sucking… I could do that with your oppai?"

"Yes! If you can win against that, than it would be a cheap bargain!"

When light suddenly erupted from Ise's gauntlet, I confirmed that no, things had already taken a turn for the weird a good while back, and I was only now starting to realize it.

'Okay,' I began, trying to rationalize. 'Magic is emotion, and strong emotions can help strengthen spells to higher levels. I get that. So this is perfectly normal, isn't it?'

_If you say so, my host,_ Lash sounded doubtful, but offered her hesitant agreement.

'I mean, even I've used it before, right? Back in the Raith Deeps, when I used Lara to get myself up… I mean my energy! To get my energy back up!'

_I'm a little hazy on the details of that encounter, as it was right after I was so severely wounded, but it is sound in principle,_ Lash again agreed. I could only watch on as even Kokabiel started to get unnerved by the changes coming about in Ise's Sacred Gear.

'So then why does this whole scene just make me want to go home, crawl into my bed, go to sleep, and hope that it was all a bad dream?'

_Because you still retain some vestiges of your sanity, I would assume, my host._

I was actually kind of glad when some weirdo in white armor showed up out of nowhere to lay the smack down on Kokabiel. I was reaching the point where I didn't care how it ended, just as long as it did.

***Scene Break***

"And that's about the long and short of it," I concluded with a sigh. "After the white guy showed up, him and Ise's gauntlet had a frenemy moment, before the white guy took Kokabiel and departed for parts unknown."

"So even the Hakuryuukou has appeared," Sona murmured, rubbing her forehead. "And clearly one that has been awake for longer and trained in the use of his dragon. Furthermore, on the side of the fallen as well."

"I know what you mean. Ise is coming along, but, well, he seems to have a few stumbling points he needs to get over," I commiserated. For one, he needed to learn when was the appropriate time to talk about breasts. "And I have to ask: is spanking considered a generally acceptable form of punishment by you devils? I mean, both you and Rias have done it, Rias twice even. I was kind of expecting something a little more infernal from the forces of hell, you know?"

"If you continue to skip school, then perhaps I might be tempted to employ one of those methods," Sona told me primly.

It was the day after ground zero had almost erupted right here at Kuoh Academy, and I had only bothered to show up once school was over. I shrugged unrepentantly.

"I'm taking a few days off to put myself back in order," I admitted to her, and her brow furrowed at my confession. "I didn't go too overboard, but why let it build up if you can take care of it immediately?"

I hadn't used much in the way of Winter, so I didn't have any sociopathic tendencies building, but I had used soulfire, so best to let myself recharge by doing things I enjoyed.

That Deep Space Nine model wasn't going to build itself, after all.

"I see," Sona frowned, before sighing slightly. "I shall inform the school that you have fallen mildly ill. I'll have one of your classmates bring you your printout so that you can keep pace…"

"Just save them all up in a pile and I'll take care of it when I get back," I advised her, smirking as she scowled at me. She didn't make any mention of trying to get Lash to stop giving me the answers this time at least. I supposed with a greater understanding of just what Lash did for me, she was more willing to extend leniency to the shadow of the Fallen.

"Frenemy?" Tsubaki repeated, shaking her head in reluctant amusement at the term. "First Excalibits, now frenemy?"

"Hey now," I protested my innocence. "I didn't make up that word. I can't take credit for every awesome phrase that pops up, right?" I paused, rubbing my chin with exaggerated speculation. "Or can I? Hmmmm…."

"Perjury is a crime, as is copyright infringement," Sona told me flatly, and I sighed, letting myself deflate.

"Why have you declared all fun your enemy, Sona?" I asked her plaintively. "Did fun do something to you in the past? What is the source of this crusade?"

"I have fun," Sona protested, frowning a little as she took offense at my accusation. "It's just my definition of fun involves far less rampant violation of rules, courtesy, common sense, and decorum."

I stared at her for a moment. "I'm trying to equate the definition you just provided to any objective definition of the word we're talking about. So far, I'm having trouble finding any matches."

Then I yelped, pushing my chair backwards so hard I nearly tumbled backwards in it. "Did you just stomp on my foot?" I accused her, holding the offended appendage gingerly.

"No," Sona declared flatly, pausing to sip her tea with great dignity. "That would be ridiculous."

"Kaichou always looks like she has so much fun when she's flirting with Dresden-kun," one of the girls of the student council stage whispered, Hanakai Momo, a girl I only had started to get to know ever since Sona had started her campaign to enslave me to the Student Council by holding my laptop hostage. Actually, at this point I knew everyone in the Student Council with at least passing familiarity.

"They make such a cute couple," Ruruko employed a similar tone as she giggled slightly.

"Now, now," Tsubaki chided the two of them, though her scolding was lessened in its intensity by the small smile she was sporting too. "None of that, you two."

"Hmph," Saji didn't seem too happy with the way the two of them were matching up Sona and me in their heads, but he also didn't seem to notice the way Ruruko was sitting so close to him, or the way Momo was glaring at her for being that close. Me thinks the two had a reason for trying to make Sona and me seem like a couple.

"Stars and stones," I grumbled, and I heard Lash laughing in my head. Maybe there was something to that adage about it being easier to see another's problems than your own, because I didn't need Lash to tell me what was going on over there. What is this now? A love hexagon? If this kept up I was going to need a flowchart to keep track of it all.

"So just why are you here anyway, Dresden?" Saji muttered. I shrugged.

"Oh, you know," I began casually. "I just figured I should show up, give my own report, you know, really draw this whole thing to a conclusion."

"Well things are over now," Saji told me with a small glare. "So why are you still here?"

"Saji," Sona began, but I interrupted her cheerfully.

"I'm so glad you agree everything is over," I told Saji with a grin. "Here, I expect these to be taken care of shortly," I pulled out two pieces of paper and handed them to the now startled other boy.

"These are…?" he muttered glancing at them in confusion.

"My electric bills," I told him merrily. "The ones you promised to pay off. Thanks for that by the way. Now that everything is over it's time to settle up."

"Erk!" Saji gulped when he finally puzzled out where the amount due was actually posted. "But this is…!"

"Honestly, if I had just charged you by the hour like I normally do it probably wouldn't have been a lot more" I admitted casually. "I put in some good hours first with the tracking than with the spying. The combat I would have done pro bono again."

"Hmmm," Tsubaki frowned slightly as she leaned over as well. "I'll admit, he did agree to pay, but this is a little pricy for a high school student…"

"And now you know why your parents always tell you not to leave the lights on in the room when you leave," I grumbled. "I don't even use my lights most of the time, but a bill's a bill, and trust me, once you're paying your own you'll understand."

"Let me see," Tsubasa chimed in, giving the statements a brief look as she crowded over the slumping Saji. "Hmmm, no wonder you ended up missing two of them," she commiserated with me. "Well, now that that's taken care of, would you like to have a 'congratulations your power is back on' celebration?" She smiled at me in invitation. "We could catch a movie or I could treat you to lunch at a diner."

"Saji," Sona spoke up before I could even have the chance to respond to the obvious invitation. "Since you chose to get involved in this despite my orders, you can consider this to be the final part of your punishment: you need to take responsibility for your actions, and you did agree to this ahead of time."

"Kaichou," Saji slumped, but seemed resigned to actually having to pay my bill. I was relieved. My list was starting to have way too many names on it at this point. It made sense since most of my clientele were teenagers at this point, but it was still aggravating.

I mean, I still hadn't figured out just what I was going to do with the list. If Toot-toot was here, I could probably have worked something out, but the tiny fairy was no long around to work mayhem at my bidding.

Pity.

"And perhaps a party is not out of order either," Sona continued, turning her glasses back on Tsubasa. "Dresden-kun has been doing a fine job of helping, and without him we would be behind on much of our work. A small gathering to both thank him and congratulate him wouldn't be any trouble."

"What's this about a party?" a cheerful voice called out from the door as the final two members of the Student Council made their appearance. "Oh! Its Dres-chan!"

There was only one person in this world that actually shortened my name down like that: Meguri Tomoe. I swear, the girl reminded me of Toot-toot as much for her hyperactive nature as for her penchant for mayhem.

I paused, and wondered if maybe I had a way to exact vengeance on the list after all. If Tomoe was as easy to bribe as my tiny fairy cohort, that might actually be doable.

"Calm down, Meguri-san," the final member who had shown up with the redheaded menace did her best to calm down the other girl. That was Kusaka Reya, an oasis of calm that frequently was the only respite from the madness that Tomoe indulged in. The two of them were good friends and hardly went anywhere without the other nearby. "It's good to see you again, Dresden-kun," she continued with a soft smile. "Thank you again for the help with the library."

"Er, don't mention it," I told her, scratching my head. Reya was the kind of girl that even if I wasn't getting blackmailed into helping I would probably have ended up being suckered into giving a hand. Murphy would have called it the chauvinist in me, though I liked to think of it as chivalry, but Reya was the kind of girl you just felt obligated to hold doors and pull chairs for: pretty, polite, and way too kind to leave alone.

"But Kaichou," Tsubasa was continuing, meeting Sona's eyes with narrowed ones of her own. "It's really not fair, trying to take over my invitation to celebrate! I did ask first, after all!"

"And while you might wish to express your congratulations, Dresden-kun has been assisting all of us, not just yourself these last few days," Sona argued back, adjusting her glasses. "It would be impolite to the Council as a whole to deny everyone their chance to express that gratitude."

"But I wanted my thanks to be more personal!" Tsubasa declared, frowning. "Isn't Kaichou just interfering with something which should be just the two of us?"

Sona blanched ever so slightly at that, before recovering. "While indeed it is true that I, as both the King and the Kaichou, would not interfere with the personal actions of either my peerage or the Student Council, bear in mind that it was I who first engaged in the attempt to help Dresden-kun acclimatize to both student life as well as interacting with devils. Thus, isn't it Yura who is in fact interfering?"

"T-that is that and this is this!" Tsubasa began at a stammer, before recovering and raising her voice slightly as she continued. "Kaichou didn't make things clear early enough, so it shouldn't count! With that in mind, wasn't it me who…!"

"Stars and stones," I muttered, staring in growing realization as the scene started to remind me of one of the all too often times me and Thomas had gone drinking and his incubus nature started to overcome anything female that remained in our presence for too long.

But still, to see the beginnings of a catfight break out over me, rather than my supernaturally irresistible older half-brother kind of made me feel dizzy.

_The harvest grows ripe, my host!_ I heard Lash laughing softly in the back of my head.

'Damn you for this, Lash,' I told her with a sigh.

_Though you know, my host, this is in part your fault as well,_ Lash continued, as the bickering between the two started to… well not really increase. I honestly couldn't imagine Sona degenerating into hair pulling and name calling, and Tsubasa also seemed to be the kind of person with too much personal dignity to let herself slip like that, especially when the one she was arguing with was her master and all.

Intensify. That was the word I was looking for for this situation.

'Why is it my fault?' I demanded back, feeling the accusation to be intensely unfair. 'I'm not doing anything!'

_Correct,_ Lash agreed with me easily. _But the two have made their efforts to garner your attention, and you have interpreted and understood those actions correctly. Wouldn't it now be your turn to respond to them, in one way or another?_

'Er,' I began, and I couldn't help but feel that while unfair that I was being put on the spot by the two, I was sort of playing the cheap card of pretending I didn't notice. 'But, what am I supposed to do?' I countered. 'I mean, I've never exactly been the pick of the litter before. What do you do when two attractive and nice girls, well, devils, are both making it pretty clear that they're romantically inclined? I mean, if they were just after a fling, I would at least have some second hand experience to draw from, but they both seem like they're more interested in actually dating, as in just holding hands and going to the movies and stuff.'

I barely remembered what dating was like back in high school. I distinctly remembered it was a whole different creature from dating as a mature adult.

Well, in my case, as an adult anyway. I'd been told I'd never quite made it as far as 'mature'.

_Well, to begin with,_ Lash at least took my question seriously. _What is it that you desire? What is it you seek in a relationship?_

I frowned for a moment, both at her words and the fact that I was getting dating advice for how to respond to two amorous devils from the shadow of a fallen angel.

'I remember when I was normal,' I sighed. 'It seems so long ago.'

_I can assure you, the memories are vastly exaggerated,_ Lash advised me. _There was never a time when you qualified as normal. Now, if you decide that you wish to engage both of them simultaneously, allow me to offer some advice: to begin with, you will need to approach one of them independently, preferably with the intention to seduce, before…_

'I'm not making a freaking harem!' it took honest effort not to shout that out loud. Really. It did. Honest effort wasn't enough when Lash helpfully provided me a picture of what her harem outcome would look like and I yelped slightly. 'And I don't have a hair pulling fetish!'

"Dresden-kun?" I blinked, and looked over at Sona to find her giving me a puzzled look. I glanced around to see that everyone in the room was staring at me in curiosity.

"I didn't actually say that last bit out loud, did I?" I gulped, glancing around to try and confirm that I hadn't just declared my absence of a fetish to the room in general.

"No, it's just that you made a weird noise and then Kaichou asked you a question," even Saji was giving me an odd rather than confrontational look. "But you just sat there…"

"Oh thank god," I muttered, feeling the urge to sink my head onto the table and sigh in relief.

"Is there something the matter?" Sona asked again, giving me a worried look. "Would it perhaps be better if you retired for the day?"

"Or maybe you're hungry?" Tsubasa offered, rummaging in her bag before pulling out another bento. "I saved some from lunch in case you were, I mean I was hungry later. If you want, we could share?"

When Sona and Tsubasa started to glare at each other again, I finally made a decision. "Okay, I was never good at subtlety. Might as well play to my strengths," I declared.

"Play to your strengths? What are those?" Tsubaki chimed in, though Sona and Tsubasa were both too busy glaring at each other.

"Being blunt," I answered for her before sitting up straight and taking a deep breath. "Sitri-san, Yura-san, may I speak to the both of you in private please?"

"Oh!" Ruruko sat up, eyes going wide as both Sona and Tsubasa both startled, turning to give me surprised looks. "Both of them…" She suddenly glanced to the side, and quickly latched an arm around Saji's and started pulling him to his feet. "Genshirou-senpai, I just remembered something I needed help with on the second floor. Please come with me! I might need help."

"W-what?" Saji yelped, as his junior began to tug at him. "B-but! Nimura-san! That bastard just…!"

"Gen-chan," Momo joined in, latching on to his other arm as the two began to work in unison to pull the other male out. "I'll go along. If Ruruko needs help, having another along might help. Also, there was something I needed assistance with as well that we can attend to afterwards."

"B-but! K-Kaichou!" Saji managed to get out, trying to resist as the two dragged him out. All fear when rivals unite.

You would not believe how many times I saw the exact same thing before, though Thomas rarely was a resisting factor in those scenes.

"Come along, Tomoe-chan," Reya smiled slightly as she began to lead her friend out as well.

"Eh? But we just got here?" Tomoe seemed confused, glancing around with innocent eyes. "We have to leave already? Er, bye, everyone!"

"Kaichou," Tsubaki began, giving me a hesitant look before she turned that gaze on her King. "If you'd like…"

"…No," Sona declared shifting her glasses as she gave me a direct look. "No, I believe Dresden-kun has something he wishes to discuss, and I think it would be best if the three of us did so in privacy."

"Very well," Tsubaki capitulated, though she gave me a warning look, a caring friend worried about how things were about to go for said friend.

I didn't blame her. Personal experience told me that 'can I talk to you alone' bit rarely led to anything good.

"So, Dresden-kun," Tsubasa was the one to start it off, and she sounded like she was nervously bracing for bad news herself. "What do you need?"

"Okay, first off, just in case there's some devil tradition or something that I might be mistaking all this for," I began with a deep breath. Man, where was Kokabiel when you needed him? "You two like me, don't you."

"Women prefer it when a man can be more subtle," Sona declared, though she was flushing lightly. I took that as a 'yes'.

"Er, haha," Tsubasa stammered and laughed embarrassedly. Finally she gave me a quick nod before peering up from her bangs.

"Why?" I couldn't help but ask, genuinely confused. When the two blinked, I held up my hand. "Er, I'm not fishing for compliments or anything, I'm just genuinely confused. I mean, why would the two of you like me? I'm a tall foreign delinquent, a wizard that tends to get into trouble way too much. I'm rude, and informal, and I tend to have a problem with authority. I'm not even that good looking. I can barely make rent half the time and I'm having trouble making enough money to even pay my bills, so it's not like I would be able to treat either of you to dates or things like that, and if you ever get a look at my room you'll realize I'm an otaku as well to boot. Not to mention that I'm a human and you two are devils. I mean, just what is it that you two like enough that you're even fighting over me?"

It's not that I have self-esteem issues or anything. It's just I know myself well enough to know that I have a lot of negative points working against me. So why was it that not just one, but two intelligent and mature young girls like this were actually trying to pursue me?

I think their answers would affect my final decision immensely.

Sona hesitated, and again she was sporting that tiny blush of hers that made her look adorable enough for even Lash to comment on it.

"If I had to say why I started to like you," it was Tsubasa who spoke up first, raising her head to look at me directly despite her embarrassment. "It's because you're my type."

"Your type?" I asked, wondering just what she meant. What, did she have a fetish for tall people or something?

"I like the guys who seem covered in mud," she admitted, blushing a bit at the confession. "I think guys who aren't afraid to get down and dirty when they need to are dependable, and it means that they're not afraid of hard work." She seemed embarrassed by the confession and hurried on. "But even if that's why I noticed you, I think you have a lot of good points as well. You're self-sufficient, and you work hard. You don't make excuses for when you mess up, but you do your best to make up for it. And, also, I think you're kind of… cute…"

She trailed off at that last bit, hunching her shoulders as she blushed deeply. I guess coming and flat out telling a boy what they liked about them was embarrassing for a girl her age. I found myself shifting awkwardly as well at hearing someone saying those kinds of things to me.

"If I were to decide on when I became interested," Sona spoke up after a few moments, and unlike earlier she seemed to have regained control of her blush. Her gaze was direct, and earnest. "It would be when you apologized for your reaction to our nature as devils. Even though you clearly had preconceptions, rather than simply make accusations and rely on rumors you went out and investigated. After finishing your inquiries, rather than stick to your prejudice you clearly acknowledged your mistake and apologized for it. I think that people who are able to acknowledge their own fallacies and make an effort to overcome them are more wonderful."

She smiled slightly as she continued. "Beyond that, I think you are someone who thinks quickly on their feet and are able to make decisions based around more than just their pride. And also, you make me laugh."

"It's not all about looks you know," I muttered, embarrassed at her declaration. She gave a small smile, and laughed briefly through her nose at my attempt to lighten the mood, though Tsubasa didn't hold back her giggle nearly as much. "Though that makes this harder rather than easier…"

"Makes what harder?" Sona asked cautiously.

"If it had just been something like I was a wizard, or that you were attempting to get me to become a devil, I'd already be out the door," I admitted flatly. Sona narrowed her eyes in a glare at me for daring to attribute such base reasons to her affection. I held a hand up defensively. "Sorry, it's just people have been after me for that before, so I had to make sure. But now that I've heard your reasons I…"

"You what?" Tsubasa prompted me, leaning forward in anticipation.

Finally I gave a defeated sigh and slumped. "I have no damn clue," I admitted bluntly. Sona scowled, but I held up a hand. "It's just, I have baggage. Like, serious baggage. You don't have to hear all my stories to know that. I've," I swallowed, debating how much to reveal, "I've been in relationships in the past, and none of them really ended well. And there was someone that I really wanted to be in a relationship, but the timing always was wrong."

"I see," Sona began cautiously, giving me a considering look. "I'm sorry," she apologized, and I glanced at her in surprise. "I had not considered that you might have been in a relationship that ended poorly. I had not intended to come across as a pushy woman."

"Er, it's not your fault," I hastily tried to apologize. "I mean, I'm not trying to put this on you. It's just I honestly haven't considered dating for a while now, and now that I am considering I have no idea what to do…"

"So you are considering?" Tsubasa leaned in eagerly, and I flinched and blushed.

"Er, w-w-well, you're both v-very attractive," oh god, I was stuttering again. "Yura-san has a very dignified appearance, and you always do your best to help out your underclassmen and be polite. And Sitri-san is very hardworking and diligent, while also looking mature… and am I digging myself a hole?"

Please, give me something to blow up now.

"Actually, I'm quite relieved that the normally overly casual Dresden-kun is trying so diligently that he's actually using honorifics," Sona sounded satisfied, and Tsubasa giggled as well. I scowled, but relaxed a bit.

"Okay, so now that it's all out in the open, I'll admit I have no clue what to do next," I confessed.

"Why should we have to do anything next?" Tsubasa asked, stroking her chin contemplatively. "I mean, it's not like we're in a rush, right? Why don't we just take our time and see how things go?"

I blinked, honestly never once having thought that that option would be presented. Weren't girls that age supposed to be all eager to get in a relationship, or get all heartbroken when the guy they like says something like this?

'Lash, are you certain there's no way I can just go back to being an adult again?'

_There is indeed. It's called waiting patiently and drinking your milk until you finish growing._

'I tried that method before. It sucked.'

_Oh well. Second time's the charm?_

'You suck too.'

"Is that really alright?" I had to ask, not sure if I was keeping the relief from showing but pretty sure that some of it was spilling out.

"It is like Yura said," Sona nodded, adjusting her glasses. "Truthfully, there is nothing wrong with boys and girls refraining from relationships that might interfere with their studies. And a longer period of friendship will allow for a deeper understanding of the other parties to develop."

"And it gives me more time to raise flags," Tsubasa smiled slightly.

Er. Huh? Raise flags? Hadn't I heard that term before?

"Yura," Sona apparently got the reference as she turned to give another of her micro-glares at the other girl. "Did we not just agree to refrain from attempting to push such things until Dresden-kun is more ready for a relationship?"

"But didn't Kaichou just adjust her glasses?" Tsubasa leaned forward as well, meeting her master's glare. "And doesn't she only do that when she's planning something?"

"I-I!" Sona glanced to the side guiltily. "I was simply contemplating tactics for future rating games."

"And why would Kaichou be thinking about those kinds of things while having an important discussion with Dresden-kun?" Tsubasa grinned triumphantly. "Unless Kaichou is the kind of woman who really doesn't think about men or love seriously!"

"That is not it at all!" Sona instantly declared, her face heating up a bit again. "I too think about things like romance! I just do not think it proper to discuss such plans around others!"

"So you were planning to do something to win Harry-kun's heart!" Tsubasa proclaimed in triumphant. Wait, did she just use my given name?

"As though you did not just admit to being planning the same as well!" Sona scowled back. I think I just discovered another strange trait of Bizzaro World: I could have sworn I saw actual lightning appear between the two. But that would be impossible…

'Er, Lash,' I began. 'Is this the point where I should start backing away slowly and hope they don't realize I'm still here?'

_Ah, what a marvelous harvest,_ she laughed softly.

***Scene Break***

"Lash," I began tiredly, "the power's back on."

"Indeed it is, my host," Lash responded good naturedly. She appeared before me, this time dressed in her Greek robes as she picked her way across the room daintily. It wasn't like her steps could actually affect anything, but she did strive for realism in moments like these.

"Also, Lash, I think I hate you," I told her dryly, as I made my way over to the fridge. "And remind me to pick up some groceries tomorrow so that I can restock the fridge." Then I took a quick whiff, and made a face. "Remind me to clean the fridge tomorrow so I can pick up some groceries the day after."

"The change in your schedule has been duly noted," Lash informed me airily. "As is your current tantrum."

"I'm not having a tantrum, and I'll prove it even if I have to kick my feet and waive my arms," I told her with great dignity. "And also, I've decided on what my next course of action is going to be."

"To pin your admirers to the desk in the Student Council Room after school leaning in to devour first one, then the other, before you…"

"Okay, seriously. You're not allowed to surf the net anymore," I told her, too tired to actually rise to her provocation. "Bizzaro World has proven to be too great a negative influence on you."

"There is much about Bizzaro World I have come to look upon with great caution," Lash answered softly, and I glanced over at her as well, my expression growing serious.

"God is dead," I told her, shaking my head at such an unbelievable fact. "Not just 'a god' but capital 'G' God."

"It is too much to take in, all at once," Lash nodded seriously. "But if it is true, the ramifications of such a fact have no doubt echoed for some time. Even just your knowledge of it could have ramifications of its own."

"Hells bells," I muttered. "Is this what Bob felt like? Sitting on a giant secret like this that could cause you to be hunted down at any time for knowing it."

"There is much for us to be concerned about, my host," Lash nodded in agreement. "The status of God, Gremory Rias' relationship to one of the current Maou, the power she was wielding; questions we sorely need answers for."

"Well, at least one thing is for certain," I muttered, plunking myself down in front of my laptop as I turned it on, checking the status of the battery. "At least I don't have to go to the Student Council Room anymore." I paused, and sighed. "And Lash?"

"Yes, my host?"

"Why are you dressed up like Akagi Ritsuko?"

"I've no idea of what you speak, my host."

"Gotta be the lab coat," I decided as she adjusted a clipboard, and then the swimsuit underneath the lab coat.

I still didn't have a clue what to do about Sona and Tsubasa. At least, it was out in the open even if it wasn't resolved. The two didn't seem like they were going to give up anytime soon, but at least I had made my feelings known, and it didn't feel like I was leading them on.

Still, I think a bit of space might help keep things from escalating too much. I had gotten to like the Student Council well enough, so I'd still drop by, but probably not every day like I have been.

I realized, after a few moments of being lost in thought, that while my computer was working, and the battery was charging, whenever I tried to pull up a browser I got nothing but an error message.

"Lash," I began, dread in my voice.

Helpfully, Lash's image lifted a paper from my desk, revealing my internet bill that was over two weeks late.

"If there was a God, I'd be asking him to damn something so hard right now," I groaned.


End file.
